Paul Brian
“Nobody loves me!”
I remember a childhood friend who’d just gotten in trouble with his mom running to his room crying and screaming this, before slamming the door.
Many of us feel this even when it’s not true. And for many of us it’s hard to overcome this deep inner sensation that we’re not truly loved even as we grow older.
Nobody gets me…
Nobody truly cares about what happens to me…
I’m alone at the end of the day….
These are all the kinds of thoughts that occur.
But I’m here with the antidote: rock-solid signs that you are much more loved than you realize even if you sometimes feel stranded and unloved.
1) Sharing resources
Sharing is caring:
It’s actually true!
When you have people in your life who will voluntarily and happily share food, resources and support with you, you can be sure of this:
They love you deeply.
Some folks are more generous than others, of course.
But willingness to share what they have certainly shows that somebody cares about your wellbeing and loves you.
It shows that you’re part of the tribe, you’re included, wanted and valued:
It shows deep affection and love.
2) Keeping in touch
Let’s face it:
When you care, you stay in touch.
Personally speaking I’m not that good at keeping in touch with friends and family, but it does depend on the situation, too.
Whenever there’s a crisis or something is going on in my life, I’m in contact with those close to me and they’re in touch with me.
These are signs of real love. Many of us have busy schedules and don’t spend a lot of time talking. But when we call, we ring our loved ones up and let them know.
If you hear from folks on a regular basis, know that they care about you deeply.
Here’s the thing:
Those who don’t care, don’t call.
3) Trusting you fully
If you have people in your life who trust you fully, you can be sure that they love you.
Total trust is a rare thing, and sometimes we take it for granted without thinking of how rare it really is.
Examples include:
- Your romantic partner voluntarily sharing their phone password with you
- Being given a loan by a friend or family member that fully trusts you will pay it back even if you don’t currently have the means
Whichever way that somebody demonstrates full trust in you, it’s certainly a special thing.
Treasure it.
4) Boosting your spirits
When you’re down in the dumps, those who love you are there for you.
They have your back at the deepest level.
They don’t do it for money, a reward or even because you appreciate it. You may be telling them to leave you alone or that your life isn’t worth anything.
But they don’t believe you. They won’t accept you giving up.
They want you to keep living. They want to cheer you up and they go to great lengths to help you get through darkness you are going through.
5) Introducing you to others
If people make an effort to introduce you to others and help you network, they love you.
This can be on the job level, on the matchmaker level and in many other ways.
Introducing you to people is a way of showing love.
“I have this one friend I think you might really like” means “I care about you and want you to meet someone special.”
It’s a sign of real love for you, even if you sometimes feel quite alone.
6) Giving thoughtful gifts
When people say it’s the thought that counts, they are spot on.
The kind of people who give you really thoughtful and personalized gifts, are folks who care about you far beyond the casual.
They love you and really want to telegraph that care for you through their thoughtful presents.
Remembering special dates such as your birthday, anniversary or other times that are special in your life are a sure sign that you’re loved.
The small gift isn’t what matters:
What matters is the real love behind it.
7) Taking your advice
Those who care a lot about you have one thing in common:
They actually listen to what you say and care about it.
Even better is that they truly consider your advice and talk it over with you instead of just ignoring it or pretending to care and then not listening.
Giving advice is always a bit of a risk:
Those who do listen to your advice (or give you advice) are taking a bit of a chance on that.
The fact that they respect you and care about you at this level is a definite sign that there is deep love and respect present.
8) Patience about you
“Love is patient, love is kind,” so wrote St. Paul in his infamous letter to the Corinthians…
It’s true.
Those who love you are patient with you.
They see your potential when others only see your faults. They stay by your side and keep up hope in you even when many others have given up.
They see your flaws but they still love you, and they know and believe in your ability to improve, change and develop in life.
They love you and they believe in you.
9) Caring about your progress
Do you have people in your life who care a lot about your progress?
They love you.
Think of the people whose progress you care a lot about:
These are your family, friends, those you love and those you have formed a deep connection with.
You grieve when they grieve and celebrate when they succeed.
You feel their pain and care about their progress and overcoming of obstacles.
The better they do, the more you feel inspired and happy for them.
Which leads me to the last point about a sign that you’re truly loved…
10) Being proud of your wins
When you’re truly loved by somebody, they’re proud of your wins.
Whether that be family, friends or others in your life, they cheer you on when you’re experiencing success.
Just as they are there for you during the hard times, they are proud of you when it’s time to celebrate.
They’re the one cheering loudest when you go up to get the award or when you overcome an injury and get back out on the playing field.
They’re not pretending:
They’re filled with pride but what you’re accomplishing.
That’s love!
