Alexandra Plesa
When it comes to gauging someone’s level of happiness, we often get it wrong.
That famous influencer you follow who seems on top of the world? They might struggle with demons you have no idea about.
The pop star who smiles for the camera? They might hate the person they see in the mirror.
And the coworker who is the life of the party? They might grapple with big problems at home.
It’s unappealing to complain and mope around, so we learn how to fake bliss.
Meanwhile, we’re screaming on the inside.
Here are 7 signs you’re deeply unhappy in life, even if no one realizes it.
Maybe it’s time you did something to change that.
1) You are perpetually exhausted
An overwhelming and unrelenting sense of physical and emotional fatigue can be a sign of deep unhappiness.
If you’re good at masking it, no one will ever know.
Do you wake up exhausted despite getting enough sleep the night before?
Do you spend most of your weekend horizontally (not for any fun reasons)?
Do you crash on the couch when you’re done with work and find it difficult to get back up?
Then, you might suffer from a severe case of unhappiness.
When we’re not content with our lives, our energy drops, so we function in survival mode.
You can get the basics done, but that’s about it.
You have no leftover drive for activities that might help you recharge and no stamina to plan for the future.
And no matter how much sleep you get, the weariness never goes away.
2) You stopped socializing
Another red flag is a tendency to withdraw from social activities or isolate yourself from friends and family.
If you don’t have much energy, you probably don’t want to waste it on other people.
So you stay in most nights, stop going out on weekends, and barely respond to texts from your loved ones.
Alternatively, perhaps you feel like a wet blanket at the moment, and you don’t want to infect others with your sense of dread.
If you’re an introvert or don’t go out much, your loved ones might not even notice your change in behavior.
After all, everyone has stuff going on.
The problem is that we’re social beings.
Feeling disconnected and alone will only amplify your sadness.
Ironically, surrounding yourself with people you like might actually get you out of your funk.
Too bad you’re never in the mood to socialize.
3) Nothing piques your interest
Losing interest in activities that once brought you joy can also signal that you’re deeply unhappy in life, even if no one realizes it.
Whenever I go through a challenging time, I stop finding comfort in my hobbies.
I read, and I can barely focus. I rewatch movies I love, and I feel empty inside. I reorganize my closet, and the result no longer puts a smile on my face.
That’s usually when I know that I need to make some sort of change.
If you’re no longer interested in your favorite pastime activities, you don’t engage in them anymore, which only exacerbates your misery.
You might even lose interest in work, in moving your body, in trying out new things.
These are grim times, for sure.
4) You’re in a constant state of irritability
When you’re unhappy with your life, you might have this noise in your brain that doesn’t dial down.
It’s like the knowledge that something is wrong chaotically bounces around in your mind.
No one notices it, but you do – and it’s incredibly annoying.
So much so that you enter a constant state of irritability.
You want to snap at everyone, your patience dwindles, and the smallest inconvenience can set you off.
Things that made me cry in frustration during my latest bout of unhappiness:
- Dropping my keys just as I reached the front door of my apartment
- My favorite cheese being out of stock at the grocery store
- Noticing that I made a typo in an email
- A video of a big dog refusing to share snacks with a small dog
- Running out of trash bags
What can I say? Living on the brink of a breakdown is a rollercoaster.
You would do anything to quiet that hum nagging you on the inside.
That brings me to my next point.
5) You try to numb your brain
When you’re deeply unhappy, a powerful impulse is to quiet your brain so it no longer sends distress signals.
As a result, you try to look for ways to escape reality.
Substance abuse. Binge-watching. Doom scrolling.
These are all ways to distract yourself in the hope that you’ll forget about the big black hole hiding just under your surface.
They’re a subconscious attempt to avoid confronting your underlying unhappiness.
And will others notice?
If you have a partner or roommate, they might.
Otherwise, it’s plausible that no one will figure out that something is wrong.
6) You feel stuck
Many deeply unhappy people feel trapped in their current circumstances.
This feeling of stagnation may manifest in various aspects of life, like your career, relationships, or personal growth.
It’s like you’re unable to pursue any interests, set and achieve goals, or engage in activities that bring a sense of accomplishment.
You feel like you’re not progressing in any significant way, which only makes you more bummed out.
Plus, you might start to question the meaning of your actions and life in general.
When that happens, exploring the root of your emotional issues is a must.
7) You stopped taking care of yourself
Unhappiness affects people in various ways, but a clear sign that something is not right is when you neglect your self-care routines.
Your apartment becomes a mess. Your fridge is empty. You’re late on your bills. You barely remember the last time you showered.
You’re so tired, gloomy, and fed up that you tell yourself this whole maintenance hoopla isn’t worth it.
Reaching this point means you’ve probably stopped being kind to yourself, too.
You engage in negative self-talk on a daily basis, and you feel like nothing you do is ever good enough.
This apathy signals an internal struggle.
One that outsiders won’t be privy to unless you decide to open up.
Final thoughts
Realizing you’re unhappy is the first step toward reclaiming your well-being.
If you resonate with the signs above, start by reaching out to loved ones for support.
A kind word can go a long way when you’re down in the dumps.
Then, put together a blueprint for how to reignite your spark for life.
Maybe you can take a vacation, reconnect with people who matter to you, or rediscover old hobbies that bring you joy.
The only wrong thing you can try is doing nothing.
So far, that hasn’t been working anyway.
