11 signs you’re such a deep thinker that few people actually “get” you

Being a deep thinker is a wonderful gift. Imagine being able to perceive the world in a unique, multidimensional way. Imagine seeing the patterns and interconnectedness in even the smallest things. 

It’s a rich inner world deep thinkers have, for sure. 

Unfortunately, it can also feel like a curse sometimes because the truth is, not everyone is capable of handling the heavy stuff. In fact, very few people can actually “get” a deep thinker. 

You’ve probably experienced those out-of-sync feelings yourself, which is why you’re here. In this article, I’ll discuss 11 signs you’re such a deep thinker that few people understand you. 

1) The topics you enjoy aren’t mainstream topics

Choose a topic you’d like to talk about from this set: 

  • Celebrity gossip
  • Sports
  • The latest reality show
  • The philosophical implications of AI

If you’re a deep thinker, I’m willing to bet you chose D. Am I right? 

I know because that’s what I would choose myself. And I used to be called out for talking about deep stuff like this. People would say, “You’re such a nerd!” or, “Omg, can we talk about something else? This stuff’s boring!”

After such a few instances, I accepted the fact that not everyone finds the topics I like exciting. In fact, I would say I’ve encountered only a few people who’d jump in with me and gladly thresh out the minutiae in themes like: 

  • Philosophy and ethics
  • Science
  • Literature and history
  • Existentialism

There are so many more complex topics out there that pique a deep thinker’s curiosity, but you get the idea. 

2) You appreciate complexity

So, how come you love those heavy topics more than chitchat or small talk? It’s all because you love a good conundrum. 

That’s why you love puzzles and brain teasers. Mystery and adventure games. 

I get it. As someone whose most used apps on my phone are the Sudoku and crossword puzzle apps, I understand the need to constantly exercise that noggin of yours with complex activities. 

Naturally, your appreciation for complexity extends to the conversations you have with others. Unfortunately, like I said earlier, not everyone’s up for that, which is why…

3) You often find yourself drifting off into your own thoughts 

Even in the middle of a group. 

I’m also pretty sure that back when you were still in school, you were often reprimanded for daydreaming in class.

And of course, you embrace solitude. That’s another thing deep thinkers have in common. 

Where most people would hate the idea of being alone, you relish it. It’s when you do your best thinking after all! 

Introspection is your default mode because your mind is a vast landscape of thoughts that roll around like tumbleweeds.  

And what exactly do you do during those moments of introspection? 

4) You look for meaning in everything

This is a hallmark that separates the deep thinkers from the average ones. A deep thinker won’t take anything at face value. 

Meanwhile, the average person won’t waste time thinking anything more about an idea presented to them or about something that crosses their path. 

Let’s consider this example: Two people are at a park. All around them, leaves are fluttering to the ground. 

The average person would think nothing more of it. They’re just leaves; what else is there to say?

But for the deep thinker, those leaves can mean a whole lot more – they can be symbols of change, a testament to the circle of life, a reminder of how everything happens in its own time… 

Here are some more ways this difference shows up in life: 

  • You understand the art that nobody “gets”. In fact, you gravitate towards art that makes you think. 
  • More than just appreciating the lyrical words, you understand the deeper meaning behind poems and stories. 
  • You ascribe a symbolic meaning to the ordinary gestures that characters make in films and books. 

It’s all about your ability to observe a seemingly ordinary event and connect it to larger, complex concepts and draw insights that others might not immediately see. That’s truly profound!

That said, this ability is also what pushes you to do this next thing.

5) You tend to overthink

If you’ve ever been told you analyze things too much, you’re likely a deep thinker not many people “get”. 

I’m right there with you. My sister, for instance, used to be quite confused as to why I would constantly ask questions and read a lot of things into matters that were, for her, quite straightforward. 

But I couldn’t help it; I just had to understand the hows and whys behind things! I had this need to endlessly dissect issues. 

Well, as burdensome or heavy overthinking can be at times, it does give you an advantage – you’ve got a depth of insight that others might not have. 

