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15 surprising signs you’re dating a sigma male (and what it means for your relationship)

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A sigma male – also known as a lone wolf – is a guy who’s famous, successful, and independent. But, even with these impressive qualities, a sigma male won’t always ‘show’ himself to his partner.

As such, you need to keep an eye out for these 15 signs you’re dating one – for each willl mean a lot for your relationship.

Let’s begin.

1) He’s known to be quite a loner

Being a lone wolf, you’ll think that a sigma male would be the life of the party – right?

Well, that’s a popular yet wrong misconception.

In fact, sigma males like being alone for the quiet helps them think better.

I say, the word ‘lone’ in lone wolf is a sure giveaway.

That said, this doesn’t mean that sigma males won’t thrive in a social environment. They’re very cordial, especially with people familiar to them.

What it means for your relationship

A quiet dinner at home – and ehem – some Netflix and chill. Sounds dreamy, right? Well, you can expect this – and a bevy of staycations – with your lone wolf partner.

That said, if you’re a party girl, your sigma date’s loner personality need not get in the way. You can make him socialize more simply by triggering his inner hero.

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

2) …so he doesn’t have topnotch social skills

Being a loner, sigma males are sometimes rusty when it comes to socializing. This isn’t always obvious when they’re socializing with close friends and family, but rather, when they’re thrust into bigger circles.

They can get quite awkward, which can be painful to watch. But once they see their close friends, they transform into a chatty cat – a side of them you might haven’t seen before.

What it means for your relationship

It could be quite challenging to coax your sigma date out of his shell, especially if you’re bringing him to a big occasion.

That said, this doesn’t mean that he won’t rise up to the occasion. If he likes you, he’ll do his best to socialize well – no matter how painful it may be for him.

3) He doesn’t seek attention

As I’ve mentioned, sigma males don’t like to be in the limelight – unlike alpha males who crave to be the center of attention. Even if they’re highly successful, they don’t need others to gush over their accomplishments.

They’re their own person, and they’re mighty proud of it!

What it means for your relationship

Some guys want your 100% attention to be on them. Well, you don’t have to worry about this with your sigma guy. He knows you have your own life, and he won’t ask you to divert all your attention to him.

That said, this doesn’t mean that you should just ignore him because he can handle it. Your sigma date wants (and deserves) affection too, so be sure to give it to him!

4) He’s a risk-taker

Sigma males are unafraid to take a gamble.They’ll pursue new, untested paths, for they don’t want to be part of the mold.

They want to break out of the box, and they’ll do everything it takes to succeed.

What it means for your relationship

As a bold risk taker, a sigma male is a man of action. He knows what he wants, and he’ll do anything to get it.

So don’t be surprised if he comes up persuasive – stubborn even – when asking you out for a date.

He likes you and will do everything to get your sweet ‘yes.’

5) He’s a rule-breaker

Sigma males love taking risks, which is why they tend to break the rules every. single. time.

See, they often gamble on things, which means they don’t always follow the traditional norms.

How could you do something novel and revolutionary if you stick with the old rules, anyway?

What it means for your relationship

Being the rule-breaker he is, you may expect your sigma date to slip by your ‘restrictions’ several times.

Even so, you can still keep him on lock simply by trying Clayton Max’s infatuation scripts.

As dating and relationship coach Clayton Max says, “It’s not about checking all the boxes on a man’s list of what makes his ‘perfect girl.’ A woman can’t “convince” a man to want to be with her.”

See, men choose women who they are infatuated with. These women inspire excitement and desire to chase them through what they say in their texts.

If you want to be this type of woman, watch Clayton Max’s quick video. Here, he’ll show you how to make a man infatuated with you (it’s easier than you probably think).

Infatuation is triggered by a primal drive deep within the male brain. And although it sounds crazy, there is a combination of words you can say to generate feelings of red-hot passion for you.

To learn exactly what these texts are, watch Clayton’s excellent video now.

6) …but he’s always fair

Sure, sigma males are risk-takers and rule-breakers. Despite that, having these qualities doesn’t mean they are impartial people.

They know that no one likes being mistreated. That’s why a sigma is a catch, for he’ll look at everything justly and impartially – which is how everyone should!

See, sigmas couldn’t care less about power dynamics, making them total opposites to power-hungry alphas.

What it means for your relationship

No, you don’t have to worry about being scolded by a sigma male. There are no screaming fights, or physical ones, which you may expect from more dominant personalities.

You can expect him to treat you with fairness, respect, and patience. He’s a true gentleman if you will.

7) He’s self-aware

A sigma male is highly self-perceptive. As Justin Brown, HackSpirit co-founder, explains it:

Self-awareness is the experience of one’s own individuality. This means that we understand that we are uniquely us, and we are experiencing ourselves.

It means we recognize our own feelings, character, and motivations as being unique to ourselves.”

What it means for your relationship

Your sigma partner’s self-awareness, needless to say, can help make things work out for good. As psychologist Judith Jordan explained in her interview:

“People who have relational self-awareness can name their internal feelings, listen to feedback from their partner, own their part in a relationship problem, among other relationship skills.”

8) He’s real

Sigma males are the opposite of fake people. How they act in private is how they’ll act in public – plain and simple.

They won’t pretend to be this and that just to impress people. They don’t have a filter, which may sometimes get him (and you) in trouble!

What it means for your relationship

A sigma male’s authenticity can be too much to handle for most. But if you’re dating one, this characteristic is something for which you have to be thankful.

For starters, you don’t have to worry about him lying and pretending to impress you. See, if he can lie just like that, just imagine how easy it’ll be for him to lie for the entirety of the relationship.

