15 big signs your partner is cheating with a coworker

Relationships are hard.

That’s no secret.

And one of the hardest parts is finding time for each other in a busy work schedule. There’s always more to do at the office.

The problem is when your partner is cheating with a coworker.

When you throw cheating into the mix, relationships go from being hard to being downright diabolical.

Cheating is like a slap in the face for a variety of reasons.

You have a whole host of new worries on your mind when cheating enters the picture:

  • Heartbreak and betrayal
  • STDs and risks to your physical health
  • Worries about how long it’s been going on
  • Anger and massive stress
  • Confusion and broken trust

The thing is:

If you suspect that your significant other might be copulating in their cubicle it can be hard to prove.

After all, for as many times as there are men and women saying they need to work late today in order to bump boots there are also … men and women who actually do need to work late.

For that reason, it’s important to know the biggest signs your partner is cheating with a coworker.

And you’ve come to the right place.

With no further ado, here they are: the top 15 signs your partner is cheating with a coworker.

The biggest signs your partner is cheating with a coworker…

Before I get into this list I want to make clear that the decision to confront your partner who you believe is cheating is yours alone.

I take no responsibility for smashed dishes or broken hearts.

But I will say that while these signs are not proof – after all, only proof is proof – they are a pretty good indicator that some orifice ogling and private part parties may be going on at the office behind your back.

1) Everybody’s working for the weekend

This is the first of the signs your partner is cheating with a coworker: they’re always at work.

They’re working for the weekend even when … their business seems to be closed for the weekend for all you can tell.

The problem is that even something that starts as “extra work” can quickly morph into something else entirely.

Your partner starts out a couple weekends going in to the office or down to the store for some overtime or off the books work…

Little do you know that their coworker helping out is rather easy on the eyes and just a bit of a flirt.

And then before you know it they’re on call all the time and constantly heading to work…

At this point they might easily be “working” from another location, possibly involving champagne buckets and babes. Or maybe they’re enjoying some pampering at the local spa with an interlude at their new hunk’s neighborhood love nest.

It’s a busy world out there – especially in this economy – but if your partner suddenly seems to be tied to work with a giant rope 24/7 you’ve got to start paying attention to that instinct inside you that’s asking what the hell’s going on.

Because whatever’s going on it’s probably not great.

2) “I’d love to but …”

Excuses, excuses. They’re one of the biggest signs your partner is cheating with a coworker.

“I’d love to but I’ve got to work.”

You can hear the words echoing in your head even while you read this.

Well, I’m not saying to get paranoid, but I’m not necessarily saying not to be paranoid either.

If your partner is constantly dodging doing anything with you – even some for intimacy – then it’s time to start asking yourself what he’d love to do more than you.

And if work is the constant refrain then there’s reason to suspect that work might be the place where your partner is seeing someone else or at least the place your partner is using as a pretext to see someone else.

Be smart.

3) Your partner has more frequent flyer points than anyone you know

Certain jobs require more travel than others.

Fair enough.

But if your partner is racking up enough frequent flyer points to fund an Instagram travel influencer for life then you have to scratch your chin.

What exactly is going on?

Considering that 66% of those surveyed in a recent poll believe their partners used trade shows and conferences in other places to cheat, you’re not alone.

That’s because – as creepy as it may sound – traveling away from home in places you are unlikely to be recognized or see other people is the perfect place to sweat up some sheets with a sexy coworker (if you’re an asshole who cheats on your partner).

So, pay attention to this sign, because if your partner is constantly traveling for work some of those trips could be ones they volunteered for, and that cute coworker carrying their extra bags might be doing other things with them behind closed hotel doors, too.

4) Your partner gets all dolled up to go to work

It’s great to want to look your best (I know I like to).

But to be honest, making sure I look decent isn’t always something I’ve focused on when I leave for work.

I do take care of my appearance and dress professionally – absolutely – but I’m not auditioning for GQ every time I step out the door to go to my in-person job.

I’m going to work.

If your partner gets all dolled up to go to work and looks like they are trying to make onlookers faint from desire then you have yourself a little dilemma.

Obviously, you can’t just say it makes you uncomfortable: that would be unappreciative, suspicious, and weird.

But if you praise their hot appearance you will also appear needy and over-eager as well as a bit prying.

The best bet here is to play it cool while noting down the odd fact that your loving other half seems to be putting on a show for everyone but you.

If you think they might be guilty about what they’re doing, then you might see some of the signs in the video below:

5) There’s growing emotional distance between you

Everyone needs their space at times: it’s healthy and helps relationships stay alive.

But emotional distance is different.

It’s more like this feeling you get deep inside – this certainty – that your partner isn’t communicating openly with you and is drifting away from you.

