If there’s one thing about me all my exes could agree on, it’s that I’m incredibly loyal. The moment I decide to commit to one person, I’m fully invested, all other potential love interests thrown out the window.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about what makes my loyalty so obvious – surely, the abstract concept could be broken down into specific signs?
Luckily, yes! And I’ve got even better news – I’ve written them all down in an article. Feel free to use it as a checklist.
Let’s explore the 8 signs you’re in a relationship with a genuinely loyal person.
1) They give you no obvious reason to doubt them
The first and most obvious sign is that your partner doesn’t do anything that’s clearly shady.
And what do I mean by that?
Talking about that one coworker way too often, comparing you to others, dodging your questions, disappearing for a night and not telling you where they’ve gone, creeping out of the bedroom when they think you’re asleep just to text on the phone and grin at the screen like a loved-up maniac…
Yeah, I think that about sums it up.
If your partner is quite clearly doing something behind your back and not being upfront with you, they aren’t very loyal.
Even if they’re not cheating, there’s a huge difference between privacy – keeping some parts of your life to yourself, such as your diary – and secrecy – intentionally hiding important information from your partner.
Privacy is important and should be respected. Secrecy can destroy relationships. A loyal partner knows how to distinguish between the two.
2) They communicate their boundaries openly and respect yours
On a similar note, someone who’s genuinely loyal would never want to hurt you by crossing your boundaries. This is why loyal people want to make sure you have *that* talk.
What do you consider cheating? And what is not strictly cheating but makes you uncomfortable anyway?
In my past relationship, we had a rule that anything we knew would make our partner uncomfortable was off the limits. He knew I wouldn’t like it if he liked half-naked pictures of girls he knew on Instagram; I knew he was against forming a friendship with someone I was attracted to, even if we never crossed the sexual line.
Go into as much detail as possible. Really talk it through. If your requests aren’t unreasonable, a loyal person will respect your boundaries and never give you a reason to doubt their true intentions.
3) They open up about their past experiences
Everyone’s boundaries differ for a reason.
While some people may have been cheated on in the past, others might have some emotional baggage from their childhood, and others yet may feel insecure about certain aspects of romance.
A loyal partner wants you to understand why their boundaries are the way they are and why it matters so much that you don’t cross them. What’s more, they want you to know them for who they really are, even if that includes painful experiences from the past.
Their commitment to you manifests through the choice to be vulnerable and share themselves with you in their entirety. This shows they are in it for the long run.
It’s incredibly scary to do this, especially if they’ve been hurt in the past, so make sure to let them know how much you value their honesty.
4) They stand by your side no matter what
This isn’t what it sounds like. If you do something unkind or behave in a way that’s morally unethical, a loyal partner isn’t just going to stand there and let you get on with it.
They *will* call you out. But they’ll also make sure you know that they’re only telling you this because they know you can do better and because they love you very much.
Plus, making mistakes doesn’t drive them away. Someone who’s committed to you isn’t going to leave at the first sign of trouble. They’ll stand by you, offer you emotional support, and give you all the love they can give.
That brings us to the next point…
5) They offer reassurance with love
Reassurance is an incredibly important part of romantic relationships, and yet it’s often something that people are unwilling to give.
“Isn’t it obvious I love them? Isn’t it clear I find them attractive? I wouldn’t be with them if I didn’t feel that way!”
Well, it *is* obvious… to you. But emotions aren’t always rational, and romantic relationships may trigger all kinds of insecurities that make people lose their grip on their feelings.
Here’s where reassurance comes in. A genuinely loyal person won’t only give you no reason to doubt them – they’ll also provide reassurance and express their love in ways that confirm how they feel about you.
Compliments, hugs, gifts, quality time, dates, you name it, they’ll do it.
They simply want you to feel their love in all its glory.
6) They make the relationship a priority when needed
Loyalty is defined by priorities. If you’re loyal to someone, they’re high on your list of priorities. If you don’t care much, they’re somewhere at the bottom.
Nowhere is this more obvious than in a romantic relationship, which should always be positioned high.
Look, I’m not saying your partner always comes first. They don’t. The breakdown your best friend is going through and the wedding of your sister are much more important than the fact that your partner feels a little lonely.
But a loyal person will prioritize their romantic relationship when it truly matters.
If you need them, they’ll be there for you. If they’re facing a big career decision, they’ll talk to you about it. If they’re deciding between taking you out on a much-needed date or going to the pub with the same friends as always, they’ll choose you.
Because they value your connection so much that they automatically make you a priority.
You rarely need to ask.
7) They update you on their whereabouts
There’s a difference between following someone’s every move and simply being aware of what’s on their plan for today.
The first is toxic. The latter is very normal and shouldn’t have to be a big deal. Loyal people understand that.
If they go to the pub after work, they let you know. If they’re planning a trip with their friends, they tell you far in advance. And if you need something urgent while they’re out, they try to make themselves available, for example by not muting their phones and checking their texts once or twice.
When you’re dating someone genuinely loyal, you don’t have to stay awake at night wondering where they are. You’ll always know.
8) They openly plan their future with you
Reflect on how they talk about their future. Are they openly planning it with you? Are they speaking in “we” terms instead of “I”? Do you sometimes chat about where you’d like to eventually settle down and what your family plans are?
A loyal person is all for it. They stopped wondering if the grass was greener on the other side a long time ago, and now their focus is solely on you and your role in their life.
They don’t want anyone else. They want you. And they’ll do their best to show you their loyalty.