Paul Brian
Do you think you’re beautiful or handsome?
If you asked me I would say “so so.”
But the fact of the matter is that many of us are more attractive than we think we are and are held back by low self-esteem and self-image.
Here’s how to tell if you’re hot stuff and don’t even realize it…
1) You make an impression
One of the undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is that you make an impression.
When you walk in a room, people notice, and I mean that in a good way.
Heads turn, eyebrows get raised and legs get crossed.
If you cause a ripple in the pond and you aren’t quite sure why, it could be because you’re physically attractive.
So how can you really know if you’ve made an impression due to your looks or for some other reason?
I’d recommend that you continue reading this list and see if you’re also noticing other signs on here.
Because if you are, then the impression you make with new people may very well be due to your physical beauty.
2) You get frequent compliments about your looks
Getting compliments feels very nice, and when you get a lot of compliments about your looks, there’s usually something to it.
Some of us may have been raised to believe we’re not very good-looking.
In my case I was bullied as a kid and preteen, leading to self-image issues and believing I wasn’t handsome for many years.
I only came to understand that many people find me good-looking after I realized the amount of compliments I got from very different people on a regular basis.
I’m not talking about patronizing sympathy compliments…
I mean spontaneous compliments, especially people explaining why they find you attractive.
Eventually, if you’re getting a lot of compliments about your appearance there’s really only two main options:
- There’s a grand conspiracy to lie to you about your looks and pretend to find you attractive
- Or, a large amount of people genuinely find you handsome or beautiful and remark on it
3) You are frequently propositioned
Next up, let’s get into the way people interact with you and approach you.
Admittedly, this is going to vary a lot based on culture and gender norms in your culture.
Generally speaking, if you are a woman you may be propositioned and approached more than if you are a man.
However, generally speaking, if people are trying to get your attention and asking you out on dates a lot, it’s because they find you attractive.
If you’re being asked for social media contact information by people who make excuses to make conversation with you, then you can be sure they find your face nice to look at.
Let’s face it:
You could be in the most liberal or conservative culture on earth, but either way, if you’re attractive or perceived as attractive in some form then people are going to want to date you, sleep with you or marry you.
So if you find that this kind of attention is coming your way, you may be much more attractive than you realize.
4) Eye contact from strangers is off the charts
Another of the important and undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is that strangers make a lot of eye contact with you.
When we see something we like, fear or find interesting, we look at it.
If you’re getting a lot of eye contact from strangers, they’re either fascinated by you, attracted by you or scared of you (or maybe a mix of all three!)
When you’re on public transport, walking down the street, meeting new people or interacting with someone at the bank, do you find that you’re getting a lot of eye contact?
There’s a very good chance that it’s because you’re more physically appealing than you realize.
5) Jealous folks give you the evil eye
On the flipside, one of the biggest undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is that you experience a lot of jealousy and aren’t sure why.
If you’re in an executive position or very wealthy, then the jealousy may be traceable to that.
But especially if you’re finding that jealous people keep coming up in your life for no apparent reason, it can be due to your looks.
Being jealous of someone’s physical beauty is the oldest story in the book.
Looks aren’t easy to change, which is part of why those who may not be as good-looking or at least not believe they are may feel intense envy.
Do you find that you’re running into jealousy a lot? It’s a sign that you’re better looking than you realize.
6) People go out of their way to help you
Another of the undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is that people go out of their way to help you.
You may just be around a group of very friendly or helpful people, but unless you notice folks helping everyone else out as well then you have to conclude it’s specific to you.
If guys are going the extra mile to carry your bags, open doors for you, help you with directions or do you favors, it’s likely because you’re more attractive than you realize.
If you find that nice women are going out of their way to help you when you need a hand it’s also likely related to you being good-looking.
7) People get tripped up and clumsy around you
One of the signs you’re hotter stuff than you may realize is that people get clumsy around you.
They drop things, trip, get confused about where they are and things like that.
Clumsiness is something that exponentially increases with being nervous…
If people are often feeling nervous around you it’s often because your looks are getting to them.
Which brings me to the next point…
8) People stumble over their words around you
Think about the last time you met a very beautiful individual who you found attractive…
If you’re like me, then one of the things which happened is that you began stumbling over your words and feeling anxious about what to say.
