Falling in love is one of the most exhilarating experiences in life. Your whole world changes as a result of interacting with one single person, and suddenly, you find yourself transforming, too.
So, where’s the catch?
Love blinds you. Well, maybe not love itself – more like the hope that this time, things will definitely work out. You’re holding on to that hope so tightly that you may be overlooking some red flags on purpose, letting yourself fall for someone who isn’t right for you.
But don’t you worry! You can absolutely tell if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s truly lovely. Here are the 11 signs.
1) Your partner feels like home
Do you remember that feeling when you were a child and played outside all day long? The moment you came home, ate dinner, and got into bed, the exhaustion set in.
What a day. With your eyes closed, you began to drift off. Everything was…right. You felt safe to fall asleep. You knew there were people to take care of you, comfy blankets to keep you warm, and breakfast waiting for you in the morning.
That’s exactly what a truly lovely partner makes you feel like. Every time you’re with them, you’re overcome by a comfortable feeling of safety and warmth.
After years of searching, you’ve finally arrived home.
2) Your relationship isn’t high-maintenance
One of the reasons you feel so comfortable when your significant other is around is that things are just so… easy.
Don’t get me wrong, every relationship has its issues. Perfection doesn’t exist. And sometimes, you’ve got to work hard to keep yourselves from floating apart.
But the relationship doesn’t feel overwhelming. On the contrary, it brings much more positives than negatives into your life, helping you thrive and grow as a person.
You don’t fight about petty stuff. You don’t dredge up things from three years ago. There’s not a new issue every two days.
What you two have feels stable. It feels good. It feels sustainable.
3) There is a foundation of trust and respect
And do you know what else is stable?
Your trust in each other. When you’re dating a truly lovely person, there’s no jealous scenes or snooping through each other’s phones or questions that feel like an interrogation.
A good partner decides to trust you and does not stop unless you give them a clear reason. They abide by the “innocent until proven guilty” rule, giving you the benefit of the doubt.
And that’s because they respect you.
I’ve seen so many relationships fall apart because of a lack of respect – boundaries were crossed, contempt set in, emotions were invalidated, and disagreements escalated into insults.
A truly lovely partner isn’t like that. They will always treat you with respect and trust.
4) Your interests are never compromised
A huge sign of respect is the fact that even when a new partner enters your life, you can keep on devoting your time to all your interests and hobbies.
One of my friends once told me, “I used to work out all the time. But then my girlfriend kept asking me to spend every day with her, so I kind of stopped and never got back into it.”
It’s a tragedy when the one person who should support you most is at the core of your stagnation.
But if you’re in a relationship with a genuinely good person, you don’t have to worry about that. You can keep pursing your interests all you like.
5) You feel supported
Not only that, but your partner will also actively support you in doing what you love.
I’m not saying they need to join your crochet club or really get into geology just to connect with you (plus, you might want to keep some parts of your life to yourself), but asking questions and expressing their support is more than enough.
I’ve written a book. Everywhere we go, my partner tells people about my accomplishment, talking about how amazing I am.
I’m not going to lie – it feels great. Having this much support not only boosts my confidence but also encourages me to keep pursuing my craft.
6) You know you can open up and will be accepted
In the very first point, we talked about safety.
Let’s come back to that for a moment. Safety is so very crucial to the success of any relationship because it’s what prompts you to be vulnerable with each other, deepening your emotional connection.
And if you’re in a relationship with a lovely person, you don’t have a problem with that. You know that if you share some vulnerable information, you won’t be met with judgment and contempt.
Your partner accepts you in your entirety. Mistakes included.
7) You know you can rely on your significant other
Acceptance isn’t the only thing you can count on where your partner is concerned.
In fact, reliability is a common trait of people who have genuinely good intentions. They never mean to harm you or disappoint you, and so they’re very likely to keep their word and do their best to make you happy.
They’ll run errands for you, do house chores, and support you when you’re going through tough times.
They’ve got your back. And it’s the best feeling in the world.
8) Your partner shows an active interest in your life
Yet another thing you can rely on?
Their interest in you. A good partner will never get bored of you. They’ll ask you questions about your day – no matter how dull –, take you out on dates, look into the things you truly care about, and make sure to be there for all the important events.
They’re not with you just because it’s easy. They’re with you because they find your mind irresistible.
9) Your partner loves the world around them
You’re not the only one who’s irresistible to them, though.
And no, I’m not talking about other people. I’m talking about life itself.
A lovely person won’t bring you down. They’ll lift you up. They are endlessly optimistic, they see the beauty in the world, and they spread kindness everywhere they go.
When you’re with them, you feel like the world is a beautiful place despite all the cruelty.
10) You feel loved and appreciated
Expressing love can be tricky.
While some people are big on compliments and love letters, others just want to cuddle. Not to mention those who feel most loved when you do something for them, from washing the dishes to taking them out on a date.
But that’s what makes your partner so very special. They take the time to learn your love language and then they put the effort in, be it through dramatic confessions of love or through the small things in life.
11) The love between you is selfless
Before you go, take the time to think through your partner’s true intentions.
Is their love selfless? Are they willing to make compromises and the occasional sacrifice for the health of the relationship?
Do they expect something in return? Or are they freely giving you all they can because of how much they love you?
A truly lovely person doesn’t love express love just to get something back. Their motives aren’t selfish.
They only want the best for you.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7