How do you know if your wife loves someone else?
See, your spouse may be good at concealing things – but she couldn’t always hide the truth. And, if you’re really observant, you’ll pick up on these 29 signs that your wife is in love with someone else.
1) She’s all glammed up lately
Your wife is already beautiful, but lately, she’s been putting more effort into her looks than usual. A new haircut, a ‘revealing’ wardrobe, and perfectly manicured nails, among many other things.
While it may be her way to impress you, it could also be because she’s trying to impress someone else. This is especially the case if she’s only dolled up when she’s going to the office – or some other place where she wouldn’t usually dress up.
2) Communication is sparse
No texts or calls during the day?
When she talks, is it just a brief yes or no?
Well, it could be because your wife is hiding something. She’s trying her best to keep mum about it, so she’s keeping the communication as sparse as possible.
She knows that the more she talks, the more she’s likely to give it all away.
3) She doesn’t say ‘I love you’ anymore
Now, this is a giveaway. She doesn’t say ‘I love you’ anymore because she doesn’t love you anymore.
And since this is quite a big red flag, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.
With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and experiences…
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I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through my own love crisis. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
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4) She isn’t spending as much time with you
She used to spend all her days off and vacation leaves with you. But now, she has plans line up – leaving you to your own devices during the weekends (holidays even.)
Needless to say, your partner doesn’t have time for you because she may have devoted it to someone else.
You shouldn’t let this pass, though. Word to the wise: a report has suggested that “A serious lack of ‘quality time’ can chip away at the partnership’s foundation, weakening bonds and compromising the level of happiness you feel when you’re together.”
5) She’s become very secretive
Your wife has always told you what she’s up to. But now, she’s always sneaking around, answering calls and texts in private.
If she’s hiding certain details in her life lately, it might be because she’s trying to keep her other man under wraps.
Mind you, it need not necessarily be a full-on physical affair. She could have a cyber affair (think Tinder or Bumble,) which is, by all means, still considered a form of cheating.
6) She’s lying through her teeth
She tells you she’ll go here, but a friend that was there insists he hasn’t seen her there.
Lies, lies, and more lies.
Sad as it may seem, but it’s a resounding sign that she loves someone else.
Just like being secretive, she lies to you to avoid being caught cheating. She’s trying to put you off your trail, which is entirely possible with the right form of deceit!
7) She’s always jittery
Is your wife always on her nerves? While it may be the coffee, it’s a sign that she’s probably hiding her love for someone else.
Simply put, she’s on edge because you may catch her lying, cheating, or whatever.
According to behavioral analyst Dr. Linda Glass, here are the telltale physical signs of someone lying:
- Sudden head movements
- Constant staring without much blinking
- Changes in breathing
- Repetition of certain words or phrases
- Repeatedly touching or covering her mouth
- Pointing out things repeatedly
- Shuffling of the feet
8) She’s changed her account passwords
If you’re like most married couples, then you probably have each other’s account passwords. You know…for safekeeping (wink wink.)
But, if all of a sudden, she changed her passwords – then she’s probably hiding something.
This relates back to another sign – her being secretive (which is very different from being private.) She’s trying to conceal her tracks, so she changed her passwords so you can’t view her emails, DMs, and other forms of communication with her new guy.
9) She’s become very defensive
You’ve noticed her mysterious ways, and you’ve begun questioning her about that. But, unfortunately, instead of telling you the truth, she was all on the defensive.
“I deserve some privacy!”
Simply put, if nothing is going on, she should be able to answer your questions at face value. But if she keeps beating around the bush – and getting defensive about everything she’s done – it’s a possible red flag.
As relationship advisor Rhonda Milrad explained in her Glamour interview:
“It is very common for cheaters to deflect responsibility and get irritated by your questions. They often try and shut you down and even criticize you for being too controlling or suspicious.”
10) She’s accusing you of having someone else
If your wife is in love with someone else, she may accuse you of doing the thing she’s doing.
As my fellow writer Frankie explains in her article:
“Projection is a common defense mechanism of many people who have cheated. And people often become very paranoid and start accusing their partner of doing the same thing…
She could quickly turn things around and make you feel like the bad guy in all of this.”