This is one of the most undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think:
Other people end up mumbling, stammering and stuttering around you for no apparent reason.
I’m talking about people with no speech impediment who seem fine talking to others.
But when they turn to you they stutter or stumble over their words.
What’s up? Your face seems to be distracting them…
9) Folks blush and get flustered around you
Next up in the undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is what you notice of people’s behavior around you.
Do they blush, get flustered or bat their eyes at you a lot as if almost embarrassed?
This is common behavior that people display when they find you attractive.
If it’s happening to you a lot, there’s a good chance that it’s because people are getting turned on by you and then becoming embarrassed.
10) You get praised for one specific physical characteristic
Another of the top undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is that you get praised for one specific physical characteristic.
For example, people are always saying you have an incredible smile, a beautiful body or lovely arms.
Maybe you get complimented a lot on your nose, or eyebrows.
In my case I often get complimented on my eyelashes and told by women that they envy them and that women use lots of makeup but still don’t get as nicely as mine are naturally.
Variations of this compliment have come from enough different women in different contexts and without me even mentioning it at all, that I have to assume it is based on real admiration.
I personally never thought there was anything special about my eyelashes.
But compliments from women have convinced me that I am on fire, at least in the eyelash department.
11) People give you the benefit of the doubt
Another of the undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is that people often give you the benefit of the doubt when they don’t do the same for others.
The cliche about this is of a beautiful woman getting off from a speeding ticket by batting her eyes at the police officer who stops her.
There’s some grain of truth to this.
How do I know? I’ve literally seen it happen while out with a female friend who was stopped by a cop.
She sweet talked him a little and flashed a smile and the guy kind of winked and said no problem.
A lot of these stereotypes have roots in the truth, which is why they become kind of urban legends and jokes.
The truth is that good-looking people do get treated, on average, better than people who are not good-looking.
Does this speak to the shallowness of humanity? Perhaps. But it’s an observable phenomenon.
As Allana Akhtar and Drake Baer explain for Business Insider:
“Studies show that you’re more likely to get hired if you look well-groomed, that good-looking people make about 12% more money than less appealing folks, and that attractive real-estate brokers bring in more money than their less attractive peers.”
12) You are asked if you model or would like to model
More of the undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think?
People ask if you’re a model or suggest you should try modeling.
Now obviously being a model isn’t always synonymous with being classically attractive.
In fact, some of the most successful models – especially in recent times – have gained a following due to their unique or even strange-looking appearance.
But nonetheless, you don’t get asked to model people’s designer clothes and walk the runway if you’re a hunk of muck.
If you’ve been asked to model or are often asked if you have modeled, it’s because you’re hotter than you realize.
13) Potential mates treat you as a sex object
Being attractive isn’t always good. I know that sounds like a cop-out, but I can’t count how many people I know who’ve been judged on their appearance rather than the content of their character.
This is obviously especially true of attractive women, but it also goes for guys.
One of the striking and undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is that you’re often treated as a sex object.
The “real you” under the handsome face, sexy body or beautiful curves is seen as kind of an afterthought.
You may experience a lot of disappointment and frustration in dating because you never quite know how sincere suitors are.
Just like a rich individual often has a worry whether potential mates are into him or her for financial gain, the attractive individual can often be left wondering if a partner is ultimately mainly into them for their looks.
This leads directly into the next point…
14) You’re sometimes judged as shallower than you are based on appearance
One of the undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is that you’re sometimes judged as shallow for no apparent reason.
It’s like somebody assuming a cool-looking dude is a surfer or that you’re academic and nerdy because you dress formally and wear glasses.
Except in this case you’re being judged as basically a boy toy or a sexy plaything based on your looks.
While you may be deeply into biology or studying ancient civilizations and the evolution of theism, you meet people who laugh at you when you try to talk about serious subjects.
“Yeah, cool. So did you go to the beach today?”
It always goes back to this image others have of you and how you must live your life based on your good looks.
“Well, dating sure is hard, yeah. But I guess it’s easy for you.”
Implication? Your good looks must make it easy to have your pick of any guy or girl you want.
If only they knew how little looks actually matter in finding and keeping love…
15) You get flooded with likes on social media and dating apps
Another of the undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think is that you get a lot of attention online.
