Have you ever wondered whether the people around you genuinely respect you?
Unfortunately, we’re all quite familiar with the signs of disrespect. But what about the other side of the coin? If you want to know the signs you’re respected by people around you, read on…
1) People seek out your advice
When people respect you, they respect your opinion.
They know that whatever advice you give them will be good advice. They trust your judgment, and they want to know what you would do if you were in their situation.
But it’s more than just that…
When people respect you, they don’t try to dominate the relationship. Whether it’s your colleague, partner, or friend, they want you to weigh in with your opinion because they see you as an equal.
Granted, you might feel like an agony aunt or uncle from time to time with people coming to you for your wise words of wisdom, but it’s a sure sign you’re respected highly by them.
And in general, you might find people look up to you because you live your life in a way that warrants respect. You make good choices. You’re probably a person with integrity.
And who doesn’t want to be like that?
All of these reasons contribute to why people respect you, but also why they respect your advice and opinion.
2) They actually listen when you speak
Do you often have to ask people to put their phones away when you’re trying to have a conversation with them?
Well, if you’re respected, you probably don’t come across this infuriating situation very often.
That’s because another key sign of respect is having people’s full attention. You don’t need to raise your voice, say outrageous things, or be the funniest person in the room for everyone to listen.
In fact, people who are truly respected could be wittering on about the weather, and everyone else will hang off their every word.
And even better?
You can see it in their body language. When you speak, people make eye contact. They sit up a little straighter to show they’re listening. They let you finish your sentence.
Again, this is because they value your opinion. But it’s also because they don’t want to disrespect you by cutting you off or looking uninterested.
Even if you are only talking about the weather.
3) All your boundaries are respected
Putting boundaries in place and actually getting people to respect them is not easy. It’s something most of us have to persevere through.
But if you have the full respect of those around you, there’s a good chance that your boundaries are respected too.
When you say no to something, people accept it. They won’t try to convince or manipulate you into changing your response.
And when you say yes to something, people appreciate it.
The truth is though, having strong boundaries is probably one of the reasons you are respected in the first place.
You define how people treat you by standing your ground and expecting fair treatment. Some people might not always like it, but they can’t deny that it’s admirable to see someone with self-respect.
4) They’re less likely to ridicule your decisions
As a former primary school teacher, gaining the respect of the kids was incredibly important. Not only did it reduce the amount of discipline involved in the job, but it made the kids’ learning experience far more enjoyable all around.
Because there’s a difference between someone who earns respect to get through to people and someone who enforces their decisions.
Think of a manager, parent, or sports coach. Without respect, their employees, children, or team, won’t pay much importance to their guidance.
They’ll answer back. They’ll ignore them. They may even ridicule them or put down their ideas.
And if you try to rule by forcing people to listen to you, they’ll just end up resenting you.
So if you notice that people tend to listen to your ideas, follow your guidance, and trust what you say, it’s a definite sign you’ve got their respect.
5) They want to be part of your circle
Do you notice that people want to hang out with you?
Maybe you’re lucky and your coworkers always seem to have a spare ticket to events, just for you.
The truth is, if you’re respected by people around you, they’ll want to be a part of your circle.
It’s human nature.
When you’re a kid in high school, everyone wants to be seen with the popular, cool kids. It’s all a matter of perception.
If you hang out with the rich kids, people think you’re one of them. If you’re seen with the chess geeks, you’re probably going to get lumped as one… you get the gist.
So when people want to be seen as respectable, they’re not going to chill out with the village idiot.
That’s one reason.
Another reason is that some people will genuinely enjoy your company. It’s much easier to spend time with someone you respect and admire than someone who you find distasteful.
6) No one talks sh*t behind your back
You know you’re respected when people talk sh*t to your face and defend you behind your back.
It means one thing:
They’re comfortable enough, to be honest with you.
They know where they stand with you and that criticism to your face isn’t going to cause World War 3.
But, the most important part is that when someone is dragging your character through the mud and you’re not there to defend yourself, these people will step in.
They’ll speak up and defend you in your absence.
On the other hand, if they join in on the gossip, you know they definitely don’t respect you (and should be ashamed to call themselves your friends!).
7) Disagreements tend to stay fair and civil
The truth is, if people respect you, they naturally don’t want to offend you.
Now, that doesn’t mean they won’t ever disagree with you. They will, even if you don’t like it. But they’re less likely to attack you with an irrational shouting match or spit curse words out at you.
But here’s the thing:
Most people mirror the behavior of the person they’re dealing with.
If you respectfully approach people, it’s a lot harder for them to come to you all guns blazing. If you’re calm, they’re more likely to be calm.
And that’s not all…
As mentioned earlier, if you enforce boundaries, say by walking away the first time someone insults you, they learn not to cross that line again. Especially if they want to continue having any sort of relationship with you.
So simply by treating people the way you do, and treating yourself with respect, you’re naturally setting the precedent for others to approach you with respect too.
8) People are honest with you
Being honest is an integral part of any healthy relationship.
But most importantly, being honest goes hand in hand with showing respect.
When you lie, you’re taking part in an act of deception. Dramatic, I know. But it’s true, even a small lie is still robbing someone’s right to the truth.
So when you choose to tell the truth, even if it’s painful to say out loud, what you’re really showing that person is that you respect them.
Therefore, if you notice people simply can’t lie to you, that you’re always the one to know the truth first, you can rest assured you have their respect.
9) People respect your time and efforts
Another important sign you’re respected by people around you is when your time isn’t taken for granted. And neither are your efforts.
When people don’t respect you, they’re quite happy to use and abuse you.
