Louise Logarta
How do you know if people actually like you or are just tolerating you?
If you’ve ever had doubts if the people you interact with on a daily basis regard you well; if you’ve ever wanted to gain more friends; or if you’re just curious, you’ve come to the right place.
In this article, we’re going to touch briefly on why we like being liked and 12 signs you’re a likeable person – even if you are not aware of it.
These signs were gathered from various compilations of traits that likeable people possess. Hopefully, you see some – if not all – of them inside yourself.
Why do we want to be liked in the first place?
Being popular has a lot of benefits.
For instance, just look at politicians and celebrities: their very livelihood relies on the public liking them.
At work, you are more likely to get opportunities because your colleagues and your higher-ups like working with you and get along well with you.
But on a deeper level, we want to be liked simply because we’re human. As the saying goes: “No man is an island.”
12 signs you’re a likeable person
Knowing what makes a person likeable can help you become more aware of what you do and what you say.
Who knows, you might even surprise yourself and find that people actually do like you.
1) People like being around you
This sign is not so difficult to understand. When people find your presence pleasing, they are naturally pulled to you.
If you think about it, spending time together is essential in forming friendships.
Think back on your own experiences: isn’t it a delight to be around pleasant people?
As opposed to being around somebody you don’t like: when we’re with people we don’t like, that part of the brain that deals with fear and aggression light up. Researcher, writer, and professor at Harvard and Rockefeller University, Robert Sapolsky, explained as much in his book, “Why Your Brain Hates Other People”.
2) You’re sincere
To even have a chance at being liked, try being an honest and authentic person.
One of the signs you’re a likeable person is that you’re genuinely glad to meet others, nor do you puff yourself up to look more impressive than you actually are.
When you are being real, people will be drawn to your sincerity and honesty.
3) They can laugh at themselves
Part of your sincerity enables you to laugh at yourself.
You don’t take life too seriously: you’re happy to look silly, and you don’t even mind being poked fun at sometimes – not if it’s meant in jest and it makes others laugh when they really need it.
You’re also comfortable with not always being poised or at their best in all situations.
After all, you’re only human.
And it’s that very fact that lets people know that it’s okay to be silly around you and that they can be themselves as well.
4) You’re kind to people coming from different stations in life
Among the signs you’re a likeable person also lies in your treatment of others.
Otherwise called the Server Test, you treat people of all statuses – whether they’re the President, your boss, your employee, or a waiter – the same.
Yes, it’s true, we tend to treat people a little differently depending on who they are (I mean, if you welcomed King Charles III into your home, wouldn’t you want to serve him tea in your best china?).
But when you treat a server with the same sense of basic decency that you would treat your peers, that shows a lot of good about your character than you know.
5) You show humility
Being humble is one of the surest signs you’re a likeable person.
You don’t try to one-up people in a conversation, especially if you just met them.
In fact, you do the exact opposite: you show you’re impressed and you praise and compliment them.
Despite the fact that it’s normal to want people to be impressed by you, you’re confident enough to know that showing vulnerability or perceived weakness is not the sum total of your existence.
6) You show interest in others and know how to listen
In getting to know somebody, listening is a key factor.
One of the signs you’re a likeable person is that you are truly interested in things other people talk to you about, especially when it’s about them.
Listening allows you to understand and gives you material from which to draw questions.
Asking questions also show that you heard them and you value their insight on whatever the topic is. It also encourages them to open up to you and get more comfortable in the process.
A corollary to this is remembering important things you learned from a previous conversation with an acquaintance. It suggests to the other person that you respected your interaction with him or her enough to remember what they said.
In turn, when people like you, they listen to you and value your opinions and thoughts as well.
7) You don’t try to impress
We’ve all met one or two people who think that people will like them better if they make it known that they know or are related to someone powerful or famous.
But actually, one of the signs you’re a likeable person is also that you don’t try to act smarter or better than everybody else.
The thing is, when you make those surrounding you feel less than you, it creates negative feelings for them and makes them want to avoid you.
8) You are not judgmental
Having a tolerant view of people and an open mind tends to make a person less likely to judge others.
In other words, being non-judgmental is yet another one of the signs that you’re a likable person.
When you are able to see other people’s points of view, you’re more likely to understand their choices, even if they are different from yours.
You also understand that everybody is different, and that’s okay: it’s what makes us who we are.
When you’re non-judgmental, people will also feel more at ease sharing their life story with you because they know that you respect them.
Think about it: wouldn’t you also feel comfortable with someone if you knew that they respected your decisions?
9) You’re not an attention-seeker
Similar to our previous points of being humble and not trying to impress, people tend to avoid people who draw too much attention to themselves.
I’m sure you don’t like someone who hogs the conversation or tries to make everything about themselves, either.
Take note, there is nothing wrong with having a big or magnetic personality, but this is not necessarily one of the signs you’re a likeable person.
All you really need is to be open and approachable for people to like you.
And when you do receive attention – as you would in an award – it’s probably a good idea to give thanks and recognize the efforts of those who helped you along the way.
10) You’re helpful and truly care about others
Likeable people are also willing to help out in instances where they can, nor do they do it, expecting something in return.
Instead, they do it because they actually care about the needs and the welfare of others.
When altruism is in your nature, people are bound to hear about it and come to you for help.
11) You are reliable
When people know they can count on you, it’s one of the surest signs you’re a likeable person.
Being a man – or woman – of your word makes you trustworthy, and that’s always a good thing to be.
12) You leave a good first impression with body language
Have you ever heard the saying “First impressions last”?
Well, it might surprise you to know that it takes 7 seconds – or less – to make judgments about you.
Among the signs you’re a likeable person is when you’re able to get people to form a positive opinion of you.
A lot of this is associated with body language, too: when you have good posture, a firm handshake, good eye contact, open shoulders, and a warm smile when meeting someone, you’re more likely to be liked.
Final thoughts
Wanting to be liked by people is natural. We’re only human, after all.
Whether you’re having doubts about how well-liked you are – or if you’re even liked at all – there are signs that you can look out for or develop if you want to improve your popularity.
First impressions do matter, but the good news is trying to become more likeable is not too hard.
Generally, being kind, humble, friendly, and genuine, are signs you’re a likeable person.
And, if you find some areas you can improve on, treat it as a good thing. People tend to like people who try to become better versions of themselves.
And the best part? You’ll like yourself even more too.
