Ethan Sterling
Confidence can be a tricky thing to pin down. It’s not about boasting or showing off, it’s something far less visible.
True confidence is about being comfortable in your own skin, not feeling the need to impress anyone else. It’s about knowing who you are, and being okay with that.
You can tell a genuinely self-confident man from his actions and behaviors. He walks the talk, and his actions speak louder than words.
Here are 9 telltale signs that you’re dealing with a genuinely self-confident man.
1) He listens more than he speaks
Confidence isn’t about dominating conversations or trying to prove how smart you are.
In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
A genuinely self-confident man knows he doesn’t have all the answers. He understands the importance of listening to others and learning from them.
He doesn’t feel the need to constantly assert his own opinions or ideas. Instead, he values and respects what others have to say, even if he doesn’t agree with them.
This is a clear sign of true confidence. A man who is secure in himself doesn’t feel threatened by differing viewpoints. Instead, he sees them as opportunities to grow and learn.
2) He is comfortable with vulnerability
True confidence comes with being comfortable in your own skin, including your flaws and insecurities.
I remember a conversation I had with a friend of mine who always seemed so self-assured. During this chat, he opened up about his struggles and fears. Surprisingly, this didn’t make him seem weak, but rather it made him even more admirable.
He wasn’t afraid to show his vulnerable side. He knew that acknowledging his weaknesses in no way diminished his strengths.
By being open and honest about who he is, without fear of judgement or rejection, he showed me that he was comfortable with himself, warts and all.
3) He doesn’t need validation from others
A key attribute of a genuinely self-confident man is not seeking approval or validation from others. His self-worth is not tied to the praise or criticism he receives.
Psychological studies have found that people who seek validation from others often have lower self-esteem and are more likely to experience anxiety and depression. In contrast, those who are self-confident derive their sense of self-worth from within.
A truly confident man knows his worth and doesn’t need others to validate it. He is content with himself and doesn’t rely on external validation to feel good about who he is.
4) He embraces failure as a part of growth
No one likes to fail. But a genuinely self-confident man understands that failure is an essential part of growth.
Instead of seeing failure as a reflection of his worth, he sees it as an opportunity to learn and improve.
He doesn’t let fear of failure stop him from taking risks or pursuing his goals.
He knows that every setback is a setup for a comeback. This perspective allows him to bounce back from failures and keep moving forward.
5) He respects boundaries
A genuinely self-confident man has a deep respect for personal boundaries – both his own and those of others.
He understands that everyone has their own space and limits, and he never tries to overstep or ignore these. He is not afraid to say no when necessary, and he respects when others do the same.
Respecting boundaries is about understanding and valuing the individuality of others. It shows that he is secure enough in himself not to feel threatened by the independence of others.
6) He is kind and considerate
True self-confidence is often reflected in how a man treats other people – especially those from whom he has nothing to gain.
A genuinely self-confident man is kind and considerate. He understands that his worth is not diminished by treating others with respect and kindness.
He values people for who they are, not what they can offer him. He is generous with his time, his attention, and his help.
In a world where you can be anything, a truly confident man chooses to be kind.
7) He encourages others to shine
One trait I’ve noticed in genuinely self-confident men is that they’re not afraid to let others shine. They don’t feel threatened by the success or abilities of others. Instead, they celebrate it.
I once worked with a man who was extremely successful in his field. Despite his success, he always took the time to acknowledge and praise the achievements of others. He was confident enough in his own abilities that he didn’t feel the need to dim anyone else’s light.
A truly self-confident man wants others to succeed and grow, and he actively encourages them to do so.
8) He takes responsibility for his actions
Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a key indicator of self-confidence.
A genuinely self-confident man doesn’t shy away from owning up to his mistakes. He doesn’t blame others or make excuses when things go wrong. Instead, he acknowledges his role in the situation, learns from it, and works on making improvements.
This kind of accountability requires a strong sense of self and the confidence to admit when you’re wrong. It shows that he values honesty and integrity over appearing flawless.
9) He is comfortable with who he is
At the heart of genuine self-confidence is being comfortable with who you are.
A truly self-confident man has accepted himself, flaws and all. He doesn’t pretend to be someone he’s not just to impress others. He doesn’t feel the need to put on a mask or hide his true self.
He knows his worth and he is proud of who he is. He doesn’t let the opinions and judgements of others define him or shake his confidence.
Final thoughts: Confidence is more than meets the eye
The essence of true confidence often lies beneath the surface, beyond what we can immediately perceive.
Genuine self-confidence isn’t about arrogance or superiority. It’s about knowing who you are, accepting yourself for all that you are, and respecting others for who they are.
It’s about listening more than speaking, embracing vulnerability, not seeking external validation, and viewing failure as a stepping stone towards growth.
Remember, a genuinely self-confident man respects boundaries, is kind and considerate to others, encourages others to shine, takes responsibility for his actions, and most importantly, he is comfortable with being himself.
Understanding these signs can help us not just recognize self-confidence in others but also guide us in nurturing it within ourselves. After all, true confidence is an inside job.