11) She keeps on comparing you to that other guy
Suddenly, she starts speaking about a particular guy – and how he treats his wife to this and that. This ‘comparison’ often happens when the relationship hasn’t hit the sheets yet. In her mind, he’s a potential partner – that’s why she doesn’t have a hard time talking about him.
Mind you, the comparison is not always obvious. It might be as simple as suggesting you go to this place for vacation simply because he recommended it to her.
12) She loves picking on you
Being compared to is terrible, but being picked on is probably worse. Suddenly, everything you do is annoying and not to her liking.
This happens because she already fancies a certain someone. But, unfortunately, she’s already put this other guy on a pedestal, which is why you can’t seem to get anything right in front of her.
Additionally, this may be her way to escape the relationship. Picking on you is sure to build tension, which could lead to fights – and even divorce, if left unmanaged.
Before this escalates, I suggest taking a course called Mend the Marriage.
It’s by famous relationship expert Brad Browning.
If you’re reading this article on how to save your marriage alone, then chances are your marriage isn’t what it used to be… and maybe it’s so bad that you feel like your world is falling apart.
You feel like all the passion, love, and romance have completely faded.
You feel like you and your partner can’t stop yelling at each other.
And maybe you feel that there’s almost nothing you can do to save your marriage, no matter how hard you try.
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13) The red-hot sex you once had is no more
Remember when you were newlyweds and you were going at it like rabbits? Now, the sex is not only sparse – she’s turning you down every chance she can.
“I have a headache.”
More often than not, it’s a sign that she’s no longer attracted to you. Sadly, she’s constantly turning you down because she prefers doing ‘it’ with someone else.
14) She utters another man’s name in bed
Say, by some stroke of luck, she consented to do the deed with you. And, in the throes of passion, she blurted out another guy’s name.
Yes, this could be her fantasy, but this could also mean that she’s sleeping with someone else.
Think parapraxis – also known as the Freudian slip.
According to a Healthline article, “You can trace these slip-ups back to unconscious desires and urges, whether those are things you actually want to say but feel unable to express, or unrealized feelings that haven’t yet entered your realm of conscious thought.”
15) She doesn’t care about what you say
She has always asked your opinion on something. But if she no longer cares about your unsolicited advice, it may be because she’s getting it from someone else.
This does not only apply to diplomatic conversations, though.
For example, she always gets mad about specific phrases or sentences you utter during your fights. And now, when you speak of them, she couldn’t care less.
She has already tuned you out in her mind, for she has turned another guy in.
16) She’s no longer listening to you
One of the probable reasons she doesn’t care about what you say is that she’s no longer listening to you.
Why would she? She no longer loves you. Instead, she loves someone else – and for her, he’s the only one worth listening to.
17) You don’t know what’s happening in her life
Picture this: a friend asked you how’s everything going. She wondered if your wife is still doing this or that.
To your surprise, you don’t know what to say. It’s as if you don’t know her anymore.
And it’s not for the lack of trying, no. You keep asking her what’s going on, and she just answers with a shrug and the generic response “same.”
This circles back to a sign I’ve discussed – being secretive. She’s no longer updating you because she’s afraid that you may end up discovering the new apple of her eye.
18) She’s no longer your wingwoman
You’re supposed to be able to count on your wife to be on your side when push comes to shove. But if she’s in love with someone else, you can expect her to do the opposite.
Instead of supporting and hyping you up, she may try to discourage you and bring you down.
Sadly, this is an obvious sign that she’s only pretending to love you. She’s no longer your sidekick and cheerleader, for she’s already doing this favor for someone else.
19) Small, romantic things are out the window
A happy marriage is, of course, filled with romantic things – no matter how little. Just think of random surprises – such as your wife bringing you lunch or cooking you the dish you’ve loved on one of your foreign trips.
Suffice to say, if she loves someone else, she won’t do these things for you anymore. Gone are her lunch runs to your office, among many other small surprises. Now, she’s probably doing it for her new paramour.
20) She’s only moody when she’s with you
Your family and friends know your wife to be a nice, pleasant woman. But, when it comes to you, she transforms into a she-monster.
Now, you could have done something for her to be this way. But if you know for a fact that you’re in the clear, then it might be because she is seeing someone else.