When you go on dating apps you get likes by the second, and when you post something on social media you end up receiving lots of attention (unwanted and wanted).
There are a lot of strange people out there including ones who spend way too much on social media, so I’m not saying to take it all too seriously.
Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean it all is meaningless.
If you’re getting boatloads of likes every time you post a simple selfie then you just might be a little hotter than you realize.
Here’s the thing about being attractive…
How much of beauty is objective, and how much is cultural?
In my view, there are objective measures of physical beauty within a given culture, and things like the Golden Ratio can help us develop ideas about what is widely attractive or not.
Yet at the same time I recognize that each individual has different attraction triggers and tastes, and this is exactly how nature intended it.
The fact of the matter is that being attractive has one principal meaning:
It means someone, somewhere is attracted to you.
Now, if one person is attracted to you then you’re at least attractive to them. If many are attracted to you, then you’d be widely considered “more attractive.”
You may have a unique beauty that only appeals to a precious few.
Or you may have a popular beauty that leads to all sorts of attention and sexual and romantic interest that you might not even like.
Beauty is important, and it goes a long way for our self-esteem and self-image, but it’s far from the only thing about what makes us who we are or determines how attractive we are.
“Over the years, “beauty” has grown into quite a divisive topic – with some using the term in genuine expressions of admiration, and others wielding it as a metric for elitism…
…Beauty can lie in the person’s physical appearance, or who they are – their spirit or soul.
Some people may become attracted by merely gazing upon another human being whose physical features appeal to the onlooker’s standards.
Others may have to spend time with someone before they can confidently declare that they are indeed attracted to them.”
Beauty doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve won the universal lottery.
While it’s great to realize you’re attractive, there are also some disadvantages and judgments that can come along with it.
Beauty may get you to buy a product or sleep with someone, but in some cases it could even be seen as a danger signal increasing the chances your wife or husband will cheat on you.
What if you’re ugly?
The above are undeniable signs you’re more attractive than you think.
Many of us were raised to believe we’re not that good-looking or absorbed negative beliefs about ourselves that are hard to get rid of.
But if you’re now coming to terms with the fact that you may be among God’s most beautiful creatures, what do you do next?
And after all, what does it really mean at the most fundamental level to be attractive?
Furthermore, what if you’ve come to the opposite conclusion and decided you’re actually not that good-looking.
What if you’ve decided that your face, body weight and other factors put you in the rank of those who are not as appealing to others?
Being beautiful is nice, but what about the opposite?
Indeed, if you’re not “good-looking” or “beautiful” by the standards of your culture, then you may be feeling quite down.
What if you’re not only not more attractive than you think, but say even less attractive than you think?
Well I have some reasonably good news…
Even if you are certain you are objectively ugly or just as unattractive as you think, it’s not the end of the line, nor does it mean others won’t find you attractive.
At the end of the day, remember to believe in yourself.
Your unique personal style and beauty is important and more people appreciate you than you realize!
The truth about beauty
I believe physical beauty matters and standards of beauty are not purely subjective.
At the same time, somebody’s attraction to you is not a matter of ratios and scientific formulas.
Genetics play a part, as do cultural ideas of beauty, sexual customs and all sorts of other things.
There may be pheromones and all sorts of factors involved that are purely scientific, but attraction is ultimately unique and unpredictable.
It can be partly situational as well.
You may be the most attractive person somebody has ever seen when they’re divorced in their 40s and have retired from a job running an investment bank…
But ten years previously they barely noticed you when they found you plain or you weren’t the “type” they thought they were looking for.
Tastes and perceptions change, and your attractiveness is not always a changeless, solid commodity.
Your beauty may emerge during a specific time or situation and fade or become lost in another time or situation.
As American philosopher Crispin Sartwell puts it:
“Beauty is a form of connection to a particular thing or event, and it is of all experiences most attentive to the details of things, the differences among things, the real externality and the real connection and the real profuse character of real things.”
To translate this into plainspeak, Sartwell is basically saying that beauty can’t be generalized about.
Beauty is unique, ephemeral, and in each unique moment it is about far more than just the physical.
Being physically beautiful is wonderful, and realizing you’re more attractive than you think can be a great discovery.
Just remember to chase a beauty that’s more than skin deep and to expect the same in return.
