Adrian Volenik
Do you feel your partner doesn’t really respect you? Well, there could be some truth in that, honestly.
I, for one, was in relationships where I felt some of my partners didn’t appreciate and truly respect me. Needless to say, these relationships didn’t last for too long.
So, let’s see what signs show your partner doesn’t truly respect you, according to psychology. And if there’s a way to fix it.
1) They often don’t care about your feelings or what you think
Psychology says that when your partner dismisses your feelings and thoughts, they probably lack empathy toward you and don’t respect your opinion. At least not a lot.
And without empathy and respect, there’s no healthy relationship and connection.
In one of my past relationships, it felt like no matter what I did, my partner always had something negative to say.
If I cooked dinner, they’d complain about the taste. If I dressed up for a night out, they’d nitpick my outfit. It made me feel like I could never do anything right. We’ll talk a bit later about how to address that.
2) You catch them lying or hiding things from you
Trust is incredibly important in a relationship, right? If yor partner isn’t honest or they’re sneaky, they don’t respect you enough to be straight with you.
I remember the time I found out my ex-partner had been keeping something from me. It wasn’t a big deal, but the fact that they felt the need to hide it made me question what else they might be keeping from me.
She didn’t trust me enough to be honest, and it hurt. Psychologically, dishonesty erodes trust, which is the foundation of any healthy relationship.
When your partner lies or hides things from you, it makes you feel betrayed and insecure, doesn’t it?
You need to demand complete transparency when you’re with someone. Tell them you want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.
3) They make fun of you or put you down
When your relationship feels like your partner is trying to tear you down instead of building you up, that’s exhausting, and it chips away at your self-esteem.
Psychologically, constant belittling and teasing can lead to all sorts of negative feelings, including inadequacy and shame, as it undermines your sense of self-worth and confidence.
It’s not cool when someone makes fun of you or makes you feel small. Even if they say they’re joking, if it hurts, it’s not okay.
Tell them you won’t allow it and that they should talk to you with more respect. You need to set some boundaries and maintain them.
4) They don’t respect your boundaries
Yes, setting boundaries is key, and so is talking about what’s okay and what’s not. But it doesn’t always work out, though.
I’ve tried to set these boundaries with one of my past partners, but she just didn’t respect them.
In fact, she was invading my personal space and pressuring me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with. Honestly, it felt like she didn’t care about my needs or feelings.
And that’s frustrating because limits are another key to a healthy relationship.
Psychologically, when your partner disregards your boundaries, you start feeling resentment and powerlessness, as it undermines your autonomy and sense of control within the relationship.
5) They constantly criticize you
When it feels like nothing you do is ever good enough for them, that’s a sign of disrespect, too. It doesn’t matter how well you do things, they always find something to criticize.
That’s because they’re always looking for flaws instead of appreciating you for who you are. It’s exhausting, and it makes you feel like you can never measure up, doesn’t it?
Psychologically, constant criticism can also quite quickly erode your self-esteem and self-confidence, as it reinforces negative beliefs about yourself and your abilities.
You need to clearly communicate to your partner that constant criticism isn’t acceptable. Share with them how their criticism makes you feel.
Try to understand why your partner feels the need to criticize you constantly. Are they projecting their own insecurities onto you?
Are there underlying issues that you need to address? Having an open and honest conversation can help uncover the root cause of the criticism.
6) They don’t listen to you when you’re talking, or they interrupt you frequently
Is your partner physically present but mentally checked out whenever you try to have a conversation with them? Do they interrupt you or act disinterested?
Yeah, that’s not good and it’s frustrating as hell. You just want to see them listening to you, but it’s like your words don’t matter to them.
Psychologically, when your partner doesn’t listen to you, it can make you feel lonely and disconnected, as it undermines your sense of emotional intimacy and validation within the relationship.
So, what you need to do is invite your partner to share their perspective on why they aren’t listening.
It’s possible they’re unaware of the problem or have their reasons for zoning out during conversations.
7) They’re ignoring your achievements
When you accomplish something awesome, it’s natural to want your partner to be happy for you. But if they don’t seem to care or acknowledge your successes, they’re not on your team.
That’s terrible, and you need to get to the bottom of this problem. Your partner may feel threatened by your success, leading them to downplay or ignore your achievements as a way to cope with their own insecurities.
Or they struggle to empathize with your feelings of pride and accomplishment. On the other hand, they might not realize how important it is to you that they acknowledge your achievements. They might think it’s not a big deal, even though it is to you.
Or, maybe they’re so wrapped up in their own world that they don’t pay attention to what’s important to you.
Unfortunately, they might not care much about what matters to you, which sucks, but it happens.
8) They make major decisions without consulting you
One weekend, I came home to find out my partner had signed us up for a costly vacation package without even discussing it with me.
I felt blindsided and frustrated because she hadn’t considered my opinion or our budget. I couldn’t wrap my head around it and that’s a tough situation to be in.
So, I let her know that I felt left out and that I would have appreciated being consulted before she made such a significant decision.
Because I expressed my feelings calmly and honestly, I helped prevent similar situations in the future and strengthened the communication and trust between us.
She completely understood my position and never really pushed things like that again.
9) You’re afraid of how they might react
It’s tough when you feel like you have to tiptoe around your partner all the time. You should feel free to be yourself and express your thoughts and sentiments without fear of their reaction, right?
Besides, constantly worrying about how your partner will react can lead to higher anxiety and stress levels.
This ongoing state of alertness can be exhausting and bad for your mental health as you start to withdraw emotionally in order to protect yourself.
And in turn, this emotional distancing quickly and easily creates a sense of disconnection and isolation between the two of you.
Plus, if you’re always worried about how your partner will react, it’s a warning sign that something’s not right.
Let them know how their reactions make you feel, and see if you can work together to create a more open and accepting environment where you both feel comfortable expressing yourselves.
10) They’re not giving you space to be yourself
And lastly, when your partner isn’t giving you the space to be yourself, you can’t express your thoughts, interests, and individuality without feeling like you’re constantly under their watchful eye or judgment.
From a psychological perspective, this lack of space can have damaging effects on your sense of autonomy and self-expression.
You’re frustrated and resent them for it. And ultimately, you struggle to keep your independence and identity.
Final thoughts
Having been through some of these challenges myself, I can wholeheartedly tell you that there’s no real relationship and bond without mutual respect.
If one or both partners are disrespectful, there’s some underlying reason for that, and there’s no going forward if you don’t address it.
The question is, is your relationship strong enough?
