Ethan Sterling
As a fellow overthinker in this wild ride called life, I’ve learned that while it’s awesome to recognize our strengths, it’s just as crucial to face our not-so-glamorous side too.
One of those sneaky little weaknesses? Being overly self-critical. And here’s the kicker: the smarter you are, the more you might struggle with this. Yep, you heard that right.
When you’ve got a brain that loves to analyze and dive deep into everything (including yourself), it’s easy to get stuck in a loop of self-criticism. It’s like your intelligence decided to throw a little too much shade your way.
Psychologists have actually spotted some patterns here. Turns out, those of us who are blessed (or cursed) with big brains tend to be a bit too rough on ourselves.
Let’s dive into the nine signs that you’re a super-smart individual who might just be their own worst critic.
1) Overthinking
Sometimes, overthinking can manifest as a relentless self-analysis that borders on self-deprecation.
You might find yourself replaying conversations in your head, picking apart your responses, and criticizing your choice of words. Maybe you dwell on past mistakes, ruminate on what you could have done differently, and beat yourself up over perceived failures.
Over time, this constant self-criticism can become your norm. It might seem like there’s always something you could have done better, or a situation you could have handled more effectively.
The truth is, everyone makes mistakes and has room for improvement.
2) Perfectionism
You might set yourself incredibly high standards and expect nothing but the best from yourself in every situation.
This might mean staying up late to perfect a work project, re-reading an email several times before hitting send, or even obsessing over minor details in your personal life. You may feel a sense of dissatisfaction when things aren’t exactly as you envisioned them.
While striving for excellence is admirable, there’s a fine line between being meticulous and being overly perfectionist. The latter can lead to burnout, stress, and a constant feeling of inadequacy, no matter how well you perform.
3) Self-deprecation
You know the drill—someone compliments you, and instead of basking in the glory, you brush it off as “just luck” or “perfect timing,” as if your hard work and smarts had nothing to do with it.
Ever find yourself squirming when someone praises your work? Or maybe you’ve become the master of self-deprecating humor, cracking jokes about your so-called “lack” of talent just to sidestep the awkwardness of owning your awesomeness.
But here’s the kicker: while modesty has its charm, constantly belittling yourself can actually reinforce a negative self-image. In fact, a study published in the British Journal of Social Psychology found that people who frequently engage in self-deprecation are more likely to internalize those negative beliefs, which isn’t exactly a recipe for boosting self-esteem.
4) Fear of failure
This kind of fear can be downright paralyzing. It can keep you from taking risks, following your passions, or even trying out new things. You might find yourself clinging to what you already know, hiding out in your comfort zone just to dodge any potential faceplants.
But here’s the thing: failure is just a part of life’s crazy ride. According to a study from Harvard Business Review, people who embrace failure as a learning opportunity are more resilient and better equipped to handle future challenges.
Maybe it’s time to reframe your relationship with failure. Instead of seeing it as proof that you’re not good enough, think of it as the world’s most unconventional teacher.
5) Difficulty accepting compliments
When you’re overly self-critical, even well-meant compliments can be hard to accept. You might find yourself brushing them off, downplaying your achievements, or even questioning the sincerity of the person complimenting you.
Perhaps you feel uncomfortable in the spotlight, or believe that you don’t truly deserve the praise. Maybe you’re afraid that accepting a compliment will make you appear arrogant or self-involved.
But here’s the thing: You are deserving of praise. Your efforts, your skills, your accomplishments – they all warrant recognition and appreciation. It’s important to remember that accepting a compliment doesn’t equate to bragging; it’s simply acknowledging the good that others see in you.
6) Constant comparison
In this age of social media, it’s incredibly easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with others. If you’re highly intelligent but overly self-critical, you might find yourself constantly measuring your achievements and lifestyle against those of your peers.
Maybe you see a friend’s promotion on LinkedIn and wonder why you’re not advancing as quickly in your career. Or perhaps you notice a colleague’s lavish vacation photos on Instagram and start questioning your own life choices.
The thing is, we often compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. It’s important to remember that what we see online is often a carefully curated and idealized version of reality. Instead of comparing yourself to others, try focusing on your own growth and progress.
7) Procrastination
Perhaps you delay starting a project because you fear it won’t be perfect, or put off making a decision because you’re worried about making the wrong choice. You might even find yourself cleaning the house or organizing your desk as a way to avoid tackling that big task.
The irony is, procrastination often leads to more stress and self-criticism.
So next time you catch yourself putting things off, why not try breaking the task into smaller, manageable parts? Or give yourself a little pep talk – remind yourself that progress is better than perfection.
And hey, who knows? You might even surprise yourself with what you can achieve when you stop overthinking and start doing!
8) Neglecting self-care
Listen up. If you’re highly intelligent but overly self-critical, there’s a good chance you’re putting everyone else’s needs before your own.
You might be working late hours, skipping meals, or missing out on sleep to meet deadlines or help others.
Neglecting your own well-being isn’t doing anyone any favors. You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re exhausted, stressed, and run-down, you won’t be able to give your best to your work, your relationships, or anything else in your life.
Self-care isn’t selfish – it’s necessary for maintaining both your physical and mental health.
So make time for yourself. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly, and do things you enjoy. This isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity.
9) Seeking external validation
If there’s one thing you should remember, it’s this: Your worth is not determined by external validation.
If you’re highly intelligent but overly self-critical, you might find yourself seeking approval or recognition from others to feel good about yourself.
Perhaps you strive for high grades, job promotions, or social media likes to validate your self-worth. Maybe you feel disheartened when your efforts go unnoticed or unappreciated.
But here’s the crucial bit: Your value isn’t defined by these external factors. It comes from within. It’s about your character, your resilience, your kindness, your passion – qualities that can’t be measured or rated.
Moving forward
If you’ve recognized these signs in yourself, remember: being self-critical can sometimes be a by-product of high intelligence, but it needn’t define you.
It’s important to understand that being overly self-critical can hinder your growth and well-being, rather than fueling your success.
Our inner voice can shape our reality. Make sure yours is positive.
