Pearl Nash
We all know someone who lights up the room with their gracefulness.
They seem to almost effortlessly carry themselves with elegance, taste, and self-respect and it shines through.
Maybe that person is you!
Here are the signs that you’re a graceful woman.
1) You are mindful of your words
Let’s face it, there are very few women we would describe as graceful who are constantly cursing. So being mindful of your words does include the language you choose to use in any particular situation.
But being graceful with your words is much more than whether you curse or not. It’s that you think about the impact of what you say.
You are poised and intentional with your words.
A graceful woman says what she means but she means what she says — and that requires intention and mindfulness in not only her choice of words, but also a consideration of how they may be received.
2) You keep your head held high
You keep your head held high in every sense of the word. Both in displaying confident and self-assured body language, but also in your general outlook on life.
You try to be positive and look for the best in yourself, others and life.
When you enter a room you know the most important thing to be wearing is a warm smile on your face.
Your shoulders are pushed back, you keep your chin up, and you use eye contact to connect with others.
3) You know how to read the room
Understanding others is one of life’s most vital skills.
Why?
As Annie McKee, a senior fellow at the University of Pennsylvania explains in the Harvard Business Review:
“You need to understand other people — what they want, what they don’t want, their fears, hopes, dreams, and motivations. This builds trust. And trust is fundamental to getting things done.”
Knowing how to carry yourself with the appropriate energy and tone for each occasion is why others see you as so grateful.
After all, you’re probably not going to behave the same way at a fancy event as you are having pizza night with friends at home.
4) You’ll never be seen throwing a tantrum
Making a scene is so last season. That’s why having grace involves a certain amount of restraint.
It’s not that graceful people repress their emotions, it’s that they know how to handle them before they get out of control.
And it’s not that you don’t have bad days. We all do. It’s just that you have mastered being able to keep a lid on those extreme emotions we all encounter, rather than unfairly spewing them out all over other people.
One of the signs you have grace is if you have cultivated the self-awareness and self-restraint to know that there is always a time and a place, and a certain way to address conflict.
You’re not going to be caught having a full-blown shouting match with your partner at dinner or screaming profanities at your ex after bumping into him in a bar. Tantrums are simply not your style.
5) You’re never overbearing
Often when we think of grace we think of a certain softness. That softness may present itself in the way you move, speak and interact.
Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean you’re not assertive and commanding when you need to be. But it’s never done in an aggressive or overbearing way. It’s clear and respectful.
You know how to agree to disagree. You are not overly attached to your own opinions to the extent that you feel threatened when someone has a different point of view.
Bullies are never graceful. That’s why you exert a calming command of situations in a more democratic way.
6) You are understated
Understated certainly does not mean unnoticed.
But graceful women are never flashy or showy. They’re not attention-seekers craving for people to look at them.
You don’t mean to take the limelight, despite the fact that all eyes naturally gravitate to you.
Carrying yourself with an understated elegance means that you always manage to present or express yourself in a subtle but incredibly effective way.
Grace is never obvious or over the top, instead, its power lies in stark minimalism and quality over quantity.
7) You are fascinated by the world
There’s undeniably an energetic quality that accompanies a graceful woman.
So much of this energy comes from her intellect and attitude.
One of the strong signs you are a graceful presence on this planet is if you are a woman who is fascinated by the world.
Perhaps you approach people and places with a contagious enthusiasm to know more. You have a growth mindset that remains curious at all times.
You are always learning — about yourself, about the world around you, and about the people you meet.
8) You know how to listen as well as talk
Of course, the best way to learn is to always listen as much as you speak. That’s why this sign goes hand in hand with the previous one.
Your communication skills are on point.
You firmly believe that one of the most important parts of good communication always starts with good listening and asking plenty of questions. Yet you are certainly not the wallflower type either.
There is a myth that we make a better impression if we let others do all the talking.
But whilst listening is important, research shows keeping too quiet doesn’t do us any favors.
Studies have found that when people are mostly silent, they run the risk of coming off as more boring and aloof rather than graceful.
According to professor of psychology at Georgia Gwinnett College, David Ludden, the sweet spot is being able to do both.
“Findings such as these suggest that you’ll make the best impression if you let the talking time be roughly equally divided between you and your conversation partner.”
9) You are well presented
You take pride in your appearance.
You know that the way you choose to present yourself does impact the way the world views you.
You may have your own individual style, but you are never sloppy with your appearance.
Rather than being precious over your appearance, you most likely have an effortless elegance.
How you choose to do your hair, dress and present yourself is less about conveying status to you. It’s more of a chance to reflect part of your character.
Being well-presented lets the world know that you’ve got things together.
10) You have strong self-esteem
It’s difficult to be graceful when you don’t deeply value yourself.
Because what everyone else reads as poise and elegance come from the firm foundations of self-worth.
And that inner strength is far more alluring than anything a woman can wear, say or do.
Healthy self-esteem impacts all those subtle and subconscious cues that you send out to the world.
One of the most admirable qualities of a graceful woman is how she is able to show herself love, respect, and dignity.
11) You don’t try to people please
You are your own boss. You follow your own rules. You know what really matters and you live by it.
You’re not obsessed with what others think of you. You realize that you’re never going to please all of the people all of the time, so why try?!
Instead, you focus on the people who mean the most to you.
Not being focused on what everyone else thinks of you all the time enables you to have clearer and firmer boundaries.
You’re not afraid to say no to the things that aren’t right for you.
12) You are kind to everyone you meet
You don’t take out your bad day on the server at Starbucks, or scream your head off at the waitstaff for messing up your order (James Corden style!).
Maybe it’s because you don’t sweat the small stuff or maybe it’s because you have deep empathy for other people.
But you don’t believe in status making you better than anyone else.
You go out of your way to be as kind and warm as possible to everyone you meet.
13) You have impeccable manners
The most graceful women always seem to have fantastic manners.
We may think of grace as a trait that comes naturally, but that’s not necessarily true.
So much of gracefulness comes from how we present ourselves. And that is also largely learned behavior.
Good manners are a great example of this. They allow us to make a positive impression on others, but they are something we cultivate.
Educator at Michigan State University, Jodi Schulz, sums this up perfectly when she says:
“Using words like please, thank you and excuse me need to be practiced. They aren’t like a possession where once you own it, you have it forever. Good manners are developed over time, practiced regularly and intentionally added into communications with others.”
14) You exude a quiet and calm confidence
If you are a graceful woman, you are able to keep your cool in trying situations.
You manage to remain relatively unflustered.
Yet your confidence isn’t shouted from the rooftops. You’re not conceited or obsessed with yourself. You’re modest.
You believe we are all equal. And this humility gives a demure attitude that oozes grace.