It sucks.

And if you feel that gulf widening and notice your partner’s focus and enthusiasm being taken up by work and by a colleague at work who your partner seems to be enamored of then it’s time to start seriously wondering if they’re doing the deed with that coworker.

In some cases keep in mind it can also be a lot more subtle.

Your partner can be having an emotional affair at work and therefore may have cut you out of their heart.

This is a situation where even if they aren’t sleeping with someone else they’ve replaced you as the most important person in their life.

6) Your partner acts weird when asked about work colleagues

For those of us who spend a lot of time at work, it’s natural that our job – and those we work with – comes up as a topic of conversation.

After all, coworkers can be interesting, weird, annoying, or just awesome in my case (pats self on back).

But if your partner acts weird when you ask about their work colleagues it’s one of those flashing neon signs your partner is cheating with a coworker.

They could also be having a conflict …

Or feel uncomfortable about a coworker’s behavior …

But if you want to eliminate these options then think of it this way:

If your partner is acting uncomfortable or over-nervous about one particular work colleague that’s also in the demographic and gender your partner is attracted to … then you need to stop and think long and hard.

That’s a calling card of cheating.

7) Work seems to be more than just work

It’s great to love your job.

I do: after all what could be better than writing this advice list for you?

But if work seems to be more than just work for your partner then you have one of the clearest signs your partner is cheating with a coworker.

Think about it this way:

Have you ever had a place you really didn’t want to go?

Maybe it was summer camp, or your old uncle’s house when you were a teenager, or high school chemistry class (get me therapy, stat).

But then something happened in that setting, miracle of miracles:

You met someone you actually took a romantic interest in in the cabin next door, or at the BBQ at Uncle Bob’s on the weekend or that weird girl in the corner at chemistry class turned out to be weirdly amazingly sexy!

And suddenly that shitty place became your number one destination.

“Get me to that shitty ass summer camp.

I want to go to Uncle Bob’s mom, he’s, like, not that bad actually.

Chemistry is so fucking cool. I just love chemical reactions, they’re kind of like a metaphor for uh, some stuff about love and stuff.”


If your partner is all about work these days – and he or she wasn’t previously – then you’ve got to start asking yourself what’s behind their newfound enthusiasm.

8) Your partner starts texting all the time and says it’s ‘work stuff’

Yeah, right.

That must be some pretty funny work stuff that requires a lot of spinning hearts and whirligig emoticons.

If you’re buying this stuff I suggest getting some gullibility training.

The truth is that unless you want to become a Stasi snoop then you may not actually know what your partner is flirting up a storm about on his or her phone.

But if they constantly brush off your questions or jokes about it by saying “just work stuff” then a ping should be going off in your head.

Think of it as your gut instinct telling you something isn’t right.

Because the truth is:

Even if your partner isn’t cheating on you with someone at work, there’s a good chance that “work” is their go-to excuse for cheating or desired cheating they hope to do in the near future.

If they act all scared when you even come near their phone or subtly tilt it out of your view then you should take note.

That’s cheating behavior.

9) Your partner seems to care more about their coworker than you

If your partner’s been all about some coworker lately it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re having an affair.

Maybe they find their office pal hilarious, or weird, or fascinating (and completely unattractive).

Or maybe they’re bopping booties with them behind the back loading dock.

Really in this case you need to listen to your gut: if your partner is gushing about someone at work and seems to care about them more than you then it’s a potential warning sign.

More signs?

They lick their lips when they talk about this coworker;

Their breathing rate picks up when they talk about this coworker;

They comment directly on this coworker’s appearance;

They basically make it clear that if they’re not doing something inappropriate with that person at work they’re soon going to be doing something inappropriate to themselves in the bathroom while fantasizing about that coworker.

10) You start noticing little tidbits of gossip or ‘looks’ whenever you’re around their workplace

This tip depends on whether you’re ever around your partner’s place of work. If not, it’s not really going to apply.

But if you want one of the most surefire signs your partner is cheating with a coworker walk into their workplace and see what happens.

Hopefully nothing. A bit of chitchat, a few indifferent looks, some fake smiles.

OK, good.

But if you’re getting a few giggles, awkward shuffles away, strange looks and blushes or pained expressions and little whispers to each other then you might want to ask yourself just why you’re being treated like an extraterrestrial.

If your partner is loving up a storm with a coworker the chances are their other coworkers are going to at least suspect something is going on.

And they’re going to feel uncomfortable as hell if you walk right in and ask where your partner is or come to give them a treat for lunch…

Because people feel weird when weird shit is going on around them.

So watch out for this sign.

