It’s a big relief when your life starts to get on track.
But how can you tell the difference between a temporary high and a real pattern of improvement?
Here’s how to find out if you’re becoming the person you’re meant to be or not.
1) You’re constantly becoming more self-aware
As we go through life we either become more self-aware or more righteous.
That’s my theory, anyway.
To be fair, our experiences are valid and there are many times we are right and others are wrong.
There are many times when we deserve better and we don’t get it.
But self-awareness is what comes about when you start noticing your blind spots.
You become aware of untapped potential that you may have missed before and weaknesses you may have previously overlooked.
The more self-aware you become the more you’ll know that you’re becoming exactly who you need to be in life.
2) You’ve grappled with your demons
Next up we come to dealing with our shadow. This is the side of ourselves where we store all our repressed desires, fears and instincts.
The shadow isn’t necessarily “bad” it’s generally just unacknowledged and pushed to the side.
As we begin to come face-to-face with these unexplored dark corners of our psyche, we realize they aren’t that scary after all and that many of our fears, frustrations and sorrows have very deep roots.
These roots have plenty they can teach us and things we can learn by facing them and understanding them.
Why have you always been intimidated by your mother and drawn to time alone?
Why have you always wanted to prove that you’re “worthy” in other people’s eyes and feared that you’re not?
Welcome to your shadow! It’s showing you that you’ve always been who you needed to be and that even the “scary” parts of you aren’t so scary or alien after all.
3) You’re OK with being disliked
When you’re playing out a role that others want for you, it’s common to crave validation and want desperately to be liked.
That’s why one of the strongest signals that you’re turning into exactly who you should be is that you’re OK with people not liking you.
It’s not that you want to be disliked (that’s a whole other can of worms about seeking out the victim mentality).
It’s just that you’re not looking for anybody else to give you that stamp of approval.
You may be attracted to a woman who says you’re too nerdy or too short for her, or you may be into a guy who says you’re not smart enough to really interest him.
So be it! You’re not waiting on anybody else to tell you that it’s OK to be you!
4) You’re looking for companionship but not completion
When it comes to romance, you are open to a relationship, but you’re not looking for any missing pieces.
You don’t want to be “completed,” you want to be complete together.
There’s a very important distinction in that, because the more we seek to find our other half without first owning who we are and loving ourselves the worse it often becomes.
Think about it:
When you already love your own company then you give somebody else the gift of something you truly love! (You!)
If you don’t particularly like your own company, you’re asking somebody to care and value something you don’t really want yourself! (You!)
It makes a lot of sense when you think about it.
5) You’re going after your goals with all of your heart
Becoming who you’re meant to be has a lot to do with what you’re actually doing, not just how you’re feeling or your frame of reality.
You’re pursuing your goals with your whole heart and working hard.
You have something you want to accomplish in the world (or in your personal life) that’s driving you.
You’ve discovered your mission and you’re working with others or all by yourself to make it come true and learning from failures and missteps along the way.
This will often include giving back to others and being a valuable asset in the world around you.
Just remember that it always has to start with being a valuable asset to yourself first.
6) You’re able to welcome constructive criticism and feedback
Nobody particularly likes criticism, it goes against our nature!
But when you know deep in your gut that you’re becoming who you’re meant to be, then criticism hits different.
You’re able to think about it without feeling personally wounded.
Are there things about myself I can improve?
Are there ways I can improve at my job?
Are there people I could treat a little better in my life?
When you’re becoming the best version of yourself, you’re able to think about feedback and criticism in a mature and reasonable way without feeling lessened by it.
7) You’re able to move on from the injuries and regrets of the past
The injustices and wrongs of the past are not something you should ever forget about.
But they are something you need to be able and willing to move on from in order to live your life in the present day.
From relationships and career to friendships and physical or mental health challenges, the past has plenty of baggage that it’s ready to saddle us down with.
It takes a concerted act of will to say:
“Today I will live my life. I haven’t forgotten about you, past, but today I’m choosing to start fresh.”
Just try it!
8) The future gives you butterflies in your stomach
What happens when you think about the future?
It may be a feeling of fear, a feeling of excitement, vague confusion or even nothing at all…
When you’re becoming who you’re supposed to be, the future fills you with vague excitement.
You feel like whatever happens it’s going to be worth sticking around for and might even exceed your expectations.
Even if you’re in a substandard situation right now, you have a feeling in your gut that you’re going to make some changes and discover some opportunities that start shifting the momentum in your favor.
You’re definitely becoming who you’re supposed to be…
Looking in the mirror…
When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
I don’t just mean the visible physical characteristics, I mean the deeper person underneath, your true character.
What do you feel? What do you think when you see yourself?
What do you feel in your heart?
Are you living up to your potential and becoming who you’re meant to be?
Even if you find that you’re not, don’t worry: there’s still fire in your belly and plenty of road ahead.
Let’s travel it together!
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