Joyce Ann Isidro
Not enough songs are written about friendship.
Having a romantic partner is nice, but having good friends in life is just as important, if not more.
They keep the foundation of your support system strong, and more often than not, are actually more constant than romantic partners.
But what makes a good friend?
If you find yourself asking this question, that, in itself, is actually a sign that you are one.
But if you’d like to know more, read on to learn the 10 signs you’re a good friend to others!
1) You’re there when they need you
In life, we naturally make time for what, and who, is important to us.
That’s why, as a good friend, you’re there when your friends need you.
Heartbreak? You’re just one call away.
Family problems? They can tell you all about it.
Having a breakdown? You’re their shoulder to cry on.
No matter how busy you are, when a friend needs you, you make time for them. Because despite all the things you need to do, there’s still nothing more important than your friendship.
But when they need time alone, you don’t impose—you understand.
2) You understand when they need time alone
Sometimes, when we’re going through something, we don’t really want to be with anyone else. The most comforting thing is to be alone.
And when your friends need time by themselves, you understand.
You don’t get mad when they don’t reply for hours, or maybe even days.
You don’t get passive aggressive and answer their unavailability by making yourself unavailable, too.
Even if it can sometimes be inconvenient on your part, you make an effort to do all these because you care about them, and you understand what they’re going through.
And most of all, you don’t keep count of the times you’ve been there for them and they weren’t for you.
3) You don’t keep count of rights and wrongs
When we’re in an argument with a loved one, it’s so easy to start counting each other’s rights and wrongs.
In fact, it’s so easy to fall into this that we often forget the love we have for them; how much we care about them.
But as a good friend, you try not to keep a record of wrongs, even when it’s so easy.
You continue to love them despite their mistakes.
Of course, this is different when you have a toxic, selfish friend who only cares about themselves.
But in most cases, you always make an effort to remember that you love them—even in the bad times.
And it’s this kind of love that stops you from enabling their bad behavior.
4) You don’t enable bad behavior
A good friend is supportive…but not of bad behavior.
Like every rule, there is an exception to your support—and you know this, as a good friend.
You don’t enable them when they’re behaving like bad partners to their significant others.
You stop them when they engage in self-sabotage.
And you definitely don’t support their bad habits, such as smoking cigarettes.
But why? If you’re a good friend, don’t you love and support them, unconditionally?
Well, it is true that you love them unconditionally. But this unconditional love is actually the reason why you actively stop them from doing things that are detrimental to them.
You understand that while mutual support is important in a friendship, that support does not include enabling bad behavior.
5) You trust them, and they trust you
Think about this: if you were to end up in a life-or-death situation, would you trust your friend to save you?
If you answered no, I hate to break it to you, but you are not friends. A friendship without trust is no friendship at all.
However, if you answered yes, that’s good news!
If you trust your friend, and you know that they trust you, that means you are a good friend.
You trust them with your secrets and they trust you with yours.
You trust them enough to know they won’t betray you, as they know with you.
Maybe you’d even trust each other with your life, because that’s just how much faith you have in them.
6) You notice all the little things
As a good friend, you notice all the little things about them.
You remember their cat’s birthday; their favorite ice cream flavor; the snack they crave every time they’re sad.
And this is so important in a friendship, no matter how little it may seem.
Why?
Because it reminds them that you love them.
It makes them feel special that someone made an effort to remember the things that are so small they seem insignificant.
Sometimes, you actually do this so well that you do even better than their actual significant others at making them feel special.
But of course, even if you do notice the little things, you still never forget to ask them what they need.
7) You ask them what they need
Knowing what your friends need is the number one rule in friendship 101.
You know that friendships, like all relationships, are a two-way street. Even if they love you, it’s not all about you—you need to know what they need, too, and how you can fulfill it.
And as a friend, you never fail to ask what your friends need.
When they’re venting about a bad situation at work, you know to ask if they need comfort or concrete solutions.
When they’re grieving or having a breakdown, you politely ask if they need your company or solitude.
Because even if you know them like you know the back of your hand, you still understand that at all times, it’s safer to ask than to assume.
8) You make them feel comfortable around you
If there’s anyone in the world that I feel the most comfortable with, it’s my best friend.
I just know that I can absolutely show them the ugliest version of myself without feeling the slightest bit of discomfort.
This is because good friends make you feel comfortable in your own skin.
You don’t feel the need to put on a show for them. To try to be your “best self,” even when you don’t feel like it.
And it doesn’t feel like something you actively do. It most often feels effortless. Like that’s just how it’s been all your lives.
But actually, they feel this level of comfort with you because you don’t give them harsh judgment, no matter what.
9) You don’t pass harsh judgment
The world is already too judgmental on its own.
This is why good friends are our breath of relief in this cold and cruel world.
As a good friend, your friends can come talk to you about all their problems and you will never pass harsh judgment.
They can tell you everything—from how they feel they have bad taste in music, down to all their deepest childhood trauma—and you will never pass a single judgment.
Why?
Because you understand that as your friend, that’s not your job.
You understand that your job is to listen with empathy and compassion, which you willingly do because of how much you love them.
Which is also why you know that when it comes down to it, you’d be willing to go to the ends of the earth, and back, for them.
10) You’re willing to go to the ends of the earth for them
It might sound cheesy, but if you’re willing to go to the ends of the earth for a friend, you’re definitely a good one.
That’s just how much you love them.
Of course, this doesn’t mean sacrificing every good thing in your life to give your friend a good one, but you know you’ll do everything you can to make your friends’ lives better.
This is why you willingly listen to all their tangents, both about their personal lives and whatever new show they’re obsessed with; why you make time for them even if you’re busy; and why you make an effort to always be there for them when they need you, even when they don’t ask.
All of these means that you, undeniably, are a good friend.