See, she feels that there’s no longer a reason for her to be nice to you. Sure, you’re her husband, but the love she once had for you is already outside the window. So instead, it’s channeled to someone else, which, I bet, doesn’t get to experience her moody side.
21) You’re no longer included in her future plans
She used to tell you that “we” will do this or that in the future. But now, when she talks, she just says, “I’m going to visit this romantic destination in the future.”
Basically, she thinks you’re no longer included in the equation. She thinks she’ll be spending it with her new guy, so she keeps on using the pronoun “I” instead of we/us.
22) Her schedule keeps on changing
She told you she’d be home by 6 pm. Then she calls you to tell you that she will have to stay longer – and that she wouldn’t be home until 10 pm.
And, when you ask her why, she just answers with short, generic answers like “Work.”
It’s possible that your wife is cheating on you with a married guy, which is why they have to dance around their schedules.
Unless you can actually verify that she is at work (or some other place she told she’d be), you should consider her constantly-changing schedule a significant warning sign.
23) She doesn’t invite you when she goes out
Let’s face it: most wives would like to be with their husbands when they go out. But if she insists on going out with friends without inviting you, you need to be concerned.
Sure, it could be because they want to have their alone time with their fellow girls. But if you aren’t careful, this might be her alone time with the new guy.
Tip: If she’s dressed to the nines – much more than she’s used to when going out with friends – then it’s possible that she’s meeting her new beau!
24) She insists on being alone
Apart from leaving you out on activities, you used to do together, another sign you should be looking out for is her insistence on doing things alone.
For example, you’re always with her when she gets her yearly car maintenance because ‘she doesn’t know what’s happening.’
Now, she insists on going to the car check-up alone. Of course, it’s possible that she’s using this as a way to spend more time with her beau.
On the other hand, this alone time may give her the freedom she needs to text or call her new man.
25) She has new friends you don’t know
Your wife knows all of your friends and you, hers.
Or so you thought.
Suddenly, she speaks about a guy you’re pretty sure you don’t know. And, when you ask her if you’ve seen him, she’ll say “Yeah,” but won’t elaborate on it.
See, there’s a good chance that this guy is the person she’s fallen in love with. You don’t know him because she doesn’t want you to know him, plain and simple.
26) She’s drifted away from your family
Maybe you’re lucky enough to have a wife who goes well with your family. In fact, she may be closer to them than you are.
So if she’s no longer communicating as much with them, or if she’s skipping family functions, it could be a sign that she’s in love with someone else.
She’s drifting away from your family the same way she’s drifting away from you.
27) Her friends are being weird
Let’s say you randomly saw her best friend in a store. Conversations with her used to be effortless, but now, it seems like everything’s all awkward.
You’re inquiring about her night-out with your wife last week (to which you weren’t invited,) and, for some reason, her face contorts.
She’s acting just as jittery as your wife did when you asked her the same question.
Well, this is twice the evidence you could ever need. There’s a big chance that her friend knows that your partner is cheating, that is why she’s acting weird around you.
28) She’s always threatening to leave/divorce you
Fights among married couples are normal. But the frequent threats of leaving and divorcing you? Alarming indeed.
See, this is not a mere knee-jerk reaction. Your wife is telling you this because she has thought of it in advance (if not for long.) Trust me, she has the guts to do it – now more so because she already has someone else lined up.
29) She’s given up on the marriage
Apart from threatening to leave or divorce you, you know she loves another if she has given up on your marriage.
There you are, suggesting help from Relationship Hero – Brad Browning even – but she isn’t interested in any of them.
See, her heart is with someone else – so she doesn’t feel the need to stand up for this marriage anymore.
Do know that this is not the end of the world, though! It’ll help to follow these tips on what to do when a woman gives up on the relationship.
What you should do
As always, communication is critical. Ask her, but be prepared for the consequence. It’s only one of two things: you patch things up or walk away from each other.
Either way, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation. You can still rebuild the trust in your marriage.
In case you’re skeptical about getting outside help, don’t.
Relationship Hero is the best resource for love coaches who aren’t just talking. They have seen it all, and they know all about how to tackle complicated situations such as this one.
I tried them last year, and I’m glad I did! They managed to break through the noise and give me real solutions.
My coach was kind, they took the time to really understand my unique situation and gave genuinely helpful advice.
In just a few minutes, you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.