9 signs your relationship isn’t making you happy (and you don’t know exactly why)

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Being in a relationship is often hard work, especially if you want a healthy and thriving relationship. 

But sometimes, we feel like the relationship or marriage should be better and more satisfying.

This could be a fleeting moment, but it could also be one that’s lingering. Maybe you had different expectations, or your partner changed. Maybe you changed. There are many reasons we can’t quite put our fingers on. 

So, without further ado, here are some signs your relationship isn’t making you happy. 

1) Constant arguments

When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to have disagreements from time to time. My wife and I argue all the time, mainly because of our son, who’s admittedly a handful. 

Before having a kid, we rarely, if ever, argued. This is another testament to just how much kids change the relationship between two people. Often in a negative way. 

However, if these arguments become a daily occurrence and you’re unable to have a peaceful conversation, it takes a toll on your happiness. 

You’re also left feeling like you’re constantly on edge, and that’s not a pleasant place to be.

Constant disputes about money also create significant stress. When you can’t agree on budgeting, spending, or saving, it’s like there’s a storm cloud hovering over your finances, casting a shadow on your happiness.

In any case, you have to work on the underlying reasons for arguing if you want to have a better and long-lasting relationship (or marriage).

2) Lack of communication

The only thing worse than constant bickering is a lack of communication. Imagine coming home after a tough day and you can’t even talk to your partner about what’s bothering you. 

When it comes to that, you clearly have a wall between you, and there’s definitely something devastatingly wrong. 

In many cases, only a professional can help couples who are at this stage to reinvigorate their relationship again.

This lack of open communication regularly results in frustration and a sense of loneliness because there’s a lack of affection and intimacy. 

3) Lack of affection/intimacy

In a loving relationship, those warm, cozy hugs and sweet kisses are like the secret sauce that binds you and your partner together. 

They’re the special ingredients that make your connection extra delicious. But when these affectionate moments are missing, it’s a bit like having a sandwich without the filling – there’s no salami and cheese, and it leaves you feeling a little empty inside.

You’re sitting on the same couch, sharing a meal, or even in the same bed, but if that emotional connection is MIA, it’s as if you’re in a crowded room full of people, but you’re still all alone in your thoughts. 

It’s that deep, heart-to-heart connection that truly makes you feel happy and content in a relationship.

4) You’re always compromising

Healthy relationships involve give and take. But if you’re the only one giving in to your partner’s wishes, it leaves you feeling like your needs and desires aren’t being considered, which is frustrating.

Think of it as planning a road trip with your partner, and you’re the one who always agrees to their choice of music, stops, and snacks. 

At first, it might seem like no big deal, but as the miles go by, you start to realize that your voice doesn’t matter in this journey. 

Your needs and preferences take a backseat, and that’s frustrating because a real road trip should be about both of you enjoying the ride, not just one person dictating the entire route. 

In a relationship, compromise should be a two-way street to keep things fair and balanced.

5) You have unresolved issues

Think of unresolved issues in your relationship like a pile of dirty laundry. If you keep ignoring it, it’ll only pile up and make the room stink. 

In the same way, unresolved problems can lead to bitterness and unhappiness over time.

As you continue to avoid tackling these issues, the emotional stench becomes more overpowering. The bitterness and resentment grow with each passing day, making it difficult to breathe freely within your relationship.

That’s why addressing and resolving the issues in your relationship is essential to preserving a happy and healthy connection. 

On the other hand, ignoring them results in a gradual deterioration of your happiness and contentment within the relationship.

6) You’re feeling unappreciated

Feeling unappreciated in a relationship can be deeply disheartening. It’s like carefully crafting a beautiful piece of art and presenting it to someone, only for them to barely glance at it, let alone acknowledge the effort and thought that went into it. 

You start questioning yourself if all of this is really worth it if your partner doesn’t even see your effort. 

You also start to wonder whether your partner truly values and cares about you or if your efforts are taken for granted. 

Over time, you end up with a growing sense of unhappiness and frustration as you seek the recognition and appreciation that every person deserves.

7) Controlling behavior

If your partner tries to control what you do, who you see, or where you go, it makes you feel suffocated. 

Picture this: You have plans with friends, but you can’t go because your partner insists on having you by their side at all times. 

You might even find yourself hesitating to make simple decisions, like choosing your outfit or going to the grocery store, because you’re afraid of your partner’s disapproval.

You need to make it clear that both partners should have space for their interests, friends, and personal time.

In a loving relationship, you should be able to pursue your interests and passions. If your partner is holding you back or making you feel like you can’t be yourself, you’ll be unhappy and depressed.

8) There’s constant negativity

Constant negativity in a relationship is like having a never-ending rain cloud following you around. 

Every conversation feels more like a litany of complaints, criticisms, or just plain grumbling. 

Imagine trying to have a sunny day, but that dark cloud is always there, casting a shadow over your every interaction.

It’s not just a one-time disagreement or a bad day; it’s a pattern of pessimism that drains your positivity and leaves you feeling like you’re trudging through a perpetual downpour of gloom. 

You simply must address this issue ASAP because, just as you can’t make a rainbow without a little rain, you can’t build a healthy, happy relationship when it’s shrouded in constant negativity.

9) Gut feeling

You know that moment when you’re sitting in your favorite coffee shop, sipping your latte, and something just doesn’t feel right? 

It’s a subtle, nagging sense that you left your gas open at home, but you’re not entirely sure. 

Well, in a relationship, it’s the same. You can’t pinpoint what’s wrong, but you have this persistent feeling that things aren’t as they should be.

Final thoughts

Relationships come with their quirks and bumps in the road, just like life itself. The important thing is to realize that problems can crop up, but they’re not the end of the world.

When your favorite recipe goes a bit off, but you and your partner are the chefs. Who has to fix the meal? The chefs.

The secret ingredient here is open communication and being willing to tweak the recipe. Just like in the kitchen, a pinch of understanding and a dash of compromise can do wonders.

At the end of the day, it’s all about making each other’s happiness a top-notch ingredient in your relationship. 

If you both keep that in the mix, you’re more likely to whip up a satisfying and fulfilling partnership.

Adrian Volenik

Adrian has years of experience in the field of personal development and building wealth. Both physical and spiritual. He has a deep understanding of the human mind and a passion for helping people enhance their lives. Adrian loves to share practical tips and insights that can help readers achieve their personal and professional goals. He has lived in several European countries and has now settled in Portugal with his family. When he’s not writing, he enjoys going to the beach, hiking, drinking sangria, and spending time with his wife and son.

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