12 signs you’re not antisocial, you just take time to open up to new people

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

If you’re a reserved person, you may sometimes be mistaken as unfriendly or antisocial. 

But inside you know that’s not the case. 

You just take time to warm up to new people, and you open yourself up more slowly than some. 

Here are the signs that you’re not antisocial, you just take time to acclimatize to new people. 

1) You like smaller get-togethers

You’re not a big fan of large groups of people and big concerts or busy places aren’t really your cup of tea. 

You prefer smaller gatherings or one-on-one interactions rather than large crowds.

You like things more intimate and low-key. 

This can sometimes appear to people that you’re closed off to “fun times,” but it’s not that: it’s just that you prefer a smaller-scale, low-key version of fun times.

2) You’re perfectly OK with silence

Many of us have experienced situations where silences can be awkward or uncomfortable. 

But you find that no conversation doesn’t usually bother you. 

You’re comfortable with silence, not feeling the need to fill every moment with conversation.

This can strike some people as you being antisocial, but you really don’t mean it that way, it’s just that silence is fine with you and you don’t find it awkward. 

3) You prefer to listen than to talk

You generally find it more interesting to listen to others than to speak

This is especially true when you first meet somebody and want to get to know them. 

You aren’t the type to just jump into a conversation and start offering your ideas and feelings to others. You’d rather wait it out a bit. 

You prefer to observe and understand others before actively participating in conversations, although you do like to often ask questions to find out more about what somebody means. 

As Jennifer Herrity writes

“While you should give the speaker a chance to share their message without interruption, effective listening includes maintaining your curiosity and staying open-minded.”

4) You put a lot of thought into your responses

Asking questions and engaging more with somebody is something you like to do. 

But you don’t jump right into it. 

You feel out an interaction first and get to know somebody a bit before getting too deep or invested in whatever they’re speaking about or doing. 

You respond when you want to, not just for the sake of being polite. 

You take your time to respond during conversations, preferring to think before speaking.

5) You’re a perceptive observer

You often notice details about people and their surroundings that most miss, and you have a creative side a mile wide. 

You’re always engaged even if you’re not actively participating, and you’re picking up on details and subtleties. 

You may come across as detached or indifferent, but you’re really looking at everything going on in the background, even if you’re just not visibly reacting. 

Which brings up my next point… 

6) You don’t show a lot of emotion on the surface

You tend to have a reserved or quiet demeanor and not show much emotion on the surface. 

However this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re disinterested even if it sometimes comes across as aloof.

You just don’t usually display how you’re feeling for the whole world to see and have a high degree of emotional control: 

Inside you may be feeling quite down or very happy, but you have a high amount of Zen composure on the outside. 

7) You’re self-reflective and introspective

Solitude and loneliness are two different things, and being alone is a blessing for you. 

You enjoy your time on your own and especially out in nature where you can reflect on life, love and whatever else is on your mind. 

You find being alone is a clarifying and happy time.  

You enjoy spending time alone to reflect on your thoughts and feelings.

8) You like deeper conversations and topics

When you do open up, you prefer meaningful conversations rather than small talk.

You like to talk about things that are profound and mean a lot to you and others. 

This isn’t you being antisocial, in other words, it’s you being selectively social. 

When something engages you, then you get very interested, but otherwise you’re not necessarily all that invested. 

9) You’re a loyal and genuine friend

Once you’ve established trust, you’re a highly loyal and supportive friend

You take your time to open up to people, but once you do it’s for real and it lasts. 

You’re authentic and genuine, sharing your true thoughts and emotions.

You prize quality over quantity and although you may have a smaller amount of friends, those you do have tend to be close friends you can talk to about anything, and vice versa.  

10) You’re wary of trusting the wrong people

You may have been burned before in love or friendship, and you’re a bit cautious. 

There’s nothing wrong with that, and it can actually be highly advisable. 

You don’t want to get cheated or treated poorly by somebody again, so you take your time in who you trust and why. 

This may come off as antisocial to some, but those who are worth the time will stick with you and see the friendship through. 

11) It takes time for you to build trust

You prioritize building trust before opening up fully to new people.

This relates to the previous point, in that you are cautious about trusting somebody new because of past bad experiences. 

You build trust up step by step and month by month, not all at once. 

Those who are less patient and like to jump straight into new friendships and relationships right away may have trouble understanding and respecting this, but it’s just the way you roll. 

As Dr. Helen Miles explains

“We make ourselves vulnerable when we enter a relationship with another person, whether this relationship is personal or professional as we reveal a part of ourselves to another.”

Which brings me to the next point… 

12) You disclose things gradually

You open up about yourself bit by bit, not all at once. 

You only let a few folks into your inner sanctum where you open up about your deeper thoughts and feelings. 

When it comes to your background and what’s made you into you, it’s a process of letting somebody in. 

It doesn’t happen all at once. You gradually disclose personal information as trust is built, rather than sharing everything upfront.

Moving at your own pace

There’s nothing wrong with taking time to warm up to new people and open up to them. 

In fact, it can be a definite advantage. 

You find those who are patient and sincere and weed them out from the superficial and temporary connections that wouldn’t really bring value to your life in any case. 

Moving at your own pace and owning your unique way of opening up to people is a power move that will lead to deep relationships and genuine connections. 

People who are quiet on the surface but highly intelligent underneath often display these 9 subtle behaviors

9 ways to get over a broken heart quickly, according to psychology