However, it might sometimes not feel like an advantage, because the reality is…

6) People confuse you with a lot of things

Weird. Arrogant. Absent-minded. Pretentious. 

I’ve heard them all. And I do understand why people might see me, or any deep thinker, that way. 

See, when you have insights that could go above people’s heads, their natural inclination would be that of confusion. Or they might see you as an arrogant and pretentious person who loves flexing your superiority. 

Other times, if they see you deep in thought, they could ask, “Hey, are you all right?” 

Or if they’re into quick assumptions, they’d conclude that you’re nothing but a fool with your head in the clouds.  

The point is, your profound comments might come across differently to people, simply because they don’t really get you. 

Related: 16 signs you have a mysterious personality that is hard to read

7) People look at you blankly or change the subject abruptly

How do you know they don’t get you? Through cues like blank looks or a sudden attempt to change the subject. 

Has that happened to you? You’d be sharing an opinion then people go blank, unsure what to make of what you’ve said. 

Then, after blanking out, they could shift the topic to something else entirely. 

It can feel a bit rude, honestly. Especially when you’re in the middle of a fascinating discussion. But remember, as fascinating as it is for you, other people might not feel the same way. 

They might be feeling out of their depth because they can’t understand the intricacies of what you just said. Your conversational depth can sometimes be overwhelming for them. 

8) You often feel a sense of disconnect

Sadly, those instances above can often leave you feeling detached. While people are busy laughing and talking about the latest trends in pop culture, you’re left to your own thoughts because those topics just don’t interest you.

I know how incredibly lonely it can feel when you can’t seem to connect with anyone. Oftentimes, it will feel like you’re watching life from the sidelines, like you’re an observer of the world rather than a participant. 

And especially now, when more and more of the world seems driven by selfish interests and materialism, it can feel like you – with all of your intellectual, emotional, and spiritual depth – don’t belong. 

But don’t feel discouraged. Somewhere out there is a tribe of deep thinkers just like you, and you will eventually find them. 

9) You can consider multiple perspectives

Speaking of belonging, have you ever been told, “Whose side are you on?” Maybe you’ve got two friends in the middle of an argument, and you don’t really see the need to side with either one of them? 

Well, chalk that down to your ability to understand multiple perspectives. That’s not a skill many people have! 

Thanks to your open-mindedness, it’s truly second nature for you to mull over an idea and see it from various angles. For you, an idea is like a Rubik’s cube you turn over and over, twisting here and there to get everything back to its rightful place. 

However, that might not sit well with most other people who see life as black and white. They might not understand how you can stay neutral when the “right” side is so obvious (to them).  

This likely won’t win you many points in the popularity department, but that’s okay because…

10) You value wisdom over popularity

Let’s face it – in today’s divisive world, it’s all too easy to get trapped in echo chambers. It all comes down to a need for belonging. We love being around people we identify with, who share the same beliefs and values with us. 

But for deep thinkers, the pursuit of truth trumps the need to belong. They have a drive to challenge their own beliefs and assumptions because they want to get at the heart of the matter. 

That doesn’t mean they don’t ever get trapped in echo chambers themselves, but compared to the average person, they’re not as likely to be. 

And as I mentioned earlier, deep thinkers don’t really enjoy talking about superficial things, which are, let’s admit it, what most people like talking about. 

So given that, it’s easy to see how they can be considered “uncool” or “too serious” for regular folks. But that’s okay, because deep thinkers won’t sacrifice their love for wisdom for mere “cool points”!

And it’s all because of this last point…

11) Truth and authenticity are part of your core values

That’s right, as a deep thinker, pretending to be someone you’re not is, well, unthinkable. It goes against your very identity.

After all, you’re all about pursuing understanding and knowledge. And if you have to be a non-conformist to do that (and oftentimes, you are), then so be it. 

And you know what? Much of the world might not “get” you, but you’re fine with it. Because as a deep thinker, you have the capacity to understand that, too, and live life as truthfully as you can anyway.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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