Adrian Volenik
We all like to be valued. But how can we really tell if we’re in a relationship with someone who truly appreciates us?
Luckily, there are many telltale signs that we can clearly notice once we know what we’re looking for.
Let’s dive right in and find out what they are.
1) They take pride in being in a relationship with you
If you’re in a relationship with a partner who really appreciates you, they will have immense pride in you and your relationship.
They will express their love and admiration for you openly and won’t hesitate to tell others how much you mean to them.
This is true for the period when your relationship is still in its early phase but also years or decades after.
They also stand up for your relationship and aren’t afraid to defend it if it’s ever questioned or criticized by others. They are proud of the bond you share and aren’t afraid to protect it.
Sound familiar?
2) They pay attention to what you say
Paying attention is a big issue in today’s world. You can see it all around you. Everyone is glued to their phones, even when driving, which makes me extremely mad.
We often have to fight for attention with smartphones and social media. Even our loved ones aren’t immune to not paying attention to us.
If your partner is giving you unfettered attention when you’re talking to them, count yourself lucky.
Let me share with you a little insight into my relationship. My spouse and I had our smartphone use under control until the war in Ukraine started.
This was a turning point when we simply couldn’t get off our phones for a good few months.
It wasn’t because we were directly affected. I mean, we live in Europe and have good friends from Ukraine that we’ve met in the meantime. But it was simply because we couldn’t believe this was happening in 2022 and were hungry for information.
Since then, it seems that we’ve somewhat lost control of screen time and must actively work on keeping it under control.
However, even these issues didn’t derail us from doing things together.
3) They prioritize spending quality time with you
Spending time, quality time is extremely important in a relationship, especially when you get kids and are busy in your daily life.
For us, leisure, shared activities, and drinking coffee together take priority over almost anything else. We find an hour or two every day to go for a walk, go to the beach, or sit down for a coffee.
This can be before work, at lunchtime, or in the evening. There are usually no ifs, buts, and maybes.
If your partner makes an effort to create shared experiences, engage in activities you enjoy, and strengthen the bond between you, you are one lucky person.
4) They take an interest in you
Does your partner show genuine interest in your thoughts, ideas, and experiences? Do they take an interest in your hobbies, passions, and pursuits?
Actively participating or at least supporting you in pursuing your interests, even if they don’t share the same enthusiasm, shouldn’t be too hard.
I mean, I’m not extremely interested in everything my partner does, but I love to support them and offer help if they need it in pursuing their passion projects.
I think there isn’t much to add here, so let’s move on to another important sign.
5) They accept you for who you are
A huge sign that your significant other appreciates and cherishes you is that they accept all your flaws and imperfections, even finding them cute.
If they embrace the qualities that make you unique and individual and have a non-judgmental attitude towards you, then they truly appreciate and love you.
I’d include not holding any grudges, too. We all make mistakes, and the sooner we realize that, the better.
However, accepting someone doesn’t mean we stay complacent. On the contrary, as you’ll see next.
6) They believe in you
Honestly appreciating someone also means strongly believing in them, at least in my book.
I love to proudly share my spouse’s accomplishments, boasting about their talents, skills, or personal qualities and highlighting the reasons I appreciate and admire them.
By encouraging you to do the things you’re good at lets you know they have your backs. They stand by your side during challenging times without judging or blaming you for the difficulties you face.
Offering words of encouragement, providing motivation, and believing in their abilities is the least we can do for our partners in life.
7) They regularly engage in thoughtful gestures
Another sign that shows you’re truly appreciated is when they surprise you with gestures that show they’ve been paying attention to your needs and desires.
This could be as simple as buying you your favorite sweets or flowers, or it could be a bit more elaborate, like buying tickets for your favorite band or musician, planning a date around your favorite activities, or surprising you with sweet notes, for example.
There are endless ways to show appreciation, but sometimes the smallest gestures take the cake and even make us break down in tears.
8) They are willing to apologize when they make mistakes
Sorry seems to be the hardest word isn’t just a song from Elton John. For some people, it’s a hill they are willing to die on.
They are always right and wouldn’t apologize to Jesus if he came down today.
If you’re in a relationship with someone that loves you and really appreciates you, you shouldn’t have these issues.
Apologizing when they make mistakes or have hurt you in any way and genuinely seeking forgiveness is something your partner hopefully does by default.
It also includes this next sign.
9) They show physical affection and intimacy
Physical affection and intimacy, such as hugging, holding hands, kissing, or cuddling, is an important part of any healthy relationship.
If your partner expresses their love and appreciation for you through physical touch, you know they legitimately appreciate you.
I’m not a big fan of public displays of affection. But if you’re comfortable showing affection towards them in public, and vice versa, don’t hesitate to do so. Holding hands, hugging, or kissing is a lovely way of showing appreciation and fondness.
On the other hand, if either of you are introverts or are uncomfortable with PDAs, don’t push it.
10) They enjoy sharing laughter with you
If there’s something I can’t live without, apart from my family, of course, it’s laughter. And I’m not talking about watching a sitcom by myself and laughing.
I’m talking about shared laughter that creates an uplifting and positive atmosphere within the relationship.
Having a good sense of humor and being able to find amusement in everyday situations is something we should all strive for.
Sharing inside jokes and memories creates a sense of exclusivity and intimacy, and laughing together reflects a sense of playfulness and spontaneity in your relationship, keeping it dynamic and fun.
11) They respect your boundaries
When you’re in a relationship and you live together, having personal space often takes the backseat to (many) other things. And once kids come into the picture, it’s often difficult to get some time for yourself for years to come.
A partner that appreciates you should understand the importance of personal space. They understand that everyone has their own boundaries and the need for personal space and time.
The partner should make a conscious effort to honor and uphold that, ensuring that you feel safe and comfortable in the relationship and not cramped or claustrophobic.
This next thing certainly helps with that.
12) They actively contribute
Chores. Almost no one likes doing them. They take up time, and they’re boring, but they’re also a fact of life.
Unless you have a housecleaner, chores should be divided as equally as possible. A healthy partnership involves equal effort and should strive for fairness. If that includes you mopping the floor, or scrubbing the toilet, so be it.
This brings us to this important last sign.
13) They resolve conflicts respectfully
All long-term relationships and marriages will include arguments, disagreements, and conflicts. Some of them smaller, other ones full-blown.
And I can tell you, it can get ugly.
Sleeping on the couch, days without speaking, backs turned on each other at night. Does that sound familiar to you?
If not, count yourself lucky. It means that you, your partner, or both are very good at resolving conflicts with respect and know how to fight in a healthy way.
Resolving conflicts respectfully and willingness to find a resolution is a skill that people that appreciate you should possess.
Final thoughts
I hope this article helped you to see where your relationship stands. If your partner appreciates you, that’s great. If they don’t, you need to see why and what can be done, if anything.
Additionally, see what signs show you have a deep emotional connection with your partner.
