Men seem simple on the surface, don’t they?
However, under the skin, we have the same worries, insecurities, needs, and wishes as women do.
The only difference is that we don’t express them in the same ways. Or at all.
That’s why some men are more difficult to handle than others. We’re also more raw, for better or worse.
So, in today’s article, let’s discover the signs that show your man is difficult but well-meaning.
1) He’s super independent, maybe a bit too much at times
There are two types of men – the clingers and the independents. If your man is independent, his independence is often a double-edged sword.
He won’t come to you to ask for advice and approval on every single thing, which becomes annoying pretty fast.
On the other side, there are moments when you might wish he’d lean on you more. That’s because he values self-sufficiency, sometimes to the point of not asking for help even when he needs it.
And that’s me in a nutshell. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not in this alone. There’s someone who can help me with most things, and that’s my lovely wife.
The thing is, she likes overthinking things and talking them through, which is not something I do a lot. So, I simply do it myself most of the time. I’m a doer. I come in, do the thing, and get out.
Lucky her, huh?
2) Communication isn’t his strong suit, but he genuinely cares
When it comes to expressing feelings, your partner might be like a closed book, right? It’s not that he doesn’t care; it’s just that articulating emotions isn’t his strong suit.
Sure, you can encourage open communication and find alternative ways for him to express his feelings to strengthen your connection.
But it’s probably going to be in vain. Men might not talk less than women (contrary to popular opinion), but your man might be an exception.
It isn’t that he isn’t interested in you or your relationship. He probably just has a blind spot and doesn’t realize that he’s quiet most of the time.
3) Making decisions together? Brace yourself for some challenges
Does deciding on things together feel like navigating a maze? His strong opinions reflect a sense of individuality, but finding a middle ground is, of course, essential.
Balancing compromise and respecting his views and stances creates a healthier decision-making dynamic. But he should do the same, too.
Compromise may feel like a foreign concept to him, not because he’s stubborn but because he’s accustomed to doing things his way.
He’s just too independent and doesn’t realize how it affects you and the relationship.
But, from my experience, every day is an opportunity for growth for both of you, learning to meet in the middle and make decisions that reflect both your needs and desires.
4) Expressing emotions? That’s a bit of a puzzle for him
Emotional expression may be a challenge for him, but it doesn’t mean he lacks depth. His emotions run deep, and understanding the subtleties in his actions can reveal a lot about his feelings.
We’re coming back to his lack of communication again.
Often, his actions and behaviors serve as a silent language that speaks volumes about what he’s experiencing.
You need to read between the lines, where nuances and subtleties provide insight into his emotional landscape.
Patience and creating a safe space for vulnerability are key. You need to find a balance that allows both of you to connect on a deeper emotional level.
For example, spend quality time together doing activities you both enjoy. Shared experiences create lasting memories and reinforce the emotional bond between you.
Regularly express appreciation for each other. Acknowledge the little things you love about one another, reinforcing a positive emotional connection.
And lastly, physical touch and non-verbal cues can also communicate emotions effectively.
Initiate gentle touches, hugs, or even just sitting close to encourage him to communicate feelings without words.
5) Social situations aren’t comfortable for him, but he tries
Let me guess: he doesn’t like spending time around a lot of people he doesn’t know. But even though social settings aren’t his comfort zone, he puts in effort to participate.
This shows his commitment to you.
Encouraging him and understanding his need for space in social settings can help him feel more at ease.
Gently remind him that you’re spending time with his friends and that you don’t want to hear a peep about him having to go to your events.
I think a firm approach should be the best in this case.
6) Change? Not his favorite thing, and adapting takes time
For some men, change can be unsettling. You see, most men like stability, and rattling that cage is something they don’t like doing.
They don’t want to disturb that status quo and make sudden and drastic changes.
Even buying him a new wardrobe out of the blue will make him uncomfortable because he likes wearing his 20-year-old t-shirts that are already pale AF.
I’ll never forget how my then-girlfriend showed her friends my old pair of boxer shorts I was using for sleeping. I mean, they were barely held together by two strings.
But I loved them. They were breezy, and no one outside the apartment would ever see them. Or so I thought.
To my wife, if you’re reading this, that wasn’t cool.
The thing I’m trying to convey here unsuccessfully is that change is hard for some men, okay.
So, whether it’s a shift in plans or a major life change, patience and gradual adjustments will help your partner adapt more comfortably.
7) Patience is a virtue he’s still working on acquiring
Look, patience isn’t my strongest suit.
But you know what? It’s cool because none of us are born with an infinite supply of it.
Working together on developing patience has turned it into a shared journey for me, for us, rather than a point of friction.
The worst part is that I have the least patience for my wife, and I’m devastated by that. As I already said, I’m a doer, and I like things to be done now instead of later.
This is obviously frustrating my SO, and I understand her.
But moving to Portugal, I’ve learned that life can be slow and everything doesn’t (and won’t) have to be done yesterday.
I’ve taken a page out of their book and lowered my expectations of everyone. It’s just not worth sweating about the small stuff.
Despite the challenges, his heart’s in the right place
Despite the challenges, his heart is genuinely in the right place.
Recognizing and appreciating the positive aspects of his character can help build a strong foundation for your relationship to flourish.