9 signs your partner has had an affair (even if they won’t admit it)

When it comes to relationships, some things are better left unsaid…until they’re not. If your gut is telling you something’s off, you might be onto something.

Cheating isn’t always obvious. Sometimes, it’s subtle shifts in behavior that can indicate a partner’s infidelity, even if they’re not ready to admit it.

In my years working as a relationship expert, I’ve come across many telltale signs that a partner has strayed. And even if they’re keeping mum about it, these signs can give them away.

In this article, we’ll explore 9 of these signs. And keep in mind, you’re not being paranoid or suspicious. You’re being observant and proactive.

So, let’s dive in and help you decode the mystery that is your partner’s sudden change in behavior.

1) Sudden change in appearance

When love is in the air, we all make an effort to look our best. But if your partner has suddenly started to take their appearance more seriously, there could be more to it.

Yes, it’s great they’re suddenly hitting the gym every day or they’ve traded in their old wardrobe for a new, stylish one. But if it seems out of character or there’s no apparent reason for the change, it might be time to ask some questions.

Of course, a new look doesn’t automatically mean infidelity. But when coupled with other signs on this list, an abrupt change in appearance can be a red flag.

So keep an eye out if your partner’s style has taken an unexpected turn. It could be just a phase…or it could be something more.

2) They’re more attentive and loving than usual

This one might seem counterintuitive. After all, wouldn’t someone having an affair be less attentive to their partner, not more?

Interesting enough, some people who have affairs tend to overcompensate at home. They might shower you with gifts, compliments, and affection to alleviate their guilt.

So if your partner’s suddenly acting like you’re in the early days of your relationship again, it might not be as sweet as it seems.

3) They’re overly secretive with their devices

Now, we all need a bit of privacy. But if your partner suddenly starts guarding their device like it’s the gold in Fort Knox, something might be up.

Maybe they’ve started taking phone calls in another room, or they’ve added a password to a device that was previously open. Perhaps they tense up every time you’re near their phone or computer.

These could be signs they’re hiding something, like an affair.

In my book “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship”, I talk about how trust is foundational to a healthy relationship. If you’re noticing these signs, it’s important to address them openly and honestly.

4) Their schedule suddenly changes

Work can be unpredictable, and we all have to pull a late night or go on an unexpected business trip from time to time. But if your partner’s schedule has suddenly changed without a convincing explanation, it might be cause for concern.

Perhaps they’re staying late at work more often, or they’re taking more business trips than usual. Maybe they’ve started going out with friends more often and coming home late.

As the old saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” If your partner’s actions don’t match their words, it’s worth having a conversation about it.

I remember in my early days as a relationship expert, I learned something valuable from a mentor of mine: “Trust your gut. It knows what your head hasn’t figured out yet.” If your intuition is telling you something’s off with your partner’s changed schedule, don’t ignore it.

5) They’ve become defensive

Defensiveness can be a sign of guilt. If your partner gets defensive or angry when you ask about their day, or if they overreact to simple questions, it might be a sign they’re hiding something.

It doesn’t mean that they’re definitely having an affair, but it’s worth noting if their reactions to simple inquiries seem out of proportion.

I remember a couple I counseled once where the husband would get extremely defensive every time his wife asked him about his day. It turned out he was hiding an affair. The defensiveness was a way to deflect attention from his actions.

So pay attention to how your partner reacts to normal conversation. It might provide insights into what’s going on behind the scenes.

6) They criticize you more

If your partner starts to find faults in everything you do, it might be a sign they’re trying to justify an affair. They could be attempting to shift the blame onto you, or even trying to make themselves feel less guilty.

This behavior can be particularly hurtful. It can shake your self-confidence and make you question your worth.

I once had a client who was constantly criticized by her partner for the smallest things. It turned out he was having an affair and was projecting his guilt onto her.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Well, that it’s not about you; it’s about their actions and choices.

Stay strong and don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are. For more support and insights on relationships, don’t hesitate to follow me on Facebook. I share my latest articles there, and it could really help to have them pop up in your feed.

7) They’ve stopped saying “I love you”

Three words. Three simple words that can mean the world in a relationship. If your partner has stopped saying “I love you,” it could be a sign that their feelings have changed.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean they’re having an affair. But when combined with other signs on this list, it’s a warning that something is amiss.

Love isn’t just about grand gestures and passionate moments. It’s about the quiet, everyday assurances that we matter to someone. When those assurances start to fade, it’s only natural to question why.

Final thoughts

No one ever said relationships were easy. They require work, patience, and a lot of understanding. If you suspect your partner is having an affair, it can be easy to jump to conclusions and let your emotions take over.

Remember, these signs are just potential indicators. There could be other explanations for their behavior, so it’s crucial to have an open, honest conversation with your partner.

In the end, trust your gut. It’s usually right.

If you’re struggling with these issues and want more guidance on navigating such tricky waters, be sure to watch this insightful video by Justin Brown.

He speaks candidly about the complexities of finding a compatible life partner and shares valuable insights learned from personal experiences.

I hope this article has provided you with some insight and guidance.

Bear in mind, you’re not alone in this. It’s okay to seek help and advice when you’re feeling lost or uncertain. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be heard.