Not everyone is equally loyal.
When it comes to romantic relationships, you want to know you’re with someone you can trust.
Here’s how to tell…
1) They delete their apps
First up in the signs you’re in a relationship with a truly loyal person is that they delete their apps.
This may sound trivial, but it’s very important.
Tinder, Bumble, you name it.
Many people will get into a new relationship but keep these apps hanging around.
Maybe they had a couple chat friends they wanted to see where things went. Maybe they just like to keep their options open.
But if you’re in a relationship that entails exclusivity, which means those apps should be getting deleted.
At the same time this can be hard to tell or not unless the subject comes up.
Don’t ask if your partner has deleted dating apps unless they bring up the subject as well.
2) They communicate with you
Next up in the key signs you want to look out for is the level of communication.
Even if they are more reserved, a loyal partner will open up to you and communicate.
He or she will be interested in chatting with you and talking about what they feel in the relationship and what they think and see in life.
Conversation is often a very solid basis of seeing how a relationship will go, although it’s about the depth of what you talk about rather than just how much.
A loyal partner will let you see who they really are on the inside and open up and communicate with you in a real way.
Which leads me to the next point in the top signs you’re in a relationship with a truly loyal person…
3) They show their emotions
A truly loyal partner won’t be afraid to show their emotions and open up to you about how they feel.
They’ll be willing to tell you the truth even about things you might not want to hear.
For example, maybe they’re not doing well lately or maybe they have been in touch with an ex-partner who has them feeling confused and upset.
They’ll keep you abreast of that because in a relationship they expect the same kind of emotional openness from you as well.
The emotionally sincere partner will never use their emotions to manipulate or gaslight you.
They will not expect you to be responsible or answer for their emotions.
They will simply be honest and share how they feel with you, rather than putting that as a burden or expectation on you.
4) They admit their doubts
Part of being open with you is that a loyal person will admit their doubts.
This means doubts of all kinds:
Their doubts about themselves, about their job, about the relationship, about you.
Maybe even their doubts about what to do next in life, where to move, their finances or more practical matters.
Far from being destabilizing, this kind of radical honesty in a relationship can actually strengthen it.
By putting everything on the table they ask that you also rise to a higher level and make it clear that they are also willing to talk about the tough stuff.
Doubt can sabotage many relationships, so coming right out with it and being honest is a definite power move.
5) They open up about the past
Part of this radical honesty that a loyal partner brings to the table is opening up about their past.
Now they may not want to go into detail about that abusive ex who caused them to get PTSD.
But at the very least they’re going to acknowledge it and talk about what they can.
The truly loyal person is not looking to hide any part of themselves because they want to be loved for who they really are, not an idealized version you may have of them.
They expect the same from your end:
An honest look at your past when possible and how you succeeded or failed to live up to certain difficult moments and experiences that came your way, whether in relationships or any other area.
6) They keep you updated on what they’re up to
Part of opening up to you and being communicative for a loyal person is letting you know what they’re up to.
We all know the horror stories from possessive relationships where one person expects to see where their partner is at all times or get constant text updates.
This is not that, not at all.
Instead, the loyal individual voluntarily chooses to share what they’re up to with their partner.
This may be going to visit their sister or staying home because they feel under the weather.
It may be heading out of town on a business trip or planning to go out with friends to a get-together on the weekend.
The loyal person isn’t going to text just because they’re going to the store to grab a jug of milk.
This isn’t about worrying their partner doesn’t trust them or needs to always know where they are:
Instead, it’s the loyal person’s voluntary way of staying connected to you even when they’re busy doing something away from you.
7) They take it easy on social media
The next of the signs you’re in a relationship with a truly loyal person is that they take it easy on social media.
This may be controversial to write, and I know some couples embrace their “couple role” online, but social media can be really corrosive to relationships.
The online hunt for likes and clout can really get in the way of that one-on-one connection.
What’s worse is that sexual interest and romantic attention from people online can eventually lead to flirtation and cheating.
This is obvious, of course.
But the catch is that online flirting and attention-seeking seems so harmless at the time that people engage in it even though it can snowball so much faster than we expect into something that breaks apart a relationship.
The truly loyal person understands this and takes it easy on social media.
He or she may post statuses or photos, but they don’t do so very frequently, and they take it easy on very sexualized or flirtatious imagery and posts.
8) They give you the benefit of the doubt
The next of the ideal things about dating a truly loyal person is that they give you the benefit of the doubt.
From their perspective, people are motivated by good intentions in most cases.
They see the world through the lens of how they would act and do act.
As a result, loyal partners tend to not be very jealous or controlling.
As a loyal individual who expects respect and trust, they are only with you because they already feel sure they can expect that from you.
If not they would have already hit the road.
This means they are able to relax some of the more controlling and possessive behaviors that sometimes manifest in toxic relationships.
To say this is a big load off the shoulders is an underestimate.
9) They talk about the future with you
Next up in the signs you’re in a relationship with a truly loyal person is that they aren’t scared of talking about the future with you.
This is not to say they’ll make promises they don’t mean.
But they will be perfectly fine considering the future of the relationship and where it might lead.
They aren’t trying to play any games or hedge their bets, and they are willing to think about the future.
This ties into the last of the signs…
10) They play for keeps or not at all
Lastly, you know you have a truly loyal partner when they play for keeps or not at all.
To be fair, it’s not always clear where a relationship is going right away, and love can take time.
But the truly loyal person doesn’t get into relationships half-way or just because they have nothing better to do or don’t want to be alone.
Considering how many people do exactly that, it’s certainly a refreshing change.
The truly loyal partner will stay in the relationship as long as he or she is really interested in seeing where it goes.
They will always be honest with you about what’s going on, and if they are losing interest or have met somebody else they will tell you.
True loyalty is ultimately about honesty, and it makes all the difference in whether love is able to bloom or not.
Loyalty is crucial
There’s no way to replace loyalty in a relationship.
If you have to watch over your partner’s shoulder, you’re betraying their trust and you’re undermining the basis of the love you have.
If you give your partner free reign and they cheat and misuse you, then you’re disrespecting yourself and setting yourself up for heartbreak.
Loyalty is a crucial ingredient in any successful relationship.
The only caveat is that it can’t be forced and it has to be voluntary loyalty motivated by genuine affection and love.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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