Tina Fey
We all know that confidence plays an important part in our overall success in life.
Your confidence levels can dictate whether you’re able to win over the apple of your eye. It can be the deciding factor in whether you get that promotion or land a new job.
But it doesn’t just shape how others see us, it also heavily influences how we see ourselves. That’s why our self-belief makes a big difference to our general well-being and happiness.
There is some evidence that a lucky few do get a head start in the confidence stakes. Maybe you are one of them?
That’s because limited research has concluded that a certain amount of confidence could be down to genetics. The good news is that the majority of it is still likely a learned behavior that we can work on.
But if you do seem to have confidence in your blood, you’ll likely notice the following psychological signs.
1) You like yourself and feel good about who you are
Confidence in a nutshell comes down to having a positive self-image.
It’s this positive self-image that allows you to feel like what you do in life will turn out well.
That’s why all the psychology suggests that naturally confident people have a strong belief in their abilities, recognize their worth, and have a healthy level of self-esteem.
Of course, the tricky part is that our life experiences can bring up doubts and insecurities.
When you look at a child, confidence seems to come more effortlessly. They’re far less concerned about how others might see them. They’re just busy doing their thing.
If you:
- Are your own best friend in life
- Seek to support yourself with self-love and self-compassion
- Feed yourself positive self-talk and keep your inner critic in check
…then the chances are your confidence levels will be so much higher because of it.
This positive self-perception has a knock-on effect that helps confidence to grow exponentially.
It also makes it so much easier to back yourself, as we’re about to see.
2) When it comes to both your successes and your failures, you own them
I’m sure everyone would agree:
Confidence is the ultimate in empowerment.
The key difference between those who take ownership in life, and those who play the victim comes down to self-responsibility.
Do you ultimately think that what happens in your life is up to you?
If so, then you probably take a more confident approach in rolling up your sleeves and getting to work.
That not only means acknowledging your role in achieving positive outcomes, but it also demands taking responsibility for your mistakes too.
Being able to take this full accountability demonstrates your self-assurance and determination.
3) You’re strong enough to face a few knocks in life
Our emotional toughness also rests a lot on our confidence.
When we trust ourselves to handle life’s setbacks, we’re better able to face them when they inevitably arise.
Confident people view these knocks along the way as learning opportunities rather than personal failures.
That take on things helps them to bounce back more quickly from disappointments.
More than that, they use negative experiences as important stepping stones toward future success.
4) You aren’t afraid to rise to a challenge
As human beings, we have a natural tendency to seek both security and excitement.
Of course, fulfilling both of those desires can become a difficult balancing act as they often feel at odds with one another.
In order to feel safe enough to embrace risk, we have to have a confident foundation to stand upon.
Even if you aren’t the biggest thrill seeker around, you’ve always appreciated the importance of seeking out challenges.
Confident people are better at stepping out of their comfort zones.
That looks like:
- Having ambitious and setting goals
- Having clear dreams for the future which feel in reach
- Embracing new experiences even when it means moving into unfamiliar territory
Uncertainty is the side effect of growth, but in the wise words of E.E Cummings:
“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
5) Change doesn’t seem to faze you
Some people are totally freaked out by even the slightest change, but not you.
If so, you have your natural confidence to thank.
The more confident we are, the better we adapt and go with the flow.
A lot of that is because our inner confidence helps us to see the world around us as less of a threat.
That way we can see change as an opportunity for growth rather than something to fear.
This flexibility means that you’re simply not stressed out by new circumstances in the way that some people around you are.
6) You have a glass-half-full attitude
I wasn’t blessed with a naturally positive outlook in life.
In fact, mine was hard-earned.
I did a lot of work to shift from having a pessimistic view of the world to an optimistic one. But that’s made me appreciate it all the more because I know firsthand the difference it makes.
A positive mindset helps us navigate life’s ups and downs. Research has shown that it makes us more resilient and satisfied in life.
And as we’ve already noted, resilience and confidence go arm in arm.
A positive outlook fuels your confidence because it inspires you to expect the best in life.
7) You’re good at getting your point across to others
Confidence plays a fundamental part in how well we communicate with others.
It often determines whether we:
- Share our thoughts and opinions with others freely
- Stick up for the things we believe in
- Speak what is on our mind
Confident people are less likely to second guess themselves to the extent that it stifles their expression.
That means:
- You are clear and assertive
- You can listen to others and still maintain your own perspective
- You articulate thoughts and ideas with conviction
- You can comfortably adapt to talk to all sorts of people in lots of different situations
If you’re ticking most of the boxes above, it shows that whilst you’re nice, you’re no pushover.
Confidence is what gives us the self-worth to instill clear boundaries.
8) You show up as yourself
How many times are we told:
“Just be yourself”
Yet doing this isn’t as easy as it sounds. It actually takes bags of confidence, and here’s why:
Embracing authenticity demands vulnerability.
You need to be comfortable in your own skin, and not seek too much of your validation from others.
If you can turn up to a party and just do you, then you have more confidence than most.
The world is full of people wearing masks, and trying too hard to please.
The ability to be true to yourself and live according to your values is a testament to your unwavering confidence.
9) You have open and strong body language
You may have never really given it much thought.
Most of us don’t.
You simply walk how you walk, sit how you sit, etc.
But our bodies send strong messages about how we’re feeling.
Naturally confident people often possess strong body language that reflects their inner assurance.
How?
- They stand tall as opposed to slouching
- They’re totally comfortable with maintaining eye contact
- They have a relaxed and open posture
Their gestures are purposeful and deliberate, and all of these put together just convey a sense of self-assuredness.
10) Once you make a decision you don’t waste time second-guessing yourself
Decisiveness is yet another sign of some deep-rooted confidence.
One study looking at the relationship between confidence and decisiveness concluded that decisive people tend to be more confident about the decisions they’ve made.
We can all get caught up in overthinking. But the problem is that can have a habit of spilling over so that it starts to undermine our self-belief.
Yet, rather than break out into a cold sweat, you calmly and cooly make choices, and once you do, you don’t pick them apart.
It’s not about making slap-dash decisions that lack thought. It’s more about trusting your instincts and believing that you will make the decisions that are best for you.
11) You know yourself really well, both the good and the bad
Blowing smokes up someone’s ass may seem like a good way to give them a little confidence boost. But the research actually contradicts this well-meaning idea.
That’s because studies have pointed to the fact that confident people are pretty good at making accurate self-assessments.
They don’t need to hear they’re wonderful 24-7, they take a far more realistic approach. And that’s key.
That way they can identify their weaknesses as well as their strengths. They can plan for those weaknesses and work on them.
As they do, this only feeds their confidence even more as they grow and improve.
Developing killer confidence is always a work in progress
Maybe you won the genetic lottery and were born full to the brim of self-affirming confidence.
But even then, life can be hard and knock our innate sense of self-esteem.
That’s why it’s important to continue to feed our confidence levels as we go.
By understanding and nurturing the qualities that boost self-belief within us, we can cultivate confidence that feels natural and easy.
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