11) Your partner talks about a career change

Obviously, career changes can just be about finding a better job or part of a bigger plan to move locations or respond to a life change such as illness or family problems.

But other times when work seems to have become a drama hotspot your ears should perk up.

What exactly is cranking the drama up to 11?

As gauche as it sounds, sometimes it’s simple: your partner’s been caught having an affair at work and they now want to bail on the awkwardness before you catch them too.

It could be something else entirely.

It could be that they hate their boss and their coworkers are jerks and they want to rediscover the romance in your relationship before it’s too late.

It could be they’ve just had it with being a software salesman when they really always wanted to be a deep-sea diver.

Could be.

But it could also definitely be that they were working out of a hotel bed every weeknight while you stayed at home with dinner getting cold.

12) Your partner is hesitant to take you to company events and parties

This could just be because they’re shy and don’t like introducing you to new people.

Or they might be doing it for your own good so you don’t have to sit through another award speech for the best printer awards or who sold the most risky, volatile real estate stocks this year.

But if it becomes a pattern there’s also a chance they’re not inviting you to company events and parties because they don’t want you to get an eyeful of their crush.

Your partner knows they’re doing something wrong.

And they don’t want you to catch even the hint of a blush on their cheeks when they see the coworker they’re carnally collaborating with walk up and say hi.

Red lights flashing sheriff badge up in your face warning time. Pay attention.

13) Your partner comments on your appearance in negative ways

Granted this can be a symptom of general relationship trouble, but it’s also one of the prime signs your partner is cheating with a coworker.

He or she spends their days (and sometimes half their nights) at “work” but they still have time to make little nitpicky, bitchy comments about your appearance.

Radical honesty is cool and all, but being a dick about how your partner looks isn’t really about honesty.

It’s about bringing someone down.

And implying they’re not good enough and someone else is better.

If you’re being cut down in this way by your partner it’s time to look at the subtext of what they’re saying.

If you’re not “hot” or “handsome” enough for them are they basically saying they’re done with you without actually saying it?

Call them out.

14) Your partner starts talking about threesomes

These days sexual openness seems to be all the rage, I get that.

But really…

If your partner who was never very kinky before starts talking about threesomes with you it can be one of the biggest signs your partner is cheating with a coworker.

Think about it:

Who cheats?

A coward.

What does a coward do?

Cowardly shit.

So instead of just telling you he or she is done with the relationship, a cheater will often look for other sneaky ways to cook the books and fit a new person into the mix.

Then after a few experimental sessions, it’s a surprise! You just gave the stamp of approval to the person your partner’s been screwing at work for months.

15) Your partner starts leaving for work extra early

Hopefully, you can tell by now that this list isn’t playing around.

So to find out if your partner is playing around at work you need to become extra alert to little tricks.

One of them is leaving extra early for work and hoping you’ll be too groggy or even impressed to notice that it’s a little bit odd.

“Yeah hun, I just wanna beat the traffic,” he might say.


“Yeah babe, gonna try to swing by the gym first.”

Have a good workout.

Now either your special someone has just found a new alarm ringtone they can’t get enough of and they’re jacked up on super vitality vitamin juice or it’s quite possible they’re navigating for nookie before work.

Let’s hope I’m wrong.

If your partner is cheating on you, now what? 

If you’ve come to the realization that your partner is indeed cheating on you with a coworker, there’s no doubt you’re feeling pretty hurt and upset right now.

You’ve got two options:

Either confront them and work through the issues in your relationship to come back stronger together. Or, leave them. You have to decide what’s right for you.

But, if you do want to work it out, I have something that might help you.

It’s a revolutionary concept called the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, it’s all about tapping into innate drivers that all men have.

These drivers are hardwired in men’s DNA, and if left untriggered, they fail to find satisfaction in their relationships — no matter how much they love you.

This could be the reason your man is cheating on you with a coworker.

So if you want him back for good, it’s worth checking out this free video which explains more about the concept and how you can apply it to your relationship.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”. Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to be satisfied in relationships?

No. It has nothing to do with Marvel Studios. There’s no need to play the damsel in distress to win back his love and commitment.

What the hero instinct reveals is that when men have these simple drivers triggered, a switch flips. Their doubts and fears of commitment dissolve. They love deeper. They’re committed like never before.

And the best part?

It comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. All you need to do is make small changes to how you treat him, awaken his inner hero, and see how quickly he recommits to you and only you.

And the way to do this is by checking out James Bauer’s free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him the right type of text messages to trigger his hero instinct naturally.

That’s the beauty of the concept — it’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to your partner to make him forget about his coworker or any other woman for that matter.

Once you trigger his inner hero, he’ll only have eyes for you.

Here’s a link to the excellent video again.


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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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