Adrian Volenik
As someone who has been in a relationship (now marriage) for more than 15 years, I can tell you that there’s nothing better than having your partner be your best friend at the same time.
Your partner knows you inside out and vice versa. There’s no need for pretenses or filters. You can be your authentic self without fearing judgment, creating a level of comfort that’s hard to match.
Plus, best friends have your back through thick and thin. When your partner doubles as your bestie, you’re guaranteed relentless support.
So, here are some signs your partner is your best friend, according to psychology.
1) You find the same things funny, and your inside jokes could probably fill a book
You’ve got this secret language of laughter that others might mistake for alien communication. Whether it’s a quirky snort or a full-blown belly laugh, you both just get it.
If laughter truly is the best medicine, then you’re practically doctors at this point. And that’s according to science, mind you.
You see, laughter releases endorphins, the feel-good hormones, creating a positive association with your partner.
Laughing together also promotes emotional intimacy and strengthens the bond, making you two practically immune to relationship woes.
2) You’re each other’s go-to for support and understanding
Emotional connection taps into the oxytocin, aka the love hormone, promoting a sense of security and attachment.
When you’re there for each other emotionally, it creates a deep bond that stands the test of time.
You’re not just there for the good times. Oh no, you’ve seen each other in the ugly cry moments.
You know, the type of emotional support that involves tissues, maybe some ice cream, and absolutely zero judgment.
In the last 15 years, there have been so many ups and downs that it’s hard to recall all of them.
And that’s the thing: you tackle them together as a team, no matter what.
3) You tackle challenges together as a team, whether big or small
Collaboration and teamwork in a relationship contribute to its success. Psychologists highlight the importance of a shared sense of purpose and working together towards common goals.
For us, these goals, dreams, and aspirations changed quite a lot over time, but we pushed through and made many of them happen.
Just in recent years, we went through COVID (like most people), quit our jobs to find more fulfilling ones, moved to a different country, bought our first apartment, had a kid, and the list goes on.
So, when your partner is your best friend, you tackle challenges like a team.
4) From hobbies to Netflix preferences, your interests match seamlessly
Sure, opposites attract, but if you want to survive and thrive long-term, you need to be more similar than you think.
And if your partner is your best friend too, you two are like puzzle pieces that fit just perfectly.
From sharing the same taste in music to having heated debates over the best pizza toppings (hold the pineapple, please), your interests align like the stars in a rom-com.
5) You can talk about anything and everything without judgment
Effective communication is the backbone of a healthy relationship. Psychologists emphasize the importance of expressing emotions and thoughts openly, enabling understanding and empathy.
If you’re best friends too, you could give communication experts a run for their money. No topic is off-limits, as you’ve mastered the art of expressing yourselves.
Although my wife is somewhat sensitive at times, especially when it comes to our health or our son, I feel like I can tell her everything.
And that’s the only way to do it, right?
6) There’s a deep level of trust, and you’re comfortable being vulnerable with each other
Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. Psychologically, it involves a complex interplay of things like reliability, honesty, and vulnerability.
When trust is established, it creates a secure emotional space for both partners, right?
I trust my wife more than I trust my Wi-Fi not to drop out during an important Zoom call.
Being vulnerable can be intimidating, but with your partner doubling as your best friend, vulnerability becomes second nature.
You can share your deepest anxieties, insecurities, and dreams without the fear that they’ll judge you.
You simply have this safe space where your raw and unfiltered self is not just accepted but embraced.
And that means you just have loads of respect for each other. So, let’s expand on that a bit.
7) You respect each other’s opinions, space, and individuality
Your relationship should be a no-judgment zone, right? Whether you have a questionable fashion choice or a slightly weird obsession with collecting rubber ducks, you respect each other’s quirks.
You have a mutual agreement that weirdness is not just allowed but encouraged.
And mutual respect is a critical element in lasting relationships. Psychologists also highlight the importance of recognizing and appreciating each other’s individuality.
That’s why your acceptance of quirks is more than just endearing. It’s a psychological testament to a mature and respectful connection.
8) Spending time together is never a chore; it’s something you both look forward to
Spending time together shouldn’t be a checklist item. It should be the highlight of your day.
Netflix marathons, spontaneous road trips, or just staring at the ceiling together, it’s all quality time when you’re with your person.
For us, almost every day is beach day. Although we don’t surf, we love spending time at the beach walking, sunbathing, playing ball, and swimming in the Summer.
It doesn’t really matter what you do as long as you look forward to doing it with your partner.
9) You genuinely celebrate each other’s successes and milestones
Do you celebrate victories like a pair of champions? From landing that dream job to successfully assembling an IKEA bookshelf without leftover screws, every achievement is a reason to break out the champagne.
In our little family, high-fives are abundant, as well as hugs and jumping for joy. For me, that’s what this life is all about.
If you look at things with rose-tinted glasses, well, guess what? They’ll be cheerful and lighthearted.
On the contrary, if you’re serious all the time, everything will be dull and serious, and you won’t see people smiling back at you.
Celebrating each other’s achievements strengthens the positive reinforcement loop in a relationship.
And psychologically, shared joy improves emotional connection and results in overall relationship satisfaction.
10) Silence isn’t awkward; it’s comfortable. You don’t always need words
Being comfortable with silence and not always needing words is a sign of a relationship where your partner is not just a romantic interest but also your best friend.
Best friends are those with whom you can be your true self. When silence is comfortable, it means you don’t feel the need to put on a show or filter your thoughts.
Final thoughts
In the end, only you know whether you and your partner are also best friends. Ultimately, there’s no harm if you aren’t.
That isn’t a prerequisite of a healthy relationship, is it? In fact, I’d argue that you need to have friends outside of the relationship.
If you two are spending too much time together, you could start getting on each other’s nerves, or the relationship could become stale as you run out of interesting things to talk about.
