7 signs you’re in a complicated relationship that is wearing you down

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

In the intricate dance of love, it’s easy to lose sight of where the steps lead.

Amidst the whirlwind of emotions and intertwined complexities, signs often emerge, whispering of a relationship that may be more burden than bliss. 

From subtle cues to glaring red flags, recognizing when a relationship is becoming a weight rather than a source of support is crucial. 

Below, we’ll check out 7 telltale signs that your relationship is wearing down the very fabric of your well-being.

1) Constant fatigue

It’s not uncommon to feel tired. Life can be demanding, and it’s normal to feel worn out from time to time.

But when you’re constantly feeling drained, and there’s one common denominator – your relationship – then it’s time to take notice.

The truth is, that relationships should give you energy, not take it away. Sure, they require work and can be challenging. But if you’re constantly feeling tired and drained after interacting with your partner, it might be a sign that the relationship is wearing you down.

In essence, if you’re using more energy to keep the relationship going than you’re getting out of it, it’s a clear sign something isn’t right.

2) You’re always walking on eggshells

I remember feeling like I was constantly treading on thin ice, always on edge, afraid that one wrong move would shatter everything.

This was my life in a past relationship. I felt like I couldn’t be myself or express my thoughts freely, out of fear that it would trigger an argument or negative reaction from my partner.

In a healthy relationship, you should feel comfortable to speak your mind, share your feelings, and be yourself without the constant fear of repercussions. But in this relationship, I was perpetually anxious about what I said or how I behaved.

Looking back, I realize how damaging it was to my overall well-being. If you find yourself always walking on eggshells, take it as a sign that the relationship might be wearing you down.

3) Your self-esteem is plummeting

Your relationship should make you feel good about yourself, not make you question your worth. When your self-esteem starts to take a hit in a relationship, it’s a clear warning sign.

According to Charlie Health, people in toxic relationships often suffer from significantly lower self-esteem. They’re more likely to blame themselves for problems and feel inadequate.

Hence, if you notice that you’re frequently doubting yourself or feeling less confident since being in the relationship, it’s time to reassess things. A healthy love life should lift you up and make you feel valued, not leave you feeling small and insignificant.

4) You’re constantly making excuses for your partner

When you’re in a relationship that’s low-key toxic, it’s easy to fall into this pattern of excusing their actions. My best friend Phoebe went through something similar.

At first, Phoebe’s partner seemed great. But as time went on, his behavior turned sour. He’d cancel plans last minute, make hurtful comments, and get jealous over small stuff.

Phoebe found herself making excuses for him all the time. She’d say he was just stressed or insecure. But deep down, she knew things weren’t right.

It wasn’t until Phoebe opened up to me about it that she saw how toxic it was.  

Let’s be clear: in a healthy relationship, you shouldn’t feel the need to make excuses for your partner’s behavior.  

5) You’re neglecting other aspects of your life

Getting entangled in a complex relationship can quickly become all-consuming, overshadowing every aspect of your life.

If you find yourself neglecting friends, family, hobbies, or work due to your relationship, it’s a stark indicator of its overwhelming complexity.

Make no mistake: a thriving relationship ought to enrich your life, not detract from it. Your partner should acknowledge and honor your external commitments and passions beyond the confines of the relationship.

6) You feel lonelier when you’re together

There’s a particular breed of loneliness that surpasses solitude – it’s the sensation of being lonely in the presence of another.

In a healthy relationship, one expects their partner to provide emotional support, understanding, and validation. They are supposed to be the one who makes you feel cherished, appreciated, and understood.

However, in a relationship tainted by understated toxicity, these emotional needs often go unmet. Despite physical proximity, there is a palpable emotional gap, leaving you feeling isolated and unfulfilled. 

7) You’re constantly hoping for change

I used to find myself gazing at my partner, silently willing them to change. I held onto the hope that one day, things would be different and that the issues causing tension would suddenly disappear.

This is a common trap many of us fall into – staying in a messed-up relationship because we believe our partner will change. We hold onto every tiny sign of improvement as proof that things are getting better, even when the overall picture doesn’t look good.

But I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t force someone to change if they don’t want to. Yes, people can change, but it’s not something you can control or predict.  

Navigating the path forward: Finding clarity in complexity

As you reflect on these signs, remember: that recognizing the wear and tear in a relationship is the first step toward reclaiming your peace and happiness. 

Whether it’s through open communication, seeking professional guidance, or bravely stepping away, prioritizing your well-being is paramount. Trust your instincts, honor your worth, and know that you deserve a relationship that uplifts and empowers you. 

Embrace the journey ahead with courage and self-compassion, for clarity and fulfillment await those who dare to navigate the complexities of love with authenticity and grace.

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

People who travel alone without feeling self-conscious tend to possess these 9 unique strengths

8 traits of high-maintenance people that make them difficult to be around