Felicity Frankish
Strong, independent women are an inspiration to everyone.
But some men don’t even recognise what’s right in front of them.
They are so determined to take on the strong, patriarchal role, they don’t even recognise just how strong and independent you are, without their help.
If you’re caught up in one of those relationships, you might be looking for some signs that you truly are a strong, independent woman.
Here are 15 signs to let you know – even if he doesn’t feel like it.
1) You lead, don’t follow
Are you the type of person who likes to find your way around the rules?
Less likely to just sit back and accept the way things are?
Always willing to stand up for change when it’s needed?
These are all indications that you’re a leader, not a follower. You aren’t the type to just sit back and leave things as they are just for the sake of it. If change needs to happen or rules need to be broken, they’re you’re ready to take front and centre to do so.
This is a true sign of a strong, independent woman, who isn’t afraid to speak up when she needs to.
As they say, rules were made to be broken. The fact that you’re willing to stand up to them when you need to shows just how strong and independent you are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
2) You’re aware of your faults and insecurities
We all have faults and insecurities. It’s human nature and there’s nothing wrong with it.
It’s how we deal with and accept these flaws and insecurities that determines the type of person we are.
If you’re aware of what your flaws and insecurities are and make a point of working on them each and every day, it’s a good sign that you’re a strong and independent woman.
It shows that you’re looking for ways to learn and grow each and every day, despite these feelings you have and that shows true inner strength.
You’re helping yourself feel more comfortable in your skin each and every day, rather than letting your fears and insecurities take over you.
That’s a true sign of strength no matter what anyone else says.
3) You don’t shy away from decision-making
Strong women have no problem making the hard decisions when they need to be made.
Are you able to put your emotions aside and look at a situation objectively to make a decision? This is a great sign of strength.
It shows that you are able to step back from a situation and assess it from a logical point of view. You have the ability to sit down and actually listen to yourself, weighing up the options to make the best decision in the moment.
If this sounds like you, then you’re showing great strength and independence already in your daily life. Well done!
4) You’re happy on your own
One of the best signs that you’re a strong, independent woman is that you don’t need anyone else in your life. You certainly don’t need a man to make you happy.
You’re perfectly happy and fine on your own.
Believe it or not, some people can’t even handle being on their own for a single day. They aren’t happy to eat on their own. Never want to go out on their own.
For many, this is just their normal.
If that’s not the case for you, then take it as a sign that you really are a strong, independent woman. You don’t need anyone else to lift you up or be with you every moment. You’re more than capable on your own and aren’t afraid of showing it.
In fact, you might have a lone wolf personality. Lone wolves enjoy spending time alone because they know themselves well. If you think you’re a lone wolf, then you might relate to the below video.
5) You can accept criticism
We all know that criticism can be hard to take on board. Many people think this type of feedback is just about bringing them down.
It often feels like a personal attack at ourselves. As a result, people block it out and build walls to protect themselves from these negative comments.
But the truth is, taking on board criticism from others can help us learn and grow as a person. And it takes a strong character to be able to do this.
Strong people don’t care about negative comments. In fact, they welcome them as an opportunity to improve on themselves.
They are able to work out which comments actually hold merit, and which ones have been designed to hurt. The latter they can ignore and move on. The former they use as a chance for self-improvement.
Does this sound like you? Are you able to take on criticism without letting it get to you? This is what makes you the strong and independent woman you really are.
6) You have goals
We all need goals in life. They are what motivate us to keep going each and every day.
A strong person not only has goals, but they are adaptable to change.
For some, when their goals change, their entire world comes crashing down with it. They are unable to pivot and find a new goal.
For a strong person, they simply sidestep. They reassess and set themselves up with a new goal on this new path.
This is a true sign of strength and independence that shows you’re completely in control of your life and able to make it through whatever is thrown your way.
Let’s face it, life is unpredictable.
It’s how you deal with this that shows your true strength.
7) You own your opinions
Having and holding your own opinion is a sign of strength and independence in itself.
It shows that you’re not the type to just blindly follow what everyone else is saying and doing. You’re going to form your own opinion and you’re not afraid to express it.
At the same time, a truly strong person is willing to own these opinions. People disagreeing with you isn’t going to make you back down altogether.
Instead, you own your opinion, while also listening to theirs. In the end, you end up agreeing with their view. This is another sign of strength, being able to recognise when others are right.
Not everyone is strong enough to do this. They either give in at the first sign of an argument, or argue so fiercely and are unable to back down no matter what.
A strong person knows when to speak up and when to back down.
8) You’re not afraid to ask
Whether you need help with fixing your fridge, or help on a matter at work, being able to ask for help when you need it is a strong sign of a strong, independent woman.
Many people mistakenly think asking questions is a sign of weakness. Showing that you aren’t sure in a situation and being brave enough to admit it, is actually a sign of strength.
And this strength will only get you ahead in life. It will help you work out problems faster and get ahead, rather than struggling through and trying to do everything on your own. Let’s face it, you’re not always the right person for the job.
Being unable to ask for help when you need it will only hold you back.