With a sigma male, what you see is what you get. Trust me, that’s one of the best things you could ask for in a partner!

9) He’s confident

Confidence is indeed sexy. While alphas are often known to exude this, sigma males possess a lot of confidence too. It may not always be obvious, though, being the loner they naturally are.

While the alpha’s confidence is brought about by the way he talks and carries himself, the sigma’s confidence exudes from his authenticity, fairness, and self-awareness.

What it means for your relationship

A confident person won’t waste time on many things, which, as you’ll find out, is beneficial for your relationship.

He won’t engage in negative self-talk.

He won’t fixate on successes – or failures.

He won’t worry obsessively.

With these qualities, you’re sure to have a healthy, peaceful relationship with your sigma male.

10) He’s highly motivated

As a lone wolf, he won’t wait on the world to be ready. He has the fire inside him – internal motivation, if you will – that keeps him going (and going, and going!)

As Peter Economy describes in his Inc. article:

“They are internally driven–not pushed–toward new adventures, the unfolding journey, and the possible outcomes–they relish challenging themselves, learning, and exploring.”

What it means for your relationship

It can be a boon with an unmotivated partner. It’ll make you feel as if the world is on your shoulders (newsflash: it probably is.)

Well, you don’t have to worry about the lack of motivation when dating a sigma.

In fact, he’ll be the one to push you whenever he sees you dilly-dallying. You may even find yourself more successful in your career, thanks to the infectious motivation of your sigma male.

11) He’s flexible

No, I’m not talking about being physically flexible (though he might be, who knows? *wink*)

What I mean here is a sigma male is pretty much adaptable, unlike alpha or beta males who are relatively rigid. He can blend well with anybody, anywhere – even if what he’s doing is outside his comfort zone.

What it means for your relationship

Needless to say, your sigma male’s flexibility will do wonders for your relationship.

“Being psychologically flexible in relationships is necessary for keeping the relationship feeling balanced, fair, and intimate,” explains Melissa Thompson, LMFT, in an interview.

She adds:

“Being psychologically flexible allows you to see the other person’s side and work on a compromise. This can bring safety and trust into a relationship and allow [someone] to feel heard and seen. It also allows you to have difficult conversations about working toward a deeper feeling of intimacy.”

12) He’s silent

The sigma male archetype is known to be a man of few words. He won’t talk a lot and chatter away, but that doesn’t mean he’ll let himself be pushed around.

As I’ve mentioned, he’s got the motivation to get things done. He just doesn’t need the fanfare and acclamation that alpha males crave.

What it means for your relationship

As a quiet person, he can catch everything around him. He’s the best observer, for he knows how to look, listen, and wait.

So if something goes wrong, you can expect your sigma male to notice it immediately. He’s a great listener, too, as you’ll find out below.

13) …But he’s a great listener

Guys get the rap for being not-so-good listeners. But that’s not the case with the sigma males, no. They know how to listen – and they do so mindfully.

As I’ve mentioned, these lone wolves are flexible people – a quality that allows them to listen more effectively than other males. They also know what to say – and when to say it.

What it means for your relationship

Great things, of course!

How often have you been burned by a boyfriend who doesn’t listen to you? With a sigma male, you don’t have to worry about your thoughts falling to deaf ears. Your lone wolf date would’ve surely listened to your plights, and he’s more than ready to give sensible advice to you.

PS: Make sure to follow them – he knows what he’s talking about, after all!

14) He may have questionable morality

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, right?

Well, this is not always the case with sigma males. They view morality differently, which may appear ‘questionable’ to some.

As HackSpirit founder Lachlan Brown explains in his article:

“Sigma males can be righteous protectors of what they believe is right or wrong, or they can be cynical and jaded; either way, their capability makes them a force to be reckoned with in regards to the status quo.”

What it means for your relationship

The sigma’s morally gray thinking doesn’t necessarily mean they’re bad people. As Lachlan reminds his readers – especially those who are dating sigma males:

“It does mean that they need to understand the logic behind everything they do and support.

“If they don’t, they’ll be hard-pressed to actually put their effort into doing something that seems stupid to them.”

So yes, it’s a matter of helping him see rhyme and reason. Remember: a sigma male is a fair and flexible person – not to mention a great listener. As long as you show him the logic of things, he won’t hesitate to see the other way.

15) He can be an alpha if he wants

Being confident and flexible, a sigma male can easily be an alpha – granted he wants to be one.

After all, “the alpha male often has a lot of charisma and confidence and is a natural leader. He’s a go-getter who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to take risks in order to get it.”

And, based on what I’ve gathered on top, the sigma male possesses these qualities already. The only difference is they don’t flaunt them as the alphas do.

What it means for your relationship

While alpha men often get the rap for being controlling, they have pretty lovely qualities too.

And, should you find your sigma date slowly transforming into an alpha, worry not, for it means he’ll be (if he already isn’t) more confident, caring, and protective.

Bottomline

By now, you should know the surprising signs you’re dating a sigma male. And if your man has ticked all the boxes, then congratulations! You’re dating one of the best archetypes in the dating world.

That said, the key now is getting through to your ‘lone wolf’ man in a way that empowers both him and you.

I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier. By appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change as early as today.

With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge, be sure to check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

Written by Raychel Ria Agramon

I'm Raye, a nurse licensed in both the Philippines and the US. I also have a Master's degree in Public Management.

Just like helping my patients, I like to empower & motivate readers with research-backed articles.

You can reach me at [email protected]

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