10 signs you’re such a strong woman that it intimidates others

It’s nothing new, for centuries society has felt intimidated by strong women.

Your strength might light up a room and put your talents on display for all to see. Many people will be drawn to you for this. But others might feel threatened by it.

Let’s check out some of the telltale signs you’re such a strong woman that it intimidates others.

1) You speak your mind

You’re a straight-talker.

You prefer to say what’s on your mind rather than waffle or beat around the bush. But your penchant for the truth may not always go down so well.

Don’t get me wrong:

Blurting anything out, simply because it’s what you really think, can be tactless if it’s done without consideration for others.

But there’s also nothing wrong with honesty. It can be the key to direct and clear communication.

It lets us all know where we stand.

2) People say you’re sassy

Sassy women might have been chastised as a child for “backchat”.

They could have been made to feel like their natural larger-than-life character was “too much” and they needed to tone it down. 

Personally, I think being spirited and lively is a good thing. It’s strange how the word sassy makes having a personality sound like a bad thing!

You might be loud, bold, and vivacious.

Maybe you can be a bit cheeky at times, but it’s all good-natured.

It’s not necessarily even a sign of confidence (although it definitely can be). Plenty of women act in ways that seem confident, even when deep down they feel insecure.

I know there have been plenty of times when I’ve wished I could blend into the background. Standing out can feel very unwanted at times. But my larger-than-life personality doesn’t make that easy.

Maybe you’ve felt the same.

You genuinely can’t help yourself, it’s who you are. And we should all embrace that rather than try to stifle it.

3) You don’t back down from a challenge

“A strong woman looks a challenge dead in the eye, and gives it a wink”

— Gina Carey

All that strength allows you to be more resilient and adaptable. As a consequence, you might not be as held back by fear as so many people are.

You relish a new opportunity, adventure, or experience. Sure, it can be scary, but all things worthwhile are, right?

Perhaps you love adventure sports. You might constantly be learning something new. You’re happy to play devil’s advocate and throw yourself into a lively debate.

You dive in and give things a go.

You know that taking a few knocks in life is actually how you build your strength.

It can be confusing to see why others would be intimidated by this. But there will always be those who feel threatened by or jealous of someone else’s fearlessness.

Ultimately it’s because courage takes guts. Guts that they wish they had, and so envy in you.

4) You can be a bit feisty in the heat of the moment

Admittedly, there can be a very fine line between knowing how to stick up for yourself and being a bit defensive or even hostile.

Every strong woman needs to learn the difference. Just because we have the strength to steamroller over others, doesn’t mean we should.

But if you have passionate blood in your veins, you may show that in the heat of the moment.

Perhaps you can have a tendency to raise your voice or put someone in their place. Let’s just say you’re no pushover!

Luckily we can all learn better ways to keep our cool and handle conflict, that way a feisty nature doesn’t need to land us in hot water.

5) You make your needs and wants pretty clear

They may call you a diva for it. But you aren’t shy about asking for what you want.

That’s not the same as being demanding, selfish, or unreasonable.

It is actually a sign of healthy self-esteem when we know how to communicate our expectations and desires to others (in a reasonable way).

Many women fall foul of people-pleasing behaviors. They want to make others happy and are prepared to constantly put themselves second to try to do so.

It’s appropriate to be considerate of other people and accommodate their wishes. We can’t have things our own way all the time.

But your voice is just as valid, and you should be able to use it to let people know what you want.

And importantly, as we will see next, what you don’t want too!

6) You say “no”

It’s strange how challenging these two little words can be.

For the very reasons we just discussed, we can worry that turning someone down will make them dislike us.

So plenty of folks end up saying yes when really they want to say no.

Perhaps they agree to go on a date when they’re not interested in that person.

They may say yes to drinks on Friday night with a friend because they feel bad for “letting them down”.

They might agree to take on extra work that leaves them feeling burnt out because they are scared of the reaction if they don’t.

These sorts of scenarios are so commonplace that a woman who flat-out says “no” can ruffle feathers.

It’s a sort of clear assertiveness that not everyone is used to. But saying no is your right, and if they don’t like it, it’s their problem.

7) You’ve got a wicked sense of humor

We all like funny people right?

Well, not quite.

Here’s the not-so-funny thing about a woman with a great sense of humor — it can be intimidating to some.


Because your clever wit is a sign of your intelligence. Sadly, some people don’t like it when they feel like you outshine them.

Research has shown that humor can be really attractive to someone. But one study noted that whilst women prefer a funny guy, guys prefer a woman who laughs at their jokes.

Call me a cynic, but maybe that’s because some men out there still feel threatened by a woman who shows that she is sharp and strong.

This leads me nicely to our next point…

8) Guys get really nervous around you

If you have a habit of making men tongue-tied around you, then your underlying strength could be the culprit.

They get really shy when you are around and don’t know what to say. They may even seem reluctant to approach you.

Some men who don’t have secure egos can see a strong woman and be quick to assume she must be conceited or “stuck-up”.

Rather than be a reflection on you, it’s a reflection of them. They are scared they don’t measure up.

9) You’re known as being a ball-buster at work

You’re known as a hard-ass who doesn’t take any nonsense.

This whole expression of being a “ball buster” is meant as a derogatory concept.

I even looked it up in the dictionary, and it’s defined as:

‘A dominating or threatening woman who destroys a man’s self-confidence.’

What a laughable concept. It sounds like some sort of weird supervillain who goes around stealing fragile men’s self-esteem.

But at its heart, maybe it really means that you can hold your own in a room full of guys and not feel the pressure.

You’re not going to be shushed or ignored. You can be assertive when you need to be.

The truth is that many men display the same sorts of behaviors and it doesn’t raise any eyebrows.

But when women do the same, they can still be unfairly labeled as bossy.

10) You don’t let other people’s opinions control you

It’s not that you don’t give a damn what people think, but you’re not going to let it get to you.

You know that you can’t please all the people all of the time. There are always going to be those who don’t get you.

Rather than waste your precious energy wondering why, you’d rather focus your time on those people who you do vibe with.

Because as they say, your vibe attracts your tribe. And you want fellow strong women around you to lift you up and support one another.

So you don’t pay too much mind to the commentary of gossips, naysayers, or nasty people.

When we like ourselves, that’s what matters most.


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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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