Adrian Volenik
If you’re anything like me, you might not feel very likable. But if people respond to you in favorable ways, the reality is you pretty much are.
There are many signs we can observe that people like us. It doesn’t matter whether we see or feel this. It’s just a fact.
So let’s find out what signs show us this so we can continue building strong relationships with others.
1) People often enjoy being around you
The first sign that you’re likable is that people enjoy being around you. They may seek your company and show enthusiasm when interacting with you.
Does that sound familiar? Do people invite you to hang out with them? If so, they enjoy your presence and look forward to spending time with you.
If you talk to them in an engaging, interesting, and meaningful way, it’s no surprise they want to hang out with you more.
If that doesn’t seem right, here are more signs of likeability.
2) People feel comfortable approaching you
Do people feel comfortable approaching you and initiating conversations? It’s because your body language, facial expressions, and open demeanor invite others to engage with you.
This is no secret. If you appear casual and have an inviting persona or aura around you, of course people will want to meet and talk to you, even if it’s for a minute or two.
If you haven’t yet, use this “superpower” to engage with others meaningfully. Don’t have an end goal or agenda when you do this.
Just try to know them and welcome them as they approach you. If you can help them with something, even better.
3) People frequently smile at you
Not everyone likes to approach others out of the blue. People are often too shy to even try something like that, and I’m not even talking romantically.
But if you look up at a person and they are smiling at you, it means they find you interesting and likable.
People don’t typically smile at others except in professional circumstances, i.e., to take your order at a restaurant or to greet you in a store. Even then, most aren’t pleasant enough to do that.
This is more true in some countries than others.
But smiles are a natural response to likable people. If you notice others smiling when they’re around you, it’s because they enjoy your company (or want a nice tip).
4) You have a positive attitude
Another kick-ass sign that you’re likable is your positive attitude toward life and people.
No one likes a grouch or a robot interacting with them. There’s a reason why we respond to positive people with our positivity, too.
However, there is a thing called toxic positivity, where people expect others to be positive no matter what. That’s no way to live life. We should all express our genuine emotions, recognize them in others, and not force them to be perpetually happy when they aren’t.
But at the end of the day, if you maintain a healthy and positive outlook on life and often find the good in situations and people, they will be drawn to you.
Think about that for a moment.
5) You have a sense of humor
Having a great sense of humor is another “superpower” you can have that you can use to disarm people and “make” them like you.
When you have a lighthearted and positive sense of humor, you can bring joy to your social interactions. Likewise, making others laugh or creating a positive atmosphere contributes to your overall likability.
There’s a good reason why there are so many comedians out there. People love laughing more than ever. We also love hearing funny and embarrassing stories.
And some of us even like to get roasted by funny people. This last thing is something I never understood, as my ego wouldn’t be able to take it.
But tell me, is there anything better than watching celebrities you don’t like getting absolutely demolished with clever jokes?
6) You demonstrate a genuine interest in others
Apart from a great sense of humor, you know what else people really like? Talking about themselves. But they also like people that have a genuine interest in them and their stories.
If you can actively listen and “endure” other peoples’ stories, they will definitely like you. But don’t put up a show. Take the time to ask about their lives and remember details about their experiences.
This will indicate you’re a caring and attentive person. A quality often associated with likability.
I take the lead from the golden rule in almost every conversation I have. This means respecting and treating others as I would like to be treated in that situation.
I extend this courtesy to annoying callers trying to sell me stuff I don’t need or care about. Hey, they’re just doing their jobs.
It also means I accept people for who they are.
7) You accept people for who they are
Accepting people for who they are seems to be a dying trait if we were to judge by social media, where everyone’s at each others’ throats.
Nevertheless, not being overly critical or deprecating toward people is a non-judgmental approach that creates a safe and accepting environment and makes others feel comfortable around you.
Approaching others without preconceived notions or biases makes them feel welcome and comfortable being themselves.
It also lowers their guard so they confide in you.
8) People confide in you
Indeed, if people seem to always tell you their feelings, thoughts, and secrets, they find you likable and trustworthy.
People who trust you with their personal information know you’ll keep it confidential. Being a trustworthy confidant also helps you build strong bonds of friendship.
You probably also have a natural ability to empathize with others and understand their emotions.
Apart from that, you can provide thoughtful insights and constructive suggestions to help them solve or endure their challenges.
And lastly, if people can count on you to follow through on your promises, they likely see you as trustworthy and dependable, which can increase your likability.
Let’s see what other signs there are.
9) You encourage others
I love it when people encourage me in my endeavors. Encouragement means a lot to many other people too.
It’s because it’s a powerful tool in nurturing a positive and supportive environment, whether in the workplace, among friends, or within a family.
When you encourage others, it suggests you understand their struggles, challenges, and aspirations. You’re able to put yourself in their shoes and provide the support they need.
Sometimes we all just need a compliment and a word of motivation to get us through our day.
Or a “Hang in there” cat poster.
10) You express gratitude
Recognizing and acknowledging the value others bring to your life is a precious trait in the thankless world we found ourselves in.
There’s nothing worse than encountering entitled and ungrateful people. If you’ve ever worked with people, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.
It’s especially heartbreaking how some people treat others that are in a lower (social) position than they are.
So if you’re expressing gratitude and respect toward others, good for you. It’s precisely why people like you.
11) You display good manners
Expressing gratitude is also a sign of good manners. If you display good manners and treat others with respect and kindness, it’s no wonder people like you, even if you don’t see it.
Simple acts of politeness, such as saying please and thank you, contribute to your likability.
When you display good manners and politeness, you also make a positive first impression.
Your civil and mannerly behavior, such as greeting others with a smile, using polite language, and practicing good etiquette, immediately puts people at ease and sets the tone for a pleasant interaction.
Politeness is fundamental in professional settings where colleagues, superiors, and clients will perceive you as reliable, approachable, and professional because of it.
It’s also a sign of good upbringing on the part of your parents or guardians.
Final thoughts
It’s perfectly normal to have days when you feel less likable or popular. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
And remember, it all comes from within you. There are many ways you can love and believe in yourself again.
