Louise Jackson
For years whenever I’ve dated someone new or made new friends I have openly told them:
“I’m a boring person”.
I’ve been perfectly happy to wear this label.
But that’s probably because deep down, I know I’m not really boring.
I just don’t always want to do the things that other people do.
Things that a lot of people find fun I have very little interest in.
But the reality is that when you are bright and interested in the world you’re never boring.
So without further adieu, here are the clear signs you’re not boring, you’re just a deep thinker.
1) You love doing nothing
True story:
Last week I only left my house once.
Rather than drive me crazy, I find peace and stillness in simply pottering around at home.
I can quite easily sit and just stare into thin air and be with my thoughts.
I don’t get bored. I find doing very little quite stimulating.
In fact, I think you often notice more that way.
Maybe you too quite enjoy doing nothing.
To others, that can seem very boring or even lazy.
But it’s just that you don’t feel the need to cram every moment of your day with activity.
And want to know something pretty cool?
Not only does this not make you boring, but research also suggests it can be a strong sign of intelligence.
Why?
Studies have found that brainy people spend more time doing nothing than most.
The irony is that they can do so because they don’t get so easily bored. They spend more time in thought than others.
Active people on the other hand might need to do more to stimulate their minds with outside activities.
2) You don’t make important decisions on a whim
It’s not that I’m incapable of being spontaneous or impulsive, I certainly am.
In fact, ten years ago I quit my steady job as a BBC broadcast journalist and embarked on a nomadic journey around the world that lasted for years.
But when you’re a deep thinker, you tend to consider the implications of your decisions.
Not only how it may affect you, but also others.
Being oblivious just isn’t an option for you. Your thoughts come flooding in.
That may mean you aren’t so quick to blindly say yes to every plan, idea, or suggestion (whether it’s your own or someone else’s).
You’d rather step back and think about it first.
Whilst to others this caution may be seen as boring, it is in fact responsible.
Because when you are a deep thinker, you think about consequences.
For example, at the moment I’m contemplating getting a dog.
I’ve long thought about having a pet but I knew that for many years my lifestyle wasn’t right.
Things have since changed and now it’s something I’m really considering.
Yet I’m not rushing into it. I’m going to wait and see how I feel over the next few months and even read up on dog ownership to try to learn more before making a commitment.
I know that it’s a big deal to take care of another living thing. I take it seriously.
Deep thinkers don’t skip over the details. That means they can seem more hesitant.
But as they say, ‘only fools rush in’, right?
3) You have your quirks but that’s what makes you interesting
We can quickly label someone boring when they don’t fit in with the crowd.
Having unique interests might make you stand out.
Society can have some very narrowly defined ideas of what is fun.
For example, parties are “fun”, always being on the go is “fun”, and saying yes to things makes you “fun”.
But surely what is fun and what is boring rests upon what you as an individual find stimulating.
Personally, I think these differences are exactly what makes someone interesting.
In many ways, the norm is pretty damn boring.
But of course, society doesn’t always see it that way.
So character traits, interests, and hobbies that make you quirky can be quickly labeled as boring simply if they are not valued or done by the masses.
Hobbies of a deep thinker may be more inclined to focus inwards rather than outwards. For example, reading, art, meditation, crosswords, etc.
In a world built for extroverts, that can seem dull to some.
4) You’re happy alone
Another one for the pre-prescribed “fun list” is socializing.
We tend to think of the most fun people as popular and always hanging out with others.
Whereas boring types are loners who are always alone.
It’s yet another stereotype that simply isn’t true.
A lot of deep thinkers aren’t comfortable spending too much with others. But that doesn’t mean you’re boring.
Every introvert knows that flying solo is just how you recharge.
Deep thinkers who need their alone time simply gain and lose energy in a different way than extroverts.
But people who spend a lot of time alone can still get labeled as reclusive.
Or they are told they are boring for not always wanting to join in.
But it’s none of those things.
It’s simply that they are perfectly happy being alone and need their space.
5) You’re curious
Perhaps one of the greatest gifts of a deep thinker is their curiosity.
And this is what guarantees they can never be boring.
Because how can you be boring when the world around you fascinates you?
When there are countless ideas to consider, and numerous subjects to explore.
In fact, deep thinkers often find even the most obscure topics truly engaging.
Curiosity is one of the most fundamental building blocks of evolution and the mark of intelligence.
As Albert Einstein famously said:
“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”
Because the more curious you are, the more you want to expand, learn and grow.
People who close their minds off to the world around them are boring. And deep thinkers can never be accused of that.
6) You appreciate deep conversations
Have you ever felt lacking in certain social skills?
For example, perhaps you think you suck at small talk (me too!).
Or maybe you find it hard to fake interest in certain topics of conversations that other people seem to enjoy — for example celebrity news or sports.
Deep thinkers also prefer deep conversations.
And to some people, that can seem too heavy.
You spend a lot of time contemplating the big issues — life, love, and the universe.
So to you, it’s no big deal discussing these things too.
In fact, why wouldn’t you? Why waste time talking about meaningless things when there is so much more to life?
Topics that deep thinkers find vital — politics, science, philosophy, and more — are boring to some people, even though they are truly fascinating to others.
7) You avoid crowds and noisy places
Deep thinkers might find themselves more prone to sensory overload.
I personally hate loud clubs and bars, not because I’m boring, but because all that noise creates genuine stress in my body.
When you aren’t sensitive to stimulation, you may not really understand it.
As explained in Medical News Today:
“Everyone experiences sensory overload at some point in their lives. Some children and adults, however, experience it regularly. For these individuals, everyday situations can be challenging.
“For them, going to the school or office cafeteria can lead to sensory overload. The sounds of people talking loudly, strong smells of food, and flickering fluorescent lights can all trigger feelings of being overwhelmed and uncomfortable.”
Deep thinkers may prefer peace and quiet.
Not because they are boring, but simply because the world around them can feel over-stimulating at times for their senses.
8) You don’t consider yourself to be carefree
I work hard to regulate my emotions and calm my body and mind.
I use tools like meditation, journaling, exercise, getting enough sleep, and being mindful of my self-talk to help me.
So I’d say I was optimistic and try to have a positive and grateful approach to life.
But I certainly wouldn’t say I’m carefree. And definitely not naturally carefree.
In fact, naturally, I’m more of a worrier who is prone to stress and anxiety.
Not always being happy-go-lucky certainly doesn’t make you boring. It can just go hand in hand with being a deep thinker.
Thinking can come at a cost, and that cost can be overthinking or ruminating at times.
With the depth of being a big thinker can come certain mental health risks. When you think about it, it makes sense.
It’s true to a certain extent what they say:
Ignorance is bliss.
Deep thinkers go delving into the depth of the human experiences and all the emotions as well as thoughts that come along with that.
That’s not always going to feel light or easy going.
To conclude: There is no such thing as boring
Boring is a way that we judge and minimize others. Whether it’s their personality traits or their interests.
But in reality, boring doesn’t exist.
Because we’re all different and what is boring to one person is not to another.
Deep thinkers just so happen to prefer many of the things that society once upon a time decided were boring.
They might be the more low-key or inward-looking pursuits and habits.
But it’s important for us all to remember:
At the end of the day, nobody gets to decide what is fun but you.
