10 signs you’re in a relationship with a truly kind person

We all have certain preferences when it comes to choosing a partner. Some of us may prioritize a sense of humor, while others might look for intelligence or ambition. 

But no matter how different we all are, there’s one quality we all look for in a partner: kindness. 

Kindness transcends cultural, societal, and personal differences. No matter what part of the world you come from, you want to connect with someone who understands  you and makes you feel loved, don’t you? 

Let’s check out 10 signs you’re in a relationship with a truly kind person. Hopefully, you are! 

1) They really listen and are empathetic

Let me ask you something: When you share your struggles with your partner, how do they respond? Do they listen and understand your perspective? When you need support, are they there for you? 

In my experience, the ability to listen and empathize is one of the hallmarks of a truly kind person. They have a knack for understanding and feeling what you’re going through. 

When you’re with them, you’ll feel comforted. For instance, on a day when you’re feeling low, they won’t just say, “I’m sorry,” and leave you alone with your sadness. 

No, they’ll think of ways to cheer you up, maybe treat you to some ice cream or take a short hike with you to lift up your spirits. Or, they can simply sit with you and hear you out. 

The point is, you definitely won’t feel alone.  

2) They are generous

Kindness and generosity go hand in hand. The people I’ve encountered who’ve embodied true kindness always had a generous spirit

This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re always showering you with gifts or favors (though they might). Their generosity is often more subtle, more profound.

You’ll see it in the way they make time for you, lend a listening ear when you need to vent, or their willingness to help even if it’s inconvenient for them. 

3) They are honest

Another sign that you’re in a relationship with a truly kind person is that you feel secure. You know that you can trust them because they’re honest

And believe me, that counts for a lot. I’ve been in a relationship where my partner cheated on me, and it really did a number on my mental health. 

You won’t have to worry about that if you’re with a truly kind person. And even in the small things, you can count on them to tell you the truth, in a way that’s wrapped in respect and sensitivity. 

If they think you’re wrong, they’ll tell you, but they’ll do it in a way that doesn’t belittle or hurt you.

Their honesty springs from a place of love and concern, not from a desire to put you down. Remember this – a truly kind person will always root for your growth. 

Which leads me to my next point…

4) They celebrate your success

There’s nothing like the feeling of having someone who genuinely rejoices in your accomplishments, is it? That’s one of the biggest benefits of being in a relationship. But only if you’re with a truly kind person

You see, celebrating other people’s successes is something that comes naturally to kind people. They don’t take part in those comparison and competition games; they don’t have that need to be the better one in the relationship. 

A truly kind person sees their role as your teammate, which means that your win is theirs, too. 

And even when you mess up, that’s okay, because…

5) They are patient

Patience is indeed a virtue, and it’s one that kind-hearted people certainly possess. Their big hearts always leave room for people to grow, and that includes giving them time. 

So take note of how your partner deals with you when you aren’t at your best. And look at how they deal with life’s annoyances, too. 

Do they wait in line at stores quietly? Do they sit in traffic without losing their cool? Do they listen to you without interrupting? 

If the answer is yes to all of these, you’ve got a keeper! 

6) They are respectful of you – and everyone else

If they’re patient, it naturally follows that they’re respectful. That’s a core value for truly kind people. 

You know how some people are nice to you, but mean to waitstaff? Be careful, they’re probably only selectively kind. 

Because if they’re truly kind, they’d be respectful to everyone, not just you. Whether it’s a waiter or a CEO, the treatment is the same. 

It’s hard to find someone like that, so when you do, hold on to them. You’ll enjoy a loving relationship where you’ll never feel belittled. 

7) They know how to forgive

In any relationship, disagreements and mistakes are inevitable. But it’s how we handle these bumps that truly define us. 

Kind people, in my experience, are a cut above the rest because they have an exceptional capacity for forgiveness

As I mentioned earlier, they understand that we’re always a work in progress. That mindset is what gives them the ability to forgive and let go of grudges

However, don’t take it to mean that they’re doormats. Remember, they’re honest so they’ll still let you know how they feel.

The difference is, they won’t hold it over your head forever. Once they let it go, it’s gone. Bitterness doesn’t take root in their hearts because they’ll always choose to move forward with love and understanding. 

8) They choose to be kind over being right

Speaking of conflict, how does your partner handle it? Do they need to be the one with the last word? Do they uphold their side of an argument and fight to the bitter end? 

If they do, you might want to rethink if they’re truly kind. 

You see, when it comes to conflict, a truly kind person will, in the end, choose to be kind instead of pushing their point endlessly. 


Simply this: they value your connection and the well-being of your relationship more than they want to score points in an argument. 

In fact, they don’t believe in scoring points at all. For them, that attitude is damaging to a relationship. They know that “winning” an argument comes at a cost, and it’s not a cost they’re willing to pay. 

That doesn’t mean they’ll suppress what they think and feel, though. It just means they’ll express themselves respectfully and aim to come to a resolution that works for both of you. 

That way, you both win. Or rather, your relationship wins. 

9) They radiate positivity

Of course! I don’t know a single kind person who walks around with a cloud of doom and gloom over them like Eeyore. 

That’s just not the nature of a truly kind person. Kindness requires a soft outlook in life, one filled with hope and the ability to see the silver lining.

But don’t confuse that positivity with naivete. They’re well aware of the reality of the situation, it’s just that they choose to focus on the positives

That’s why, if you’re in a relationship with a kind person, it’s impossible to feel down for long. Their positive energy is contagious and you’ll definitely catch it! 

10) They give you room to be yourself

Finally, let’s talk about what I think is one of the best things about being in a relationship with a truly kind person. And that’s their ability to allow you to be yourself

You know how some people have this specific vision of who their partners should be? Then they try to change their partner to match that picture? 

You won’t have that nonsense if you’re with a truly kind person. They’re all about authenticity. They won’t just allow you to be yourself – they WANT you to be yourself. 

That’s what they love about you after all. 

It’s something I learned from the world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandê. He taught me that the way to find love and intimacy is not what we have been culturally conditioned to believe. 

In fact, many of us self-sabotage and trick ourselves for years, thinking we must be the “perfect” mate in order to meet someone who can truly fulfill us. 

As Rudá explains in this mind blowing free video, many of us chase love in a toxic way that ends up stabbing us in the back. 

We try to find someone who “completes” us, only to fall apart with them next to us and feel twice as bad. 

Rudá’s teachings showed me a whole new perspective. I learned that real love and intimacy begins with me, when I can be myself and feel complete on my own. 

That way, when the right person comes, they’re just a bonus. I don’t need to twist myself in a pretzel to feel loved. 

Are you struggling with this same issue? This free video might help. 

Final thoughts

True kindness reveals itself in everyday interactions, not just in the grand gestures. Sometimes it’s pretty clear, other times it’s quite subtle. 

So observe how your partner treats you and others around them. And listen to yourself – how do you feel when you’re with them? Do you feel secure and respected? 

If you do, then treasure them. In this oftentimes harsh world, having even just one kind person by your side can make all the difference. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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