We’ve all gone through it at some point in our lives. The friend that keeps on taking but never puts anything back into the relationship.
The relative who expects your help whenever they snap their fingers, paying little regard to your busy schedule. Not even offering you a drink in return for your troubles.
But when you have people’s respect, these incidents happen less and less.
People are more conscious of your time. They’re more appreciative when you go out of your way for them.
Just like honesty, this is another word that goes hand in hand with respect. When you have all three, appreciation, honesty, and respect, you’ve got as close to a perfect relationship as is possible!
So, if people feel bad for wasting your time, or shower you with gratitude when you lend them a hand, know that it’s because they respect you – and they respect all that comes with you too.
10) You respect yourself
A lot of these signs involve the way you treat yourself, the way you enforce boundaries on those around you, and the way present yourself.
This is a key part of gaining the respect of others – to first respect yourself.
By doing all of those points above, you’re treating yourself with kindness. You’re looking after yourself. You’re showing other people how you expect to be treated (and what you won’t tolerate under any circumstances).
Now, this isn’t to say that people with little to no self-respect aren’t respected by other people. They can be.
But the truth is, how we treat ourselves is how others see fit to treat us. If you’re constantly disrespecting yourself, what’s to stop others from doing the same?
On the other hand, if you hold yourself up to a high standard, others will naturally follow suit.
So, if you feel like you respect yourself and live life with integrity, there’s a good chance the people around you treat you the same way.
11) You’re never left hanging
Have you ever been ignored by someone?
It’s one of the worst things in the world. You end up questioning every experience with that person, wondering what you did that was so bad for them to give you the cold shoulder.
And then after you’ve got through the initial pain/confusion/sorrow, then comes anger.
Anger that they can’t even be bothered to tell you what you did wrong. Or, to explain what made them upset and react in such a dramatic way.
And why aren’t they breaking the silence and explaining themselves?
It’s because they don’t respect you. Put simply, they don’t care about you or your feelings.
Now, on the flip side, when you’re highly respected by people around you, no one leaves you hanging.
You send a message? You’ll get a reply.
You have a fight with your partner? They’ll talk things through, heck, they’ll even argue with you, but they won’t do you the disservice of ignoring you point-blank.
Again this links back to what I mentioned earlier – when people respect you, they also respect your time. They’re not going to leave you waiting to hear from them.
But they also respect your emotions. Even if ignoring you after an argument is an easy option, they recognize that you don’t deserve that.
12) They own up when they’ve messed up
We all make mistakes. It’s human nature.
And although we all know it’s normal, for some reason, a lot of us like to try and cover up our blunders rather than own up to them.
Until we meet someone we respect so much that we can’t hide the truth from them. For me, that started at school (I admit I pushed the boundaries with my parents!). I loved and respected my teachers, and if I did something wrong, I was the first to admit it.
But there was a reason for that.
I knew my teacher wouldn’t overreact. I knew they’d listen, assess the situation, and deal with me fairly. I knew they wouldn’t hold my mistakes against me.
Put simply, they earned my respect. And I repaid them with my honesty.
So if you notice that people are so honest with you that they even fess up to their own misdoings, there’s a good chance they hold you in high esteem. In other words, you’ve earned their respect.
13) If you need a favor, it gets done
Are your friends and family ready to drop things at a moment’s notice to come to help you out?
Is your boss flexible with your work to accommodate your needs?
Does your partner follow through when they make a promise?
If so, you don’t need to worry about gaining people’s respect. You just have to focus on keeping it!
Here’s the thing:
When people respect you, they tend to be a whole lot more consistent.
Here’s an example; say you’ve got two neighbors, one you respect, and one you’re merely civil with.
If both ask for a favor, there’s only one of them you’re going to really commit to. Sure, you might still honor your commitment to the other, but you probably won’t go above and beyond for them.
But when you respect someone, you go the extra mile. You keep your word. Ultimately, you don’t want to appear irresponsible or lazy in front of them.
So the next time someone follows through on a favor for you, no matter how small or insignificant, know that it’s a sign of respect.
14) People don’t try to manipulate you
When people respect you, they’re not out to treat you unfairly.
If they respect your boundaries, they’ll respect you when you say no. And instead of trying to convince you otherwise with unhealthy tactics like manipulation, they’ll accept that you mean what you say.
And this is a common theme. Look at victims of abuse. Do their perpetrators respect them?
Not in the slightest.
When someone hurls swear words at their partner are they respecting them? When a narcissistic parent guilt trips their child, are they treating them respectfully and with love?
No. Where there’s abuse, there’s no respect.
So if the people around you treat you well, and never even toe the line of manipulation, you know they have nothing but respect and consideration for you!
15) People don’t judge you
Being truly respected means people accept you even with all your weird and wonderful quirks.
Even if they don’t necessarily love your sense of style, or the car you drive, or where you choose to spend your weekends, if they respect you as a person, they’re not going to judge you.
This is because true respect comes from admiring and appreciating your inner qualities.
People respect those who are:
- Live life with integrity
- Respectful towards others
So if you have most of these qualities, and people do genuinely respect you, they won’t care about external factors.
The color of your hair or how many piercings you have become irrelevant in the face of being a decent human being. One who’s worthy of being respected.
If most of these points above resonated with you – congratulations!
You’re officially respected by the people around you. You’ve got their admiration, you know they trust you, and your relationships are probably prospering as a result.
But even though you’ve done the hard work and earned their respect, you can’t sit back and relax now.
Respect isn’t given permanently. People respect you because you uphold your morals and values and you treat them kindly and fairly.
If you stop, they’ll stop.
So now you know you’ve got their respect, the next challenge is keeping it!
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,