8 signs you’re a great wife, even if it doesn’t feel like it

Life as a wife can sometimes feel like a never-ending rollercoaster. 

Between balancing work, managing the home, and keeping the spark alive in your relationship, it’s easy to feel you’re falling short. 

But what if I told you that you’re doing a much better job than you give yourself credit for? 

It’s true! Sometimes the signs that you’re a great wife aren’t grand gestures, but simple everyday acts that make a world of difference. 

Let’s dive into the 8 often-overlooked signs that say you’re truly amazing in your role as a spouse, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

1) You communicate well

Communication is often hailed as the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and for good reason. 

Sure, it might not seem like a big deal when you’re asking your spouse how they’re feeling, but that simple question speaks volumes.

I was catching up with a good friend the other day, and she mentioned how her marriage transformed when she and her husband began communicating openly. 

She used to keep her concerns to herself, thinking they were too trivial to discuss. But once she started sharing, her husband did too. 

They didn’t just talk about what movie to watch on Friday night; they began to share their dreams, fears, and insecurities. 

If you’re someone who’s not afraid to express how you’re feeling, and equally important, willing to listen when your partner does the same, give yourself some credit. 

This open channel of communication is what can set your marriage on a path of genuine understanding and emotional intimacy. 

2) You show appreciation

Ah, the power of a simple “thank you.” It’s astonishing how these two words can brighten someone’s day, especially when that someone is your spouse. 

Acknowledging and appreciating the small things your partner does, from taking out the trash to cooking dinner, makes a big impact.

I recall a friend who felt unappreciated in her marriage for years. Her husband did many things for her, but she missed hearing those words of gratitude. 

When she started showing appreciation for the little things he did, it was like a switch flipped. He not only began to feel valued but took her lead and started expressing his appreciation for her in return.

If you’re someone who consistently shows appreciation for the little and big things your spouse does, don’t underestimate its significance. 

These small tokens of appreciation nourish your relationship, making your partner feel valued and respected.

3) You make an effort to keep the spark alive

Years into a marriage, it’s easy to fall into a routine. Wake up, get the kids ready, go to work, make dinner, rinse and repeat. 

Naturally, things won’t be as passionate and exciting as during the first three months of dating.

But here’s what matters most — that you make an effort to keep the romantic spark alive, even a small one. 

What does this look like? It’s not necessarily about grand romantic gestures or lavish vacations (although those are nice too!). 

It can be as simple as leaving a sweet note in their lunch bag, planning a spontaneous date night, or just holding hands while watching TV. 

These small actions speak volumes about your commitment to keeping the intimacy alive in your relationship.

4) You’re forgiving

Mistakes are bound to happen in any relationship, but it’s how we handle them that defines us. If you’re the kind of wife who can forgive and move on, that’s a true sign of greatness.

Let’s say your spouse forgot an important date, like your anniversary. It’s natural to feel hurt or disappointed. 

However, if you can have an open conversation about it, forgive, and find a way to still celebrate your love, then you’re exhibiting an invaluable trait: forgiveness.

It’s easy to hold onto grudges, but doing so only builds walls between you and your spouse. Forgiveness is like a wrecking ball to these walls. 

It’s not about forgetting what happened or dismissing your feelings; it’s about choosing to love and to move forward together. 

5) You make time for each other

We all get swept up in the whirlwind of daily life — jobs, errands, maybe even kids — and it’s easy to feel like ships passing in the night with your spouse. 

But you know what? If you’re carving out even a few moments to connect, give yourself some credit. 

It’s not about being attached at the hip, but it is about making a conscious effort to share parts of your lives together.

I know a couple who were on the brink of feeling like roommates more than life partners. Then after speaking to a marriage counselor, they committed to what they called “20-Minute Magic.” 

Just 20 minutes each day to focus on each other — discussing their highs and lows, hopes and worries, or even just cracking jokes. 

And over time, these precious 20 minutes became something they both looked forward to and it strengthened their emotional bond.

Making the effort to spend quality time together, no matter how brief, not only strengthens your emotional connection but also brings joy and fun into your lives. And isn’t that what marriage should be about?

6) You’re supportive

Do you find yourself lending an empathetic ear or giving an encouraging pep talk to your spouse? Then you’re already miles ahead in the great-wife department. 

Being supportive doesn’t mean you have to agree with your spouse on everything or have all the solutions to their problems. It’s about standing by them, cheering them on, and providing a safe space for them to be themselves.

Consider a woman I know who noticed her husband was going through a tough time at work. She didn’t have all the answers to his career dilemma, but she was there to listen and simply say, “I believe in you.” 

That simple vote of confidence can be a game-changer in anyone’s life. Her support helped him find the courage to face his challenges head-on.

But support isn’t just for the challenging times. Celebrating each other’s triumphs, big or small, can be equally uplifting. 

It’s like putting deposits into an emotional savings account that you both can draw upon when needed. 

Remember, support is a two-way street. Your spouse will likely reciprocate this support, making for a stronger, more resilient marriage. 

7) You know when to give them space

It’s easy to think that always being there for your spouse physically and emotionally is what makes you a great wife, but that’s not the entire picture. Just like you, your spouse needs room to breathe, to think, and to be themselves.

Think about it. Maybe your spouse loves fishing on weekends or diving into a book without interruptions. 

Recognizing that need for personal space and time, and encouraging it, doesn’t make you an absent or indifferent wife. On the contrary, it makes you a considerate and understanding one.

However, this isn’t an excuse to grow distant or neglect each other. Knowing when to give space is about striking a delicate balance. 

It means you’re tuned into your spouse’s needs well enough to recognize when they could benefit from some “me time,” while also cherishing the time you do spend together.

So the next time you encourage your spouse to go hang out with friends, or don’t make a big deal when they want some alone time, pat yourself on the back. 

Respecting each other’s individuality is a hallmark of a strong, healthy marriage, and it’s one more reason you’re a great wife.

8) You make important decisions together

Marriage is a partnership, and if you’re taking the time to make key decisions together, you’re absolutely nailing this wife thing. 

Whether it’s choosing a new family car, planning your finances, or deciding on a school for your kids, the fact that you’re both involved in the decision-making process says a lot about the respect and equality in your relationship.

You might not always come to a quick agreement or even make the perfect choice. And that’s not even expected of you. 

What’s important is that you come together, consider each other’s perspectives, and find a path forward that you’re both okay with. 

Both your voices are heard and valued — you’re thinking not just for one, but for the both of you. 

So, the next time you’re faced with a big decision and you automatically bring your spouse into the conversation, take a moment to appreciate how far you’ve come. 

Love grows in the little things

If you’re recognizing yourself in these 8 signs, take a deep breath and give yourself some well-deserved credit. 

Being a great wife doesn’t mean being perfect; it means being present, loving, and supportive. 

It means finding time for each other while respecting each other’s independence. 

It’s about the little things — the shared laughter, the mutual decisions, and even the bumps along the way. 

So even if you have days where you question your ‘wife skills,’ remember that love is built in the everyday moments you share. Keep nurturing those, and you’re golden.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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