11 signs you’re “too nice” to others (and it’s holding you back)

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Being nice isn’t a bad thing – being too nice can be detrimental to your life. 

But it’s a thin line, and one that’s easy to cross without realizing it. One day, you wake up and realize that you’ve lost yourself in the process of pleasing everyone else. 

If this sounds familiar, this article is for you. Here are 11 signs you’re too nice and it’s holding you back in life! 

1) You struggle to say no

This is a classic sign that you’re being too nice and it’s holding you back in life…

If you often sign up for things you don’t want to or agree to favors you don’t have time for, it could be that you feel uncomfortable letting people down.

But here’s the thing – you’re not prioritizing your time or well-being by always saying yes! 

This is where having strong boundaries can help you. As well as learning how to politely but firmly say “no”, you’ll also regain control over your time and emotions. 

2) You constantly apologize 

Do you find yourself apologizing, even for things that aren’t in your control or weren’t your fault? 

This is another sign you’re too nice

I once had a friend who apologized for EVERYTHING. Even when I’d say, “Sarah, you don’t need to keep apologizing”…She’d apologize for apologizing too much! 

But the problem with this is that it can make you seem insecure and unsure of yourself. 

In the workplace, this doesn’t inspire confidence. 

And in your relationships, it could make you come across as a pushover. This could hold you back from reaching your full potential or finding a healthy relationship! 

3) You avoid confrontation 

Another sign you’re too nice is if you can’t stand the thought of confrontation.

It makes you feel uneasy and nervous – you’d rather eat hot lava than call someone out on their bad behavior.

I feel you.

But sometimes we need to push through these uncomfortable feelings and stand up for ourselves! 

When you avoid confrontation, you’re essentially letting people treat you however they like. 

This could hold you back in life from a professional aspect but also within your friendships and romantic relationships! 

4) You agree with everything 

Now, we’ve already covered that if you’re too nice, you may struggle to say no. And the flip side of that is you probably agree with everything, and to everything. 

You might:

  • Find it hard to voice an opposing opinion
  • Struggle to turn down invitations or plans
  • Avoid saying how you really feel 

And this can have a knock-on effect in ways you might not even realize, from feeling frustrated to becoming burnout and exhausted! 

Learning to take a moment before agreeing to something, or taking a deep breath before voicing your opinion, could help you overcome this. 

5) You never ask for help

Another sign that you’re being held back because you’re too nice is if you find it hard to ask for help.

You might feel like you don’t want to inconvenience anyone by asking for a hand or a favor with something you’re struggling with. 

But the thing is, all healthy relationships rely on give and take. 

You do things for the people you care about, and if they value you, they’ll return the favor happily! 

So, work your way up – start by asking for something small, and eventually it’ll be easier to turn to people for help with the big stuff! 

6) You sacrifice your own needs

If you struggle to ask for help, it’s likely that you also sacrifice your own needs. 

An aunt of mine is always so nice to everyone, but it means that she suffers as a result. 

She will never admit to being too tired to make dinner for guests or turn down an invitation to a party even though her arthritis is playing up. 

And forget about asking someone to do something for her for once! 

If this sounds like you, you’re going to slowly drive yourself to the ground if you don’t start putting yourself first sometimes. 

Get clear on what you need to feel happy, healthy, and fulfilled, and don’t feel bad for voicing it!

7) You’re a people pleaser 

Now, a lot of these signs point to this: You’re a people pleaser

You hate disappointing people or feeling like you’ve let someone down.

And as lovely as it is of you to care so much about others, you’ve got to understand that disappointment is a part of life.

And those who do care about you will forgive and forget! 

The truth is, when you’re so busy trying to make everyone else happy, it’s easy to forget about your own goals and values. This can hold you back from creating a fulfilling life – you’re essentially living for everyone else! 

8) You feel responsible for other’s feelings 

Another sign you’re too nice is if you feel responsible for other people’s feelings, even if it has nothing to do with you.

And while empathy is an amazing trait to have, if you’re overly empathetic it could cause you unnecessary stress and worry. 

Ultimately, you have to remember that some things simply aren’t your problem. You can’t take on the emotions of the world – you have to protect yourself otherwise you’ll constantly feel overwhelmed! 

9) You feel like people try to take advantage of you

Do you feel like people take you for a ride?

That they ask more of you than they do others and give nothing in return?

If so, this is another clear and classic sign you may be too nice

Unfortunately, the world is full of people who won’t lose sleep over using someone else. And if you get the feeling that people regularly do this to you, it’s time to make a change. 

10) You struggle to make decisions 

Another way that being too nice might present itself is if you find it hard to make decisions.

This might happen because you are overly conscious of how your choices will affect others.

And while it’s kind and considerate of you, there needs to be a balance. 

If you’re indecisive, you could lose out on opportunities for growth, such as a new job or moving to a different city. 

11) You feel resentful 

And finally, if you often feel resentful towards those around you, there’s a good chance you’re too nice and it’s holding you back…

For example, if you turned down a chance to go to the concert of your favorite artist because your neighbor asked you to help them with something insignificant, you may feel disappointed in yourself for not saying “no”. 

This is a downward spiral that could end with you feeling bitter and angry at the world – the exact opposite of your intention! 

So, if you want to remain a nice person, but without sacrificing yourself in the process, it’s time to start respecting yourself and worrying less about everyone else! 

The most important thing you can take from reading this article is setting boundaries, prioritizing yourself, and learning to say, “NO”. 

Kiran Athar

Kiran is a freelance writer with a degree in multimedia journalism. She enjoys exploring spirituality, psychology, and love in her writing. As she continues blazing ahead on her journey of self-discovery, she hopes to help her readers do the same. She thrives on building a sense of community and bridging the gaps between people. You can reach out to Kiran on Twitter: @KiranAthar1

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