9 signs you’re a really lovely person, according to psychology

There’s a stark difference between being nice and being genuinely lovely. And let’s be realistic here, it’s not always easy to tell which one you are.

Being nice can sometimes be a façade, a mask we put on to navigate social interactions. But being lovely? That comes from the heart.

Psychology has a lot to say about what makes us lovely human beings and there are 9 telltale signs that reveal if you’re authentically lovely.

Now, let’s join me in this journey through these pointers and see how many boxes you tick, shall we?

1) Empathy reigns supreme

No doubt, being tuned in to what others are going through is a big deal in building awesome connections. Plus, it’s a dead giveaway that you’re just a genuinely lovely (and super cool) person.

According to Psychology Today, empathy is all about getting where someone else is coming from, feeling their vibe, and understanding their deal, rather than just being stuck in your own perspective. It’s like stepping into someone else’s kicks.

Just think about it. When your buddy is going through a rough patch, do you pick up on their struggles? Are you there, all ears and ready to offer some comfort? Being able to vibe with others shows you’ve got the emotional smarts and genuinely give a damn about their happiness.

But here’s the lowdown – real empathy isn’t about fixing people or dropping wisdom bombs on them without an invite. It’s more about getting it, listening up, and having their back when they need it.

2) Kindness without expecting anything in return

Let me tell you a little story about something that happened to me last week.

I was coming out of the grocery store, hands full of heavy bags, when I noticed an elderly woman struggling to load her groceries into her car. Without a second thought, I put my bags down and offered to help her.

Now, I didn’t do this because I was looking for something in return. It was just an instinctual reaction, a genuine desire to assist someone in need. That’s what kindness without expectations is all about.

In the world of psychology, throwing down a selfless move like that is basically a sign that you’re caring, loving, and yes, lovely. It’s not about scoring points or getting a shoutout. It’s just about spotting a gap and filling it because you can.

Ask yourself: Do you naturally step up for others without any quid pro quo? If so, you’ve just nailed another point on the “lovely person” checklist.

3) Being a good listener

Listening is an art, and not everyone’s a pro at it. But those who are, they exude this special kind of coolness that’s just too good to resist.

In a modern society where everyone’s in a hurry to throw in their two cents, stumbling upon someone genuinely interested in hearing your thoughts is like a breath of fresh air.

Check this out: Research from the International Listening Association has shown that we spend about 45% of our waking hours listening. Wild, right? But get this – we only retain about 25% of what we hear. That means, there’s a lot of room for the rest of us to level up our listening game.

If you’re the type who gives your full attention when others talk, doesn’t cut in, and throws in some solid follow-up questions, you’re probably one cool cat. It’s a sign that you respect others and value their input. And believe me, that’s a trait that doesn’t go unnoticed.

4) Recognizing and appreciating others

In a world that’s always on the go, we might easily breeze past recognizing and giving props for others’ actions and wins. But guess what? That’s a quality deeply woven into the fabric of lovely people.

Whether it’s giving a shoutout to a colleague for acing a project, appreciating your partner’s solid support, or just giving props for a stranger’s killer outfit, these moments of acknowledgment can seriously brighten someone’s day.

And it’s not just about saying thanks. It’s all about spotting the little things, throwing out some gratitude, and making folks feel heard and seen. And the result? People can’t help but see you as genuinely awesome.

5) Authenticity shines through

Being real is a quality that gets a lot of love and props. There’s just something super cool about folks who stay true to themselves and aren’t afraid to flaunt their authentic selves, flaws and all.

Psychology tells us that being genuine builds trust and keeps relationships on the healthy track. The real deal people are cool with sharing their feelings, owning up when they mess up, and standing firm for what they believe in.

No fake acts or pretending to be someone else for them. They’re all about embracing every bit of who they are, quirks and everything. A person who’s comfy in their own skin and doesn’t feel the need to put on a show for others is definitely a seriously lovely person. 

6) You spread positivity

Life’s not always a walk in the park, right? We all get that. But how we handle the rough patches speaks volumes about who we are.

Lovely people are like positivity superheroes, even when times get tough. They’ve got this talent for finding the silver lining in any storm and spreading good vibes like confetti.

They’re like walking cheer factories, and their positive vibes are so catchy. With their sense of humor, uplifting words, or just their bright outlook, they can flip any frown upside down.

I don’t know about you, but I find it hard to resist someone who’s always pushing for the best in others and bringing joy wherever they roll. These people are like a burst of sunshine on a gloomy day – too lovely to be true. 

7) You’re not afraid of showing emotions

I remember a time when I was watching a movie with a group of friends. It was a heart-wrenching film, and I found myself tearing up at the emotional climax. As I looked around, I noticed I was the only one.

At first, I felt embarrassed. But then, I realized that it’s okay to be moved by something and show it. It’s okay to wear your heart on your sleeve.

Lovely people aren’t afraid to display their emotions. They laugh heartily, cry openly when they’re moved, and aren’t above expressing their love or fear. This emotional honesty shows a level of vulnerability that is both brave and endearing.

8) You respect differences

The world we’re living in is incredibly diverse and dynamic. We’re bound to run into folks with all sorts of opinions, beliefs, and lifestyles that might not always reasonate with us. 

Lovely people? They’re the ones who get that and give a nod to those differences. They don’t see them as roadblocks in relationships but more like chances to pick up some wisdom.

They’re all about knowing that everyone’s got their own story and viewpoint, and they totally dig the coolness that diversity brings. No judging or picking sides; they’re all about understanding and finding common ground.

Respecting and embracing the entire spectrum of human experiences? That doesn’t just make you lovely – you’re basically a massive banner of acceptance in a world that could use a lot more of that.

9) You genuinely care about others

At the core of it, what really makes someone truly lovely is their genuine care for others.

It’s not about big, impressive stuff. It’s all about the small things – asking how someone’s day is, doing thoughtful gestures, or giving a comforting hug when someone’s feeling down.

Lovely folks prioritize others over themselves, and they do it because they genuinely care, not because they feel they have to.

Your ability to find joy in helping people and making them feel cared for is a testament to your inherently lovely nature.

At the heart of it all

These signs we’ve been chatting about aren’t just things you do – they’re like glimpses into your inner vibe. They show how you roll in the world, how you treat people, and most importantly, they give a peek into how you see yourself.

Whether you check off all the boxes or just a few, don’t forget – being lovely isn’t about gunning for perfection. It’s all about rocking your real self and spreading good vibes wherever you wander.

So, as you do your thing today, take a sec to think about these signs. Do they match up with what you’re doing? How you’re vibing with others? And most importantly, do they vibe with how you see yourself?

Being a lovely person isn’t a finish line; it’s an ongoing trip. And every step you take on this journey adds a sprinkle of loveliness to the world.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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