If you’re confident enough to be able to ask questions and get help when you need it, it’s a good sign you’re a strong and independent woman.
9) People come to you
Whether it’s to organise that next girls’ night out or to take charge on a project at work, if you happen to be everyone’s go-to person, it’s a good sign you’re a strong, independent woman.
It shows that people rely on you for a number of different situations, because they know you’re dependable. People know that you’re not going to let them down.
This is a true sign of strength. Weak people aren’t dependable. They second guess themselves and can’t be counted on to be reliable.
If the opposite is true of you, then you can rest assured you’re a strong, independent woman.
10) You value yourself
Self-love is hard for many people. They are unable to look past their faults to see the best in themselves.
If you’re able to value yourself, whether it’s your time, or who you are, it’s a true sign of just how strong you are.
It means you’re not going to let anyone push you around and step all over you, because you simply think too much of yourself to let that happen. This is a huge strength.
It also means you’re not fishing for compliments from others, or relying on anyone else to pull you up. You achieve that all on your own, making you a strong and independent woman. You’re not going to find yourself in a relationship just for the sake of it.
It shows you don’t need a man, instead, you’re open to finding one who truly brings out the best in you. It’s a great position to find yourself in.
11) You can forgive yourself
Following on from this, you’re also able to forgive yourself when you need to.
We all make mistakes in life.
It’s how you move on from these mistakes that determines your strength of character.
If you’re the type of person to huddle up in bed every time you make mistake and hide away from the world, it suggests you aren’t very strong or independent.
However, if you own your mistakes, forgive yourself and learn from them, then it shows strength. You don’t let yourself crumble under pressure, but you do allow yourself to learn from what has taken place.
It shows that you’re able to accept that we’re all human and we all make mistakes…why would you be any different! You’re strong enough to forgive and move on.
You should be proud, this is a great characteristic to have.
12) You can say no
We can’t be everything for everyone. There are times we need to put ourselves and our values first and simply say no to people. Sure, it can be hard. But true strength is being able to do it when you need to.
Saying no really can be one of the most difficult things to do.
And many people mistakenly think saying no is for the weak. Like it’s an admission that you can’t do something.
But it’s not. Instead, it’s letting the world know you have values and priorities that you choose to put first. And are willing to stand up for them when you need to.
No is a strength that very few possess and a very good sign of just how independent you really are.
Embrace it.
13) You’re more than happy to call people out
One of those true signs of strength is being able to call people out on their bullshit.
After all, if you don’t do it, who will?
Whether someone has a terrible attitude, is treating someone else horribly, or simply spreading lies around, they need to be stopped.
Someone needs to stand up to them.
Often, people are afraid to call others out on their behaviour because they’re scared of the repercussions. They’re worried about what others might think of them.
A strong person doesn’t worry about this, they simply act because they know they have to. They aren’t worried about the repercussions; they simply deal with them when they come.
Strong people just don’t care if they’re seen as the bad person in the room. They stand up for what’s right.
14) You can walk away
Some people think walking away is a sign of weakness, but it’s actually the opposite.
It’s a sign of great strength.
It means you’re able to recognise when a situation is unhealthy and walk away when you need to.
You won’t let being alone hold you back.
You won’t let fear of repercussions hold you back.
You draw on your strengths to pull you through, which is a huge credit to who you are as a person.
Not all circumstances are easy to walk away from. Whether it means leaving a relationship, or walking away from friends. It takes great strength and independence, so you should be proud of yourself.
15) You’re always ready for a challenge
If there’s one way to show through strength and independence, it’s by stepping out of your comfort zone and taking on new challenges when they arise.
Weak people shy away from challenges. They aren’t willing to put themselves out there and let their fears get the better of them.
Strong people are always ready to step up.
It also shows that you acknowledge that you can always do better. You’re not perfect (and neither is anyone else).
This means you’re happy to step out of your comfort zone to improve on yourself. You’re a constant work on progress and you’re not afraid to do that hard work. This is a true sign that you are a strong and independent person, so own it.
You work on it everyday
Strength and independence come from within. While you may not recognise each and every sign in you, being able to see some is a great start.
You can consider yourself a work in progress, and keep striving to let that strength and independence shine through.
Don’t let attitude or views of those around you hold you back.
Remember, their opinion doesn’t matter. Focus on yours. Focus on you.
Why doesn’t he see my strength?
Now that you’ve determined you are the strong and independent woman you thought you were, you might be wondering why he doesn’t see it?
It’s a good question.
Some men don’t see it because they simply don’t want to.
Their natural instinct is to revert to the patriarchy where men are strong and women are weak.
Where he is the one who needs to look after you.
He sees you this way because he wants to see you this way.
Put simply, it’s him, not you.
So, how do you go about changing it?
Just keep being who you are. Don’t let his attitude affect you. Let that strength and independence shine through in everything that you do.
In time, he will begin to step back and realise you don’t need him. You’re fine on your own.
And if he wants to stick around, it’s only going to be because you want him to.
After all, you’re a strong, independent woman and there’s no denying that (as much as he might want to).
And we need more women like you in the world.
