7 signs you’re in a relationship with a truly authentic person

When you start dating someone, everyone is putting their best foot forward and trying to make the best impression. 

It takes time to get to know who they really are. And even after some time, you may still not be totally sure if they’re genuine, or hiding something. 

I’ve felt very frustrated when I had a few experiences where I found out quite late that someone was not who I thought they were.

And that made me really dig deep into this question: how can you tell if you’re in a relationship with a truly authentic person?

After a lot of thinking, research, and talking to people, I believe I’ve narrowed it down to these 7 signs. I’m super thankful to now have a partner who fully embodies them, and I hope to help you find someone who does the same. 

1) They are consistent in their actions and words

You’ve been there: swept off your feet by sweet words, only to find later that those words were empty promises. It’s a heart-wrenching realization, one that can shake your trust in love itself. 

So before you take someone’s words at face value, pay attention to see if they align with their actions too.

A friend of mine went through this kind of disappointment when he started dating a woman who talked as if she was the most ethical and moral person on the planet.

She said that she hated people who gossiped behind others’ backs, and believed in keeping everyone’s privacy.

So he was shocked to find out that she had told something private about him to a friend of hers, without asking for his permission. 

Clearly, she was much better at talking about being a respectful person than she was at actually being one. 

Learn from my friend’s bad experience, and look for confirmation of what people say.

2) They accept your flaws and imperfections

None of us are perfect. We have our quirks, our shortcomings, and those little habits that might annoy others. 

But in a relationship with an authentic person, those imperfections aren’t just tolerated, they’re accepted and even embraced.

Why? Because they too have imperfections — and since they give themselves grace, they offer it to you as well. They understand that it’s a part of being human, and they would never put pressure on you to be anything more than human.

I’m very thankful to now be in a relationship with a man who’s very good at this. I tend to get anxious easily, even about small things.

And rather than brushing it off or getting frustrated, my partner takes the time to understand why I feel that way and how he can support me. He doesn’t see it as a flaw to be fixed, but as a part of who I am. 

This acceptance is a hallmark of authenticity. It’s not about finding a partner who’s picture-perfect but finding one who sees you for who you are and loves you all the same. 

3) They show deep empathy and compassion

Another sign you’re in a relationship with a truly authentic person is that they show great empathy and compassion.

What does this really look like in practice? It’s when the person takes the time to connect with you and understand you, even if their own experiences are different from yours.

For example, I remember how I was hanging out with a close friend of mine and her partner, and she was telling us about her father’s illness.

It’s not something either her partner or I have ever been through, and I tried my best to listen. But I was deeply impressed by how compassionate her partner was.

Instead of offering cliched condolences, he took the time to listen, ask thoughtful questions to understand better, and truly feel what she was going through. 

He didn’t just say “I’m here for you”, but showed it through his actions. 

Being with someone who possesses this deep empathy and compassion is like having a safe harbor in a storm. You know that your feelings are valid, your pain is acknowledged, and you’re never alone, no matter how difficult things get.

4) They have a strong moral compass

Next, a truly authentic person will have a strong moral compass, both inside and outside the relationship. 

The best way to illustrate this is an example I saw in two friends of mine who are a couple. The guy was my colleague at the time as well as my friend, and the woman was just a personal friend. 

I had confided in her about something that felt very personal to me, and asked her not to tell anyone, as I didn’t want people at work finding out.

Her partner asked her about it once, and got upset when she refused to tell him. They even had an argument about it, and she could have told him my secret to end the conflict, but she still kept her promise to me. 

I only found out about this when I eventually told him the story too, and he said, “Oh, so that’s what she refused to tell me.”

I felt so much affection for my female friend at that moment, because she showed herself to be such an authentic and morally strong person. 

5) They respect your boundaries

Respecting boundaries is an essential aspect of any healthy relationship, and it’s also particularly telling when assessing the authenticity of a partner. 

This respect signals a profound understanding of individuality and personal space.

I recall a situation where my own relationship was faced with this very test. Early on, my partner and I were discussing our pasts, and there were certain subjects I wasn’t ready to delve into. 

Instead of pushing or prying, he respected my wish and simply said, “Whenever you’re ready, I’m here to listen.”

That moment was so validating for me. It wasn’t about his curiosity or his needs; it was about what I was comfortable with. He recognized my boundaries and honored them without question.

This respect builds trust and fosters a safe space where you can be yourself without fear or apprehension. It’s a beautiful affirmation that your partner’s authenticity is not just about them but about honoring the real you as well. 

6) They show you their vulnerable side

It can be scary and sometimes even painful to be vulnerable with people. But when someone is truly their authentic selves with you, it will be natural to do it.

They’re not afraid to open up, to share their fears, insecurities, or even those parts of themselves that they may consider ‘weak’. 

They trust you enough to let you see them as they really are, unmasked and unfiltered.

I remember a moment with my current partner when he shared with me his fears about his career. It was a subject that clearly weighed heavily on him, but it was also something that he hadn’t openly discussed with anyone else.

He looked into my eyes, hesitated for a moment, and then he began to speak. The words were raw, honest, and filled with emotion. He was revealing a part of himself that he normally kept hidden, even from his closest friends.

And in that moment, I felt an incredible connection and understanding. It wasn’t just about his specific concerns — it was about his willingness to be real and honest with me.

If you’re with a person who is brave enough to do this, just remember that vulnerability is a two-way street. It requires a willingness on your part to listen, to empathize, and to be there for them without judgment.

7) They encourage personal growth

Being with a truly authentic person means that they not only recognize your unique qualities but also actively encourage you to grow and flourish as an individual. 

They don’t just see where you are now, but where you want to be, and they understand that relationships mean growing and supporting each other together. 

For instance, I always had a passion for writing, but never really pursued it seriously. My partner, noticing my unfulfilled dream, kept encouraging me to take steps towards becoming a writer.

He’d leave thoughtful notes, provide constructive feedback on my work, and even surprise me with writing-related gifts. His belief in me fueled my confidence, and I eventually started writing professionally.

It wasn’t just about fulfilling a dream; it was about having someone who saw my potential and lovingly nudged me towards it. 

Being your most authentic selves, together

Now you know the 7 signs that you’re in a relationship with a truly authentic person.

Hopefully, you recognize most of these in your partner — or if you’re not with someone at the moment, you’ll know what to look out for in the people you meet.

But you want my best advice for building an authentic relationship, and finding an authentic person as a partner?

Start from yourself. Work on being your most authentic self no matter your relationship status, and you’ll be sure to subconsciously encourage the people around you to do the same.