16 signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore (and 7 things you can do)

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If you’re searching for signs that your husband doesn’t love you anymore, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that your husband isn’t as happy as he once was and your marriage isn’t as connected as it could be.

Am I right?

You know you love your husband, and you know that he used to love you, but now you’re not so sure.

All marriages go through rough patches.

And as time passes the ways in which your husband will express his love will change.

But if you’re wondering whether your husband loves you at all, then this is the article for you.

I’m going to go through all of the signs that suggest he may not love you anymore.

Keep in mind that seeing one or two of these signs doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you, but the more signs you see, then the more likely it is.

1. He just isn’t interested in what’s going on in your life

Early in your marriage and before it, I bet that your husband was grossly interested in your ramblings about your life.

He’d want to know what your goals were, how your job is going and what you want your life to look like in the future.

But for some reason, those conversations have come to a complete stop.

And now you’re asking, “Does my husband love me?”

Whenever you try to talk about something that you’re passionate about, or something that’s going on in your personal life, he just seems to switch off.

He never asks how your day has gone, or what’s happening at work or with your friends.


You try to ask him questions, but he doesn’t seem like he wants to talk.

2. He just won’t listen

No matter what you say to him, he just seems to zone out.

Even everyday mundane topics like changes in your work shift schedule or problems with the bathroom, he seems to forget almost immediately.

Occasionally he grunts or nods, but it’s honestly like he may as well not be in the room when you’re talking.

He’s always on his phone, laptop, or watching TV – basically anything but engaging in a conversation with you.

If your husband isn’t listening to you, that is a sign of serious disrespect. Small talk and conversation are important in a relationship. But there seems to be none of that in yours.

Here are some signs he is not listening to you:

  • He walks away in mid-conversation.
  • He doesn’t answer you when you ask a question.
  • Your husband zones out and does something else while you’re speaking.
  • Any requests you make are never acknowledged or fulfilled.
  • He never wants to talk about anything that isn’t about himself or his interests

3. He has withdrawn from all affection

Watch out for the signs he doesn’t love you anymore.

Many couples kiss each other before saying goodbye for the day or embrace each other warmly when they see each other after a long day of work.

Others hug each other at least once per day or they snuggle on the couch together watching TV at night.

But if your man has withdrawn completely from any actions of affection, then it might be a bad sign that he has fallen out of love with you.

This is especially the case if he used to be quite affectionate and romantic, but now it seems like he just can’t be bothered.

Something has obviously changed.

What happens when you try to show him affection?

If he pulls away even further than that’s not a good sign.

You and your husband are existing in the same space, but there’s just never any type of connection.

Here a some examples he is withdrawing his affection:

  • When you’re watching TV, he avoids cuddling and, instead, finds a seat away from you.
  • He never puts his arm around your shoulder
  • Your husband never compliments you or whispers something funny or sweet in your ear.
  • He never looks lovingly in your eyes.
  • Kisses are non-existent.

4. He is ignoring you

Are you dealing with a toxic husband? Does he ignore your text or take ages to respond? Does he forget to let you know what he is doing after work?

Unfortunately, these signs show that you may not be top of his mind. If he truly loves you, he will want to make time for you and see you whenever he can.

But all is not lost if you have a husband who ignores you.

If you’re tired of feeling neglected, pushed to the side, and feel like your marriage is slipping away, watch this video from relationship expert Brad Browning.

His course, Mend the Marriage, can show you how to save your marriage with his simple yet powerful techniques. Here you’ll discover the 3 critical mistakes that most couples make which can destroy their marriage.

So don’t let go of true love without at least giving yourself a fighting chance.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

5. Trust is gone between the two of you

Respect and trust are huge components of a strong relationship.

But if it seems like your husband has lost both components for you then that’s not a good sign.

How can you tell?

A sign that he has lost respect for you is if he won’t listen to anything you say.

If you give your opinion on an important issue, he doesn’t even consider it.

That is a big sign of disrespect.

And when you say you’ve gone out with your gal friends, he questions what you were really up to.

You used to trust each other and support each other’s ambition in life but now that’s non-existent.

6. He doesn’t want bedroom action anymore

Passion in the bedroom isn’t everything in a relationship, but it can explain a lot.

It’s only natural that most relationships start out with heated passion in the bedroom, but then slowly fizzle into something that fits into a routine.

But that doesn’t mean that it should fizzle away completely.

If bedroom action is never instigated by him, and he hardly ever responds to your efforts to get him in the bedroom, then that’s not a very good sign.

Another sign that he may be falling out of love with you is if the sex between the two of seems almost mechanical like a robot.

There’s no emotional connection. No passion. And it’s simply a race to see who finishes quickest. This is a sign that there’s no real intimacy and emotional connection.

One important consideration is that he may be suffering performance issues in bed, which may have nothing to do with you.

Most men experience this at some point in their lives.

For example, if a man is having trouble with his testosterone levels (because he is getting older, or has other health issues) then he might not have as much blood flowing around.

Therefore, his mind is telling him that he is sexually excited by you, but his groin area isn’t computing.

Look, you don’t need to be spending your entire relationship in bed making sweet, passionate love.

But if you’re experiencing any of the following in your relationship, they may be signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore:

  • He says he’s too tired for sex with you.
  • You’ve caught your husband pleasuring himself to porn, yet your sex life has died out
  • The sex you do have is mechanical and without affection
  • He only wants sex when he’s drunk 
  • He never initiates the love making.

7. He never considers your opinion

We all have our opinions about important issues in life. I’m sure you’re always looking out for your husband and what you believe is best for him.

But if he doesn’t even listen to your opinion when he is dealing with a work or life issue, then that’s a sign that he doesn’t respect you.

A guy doesn’t have to do what his wife tells him to, but he should at least consider her opinion and talk with her about it.

That is what a good marriage is about. But if your husband no longer loves you, he will just ignore what you say and do what he thinks is best.


8. He is completely focused on himself

He only cares about what’s important to him. He’s completely self-centered and rarely considers your feelings or what you’re going through.

He focuses almost exclusively on doing things that please him more than they please you. He hardly ever compromises.

If he used to be less self-centered and more focused on your needs, then this isn’t a good sign.

Sometimes this can be an emotional issue that forces him to focus on himself more.

But it doesn’t excuse him for totally ignoring your needs and wants.

Still, you need to know that relationships are all about balance. 

Of course, if your husband is solely focused on his needs and desires, while disregarding yours, it’s a red flag. 

But what if he needs some time to focus on his needs?

When I found myself in a similar situation, feeling emotionally neglected and overlooked, I turned to the Love and Intimacy Masterclass from the world’s renowned shaman Rudá Iandê.

The self-reflecting questionnaires inserted in this free resource helped me understand that I was becoming overly self-centered as a coping mechanism for my deeper issues.

Now I know how emotional dynamics work in relationships and that’s how I managed to maintain a healthy balance.

So, while your husband’s self-centeredness is a concern, it might also be a sign for both of you to take a step back and focus on yourselves individually. 

And remember, focusing on yourself isn’t about becoming self-centered — it’s about self-awareness and self-love, which are crucial for a balanced relationship. 

Click here to access the free masterclass.

9. He is constantly hanging out with people that aren’t you

Is he staying home late at work? Hanging out with his buddies?

But at the same time, he hardly ever spends time with you?

If you used to do romantic dates and fun things together, but now you feel marginalized in your own relationship, then something is obviously up.

He may find spending time with you not as fun as it used to be and he is avoiding it.

It’s hard to admit but the signs show you’re not a priority in your husband’s life. 

10. Date nights never happen

Date nights are important for any couple. Taking time out to enjoy each other’s company, whether it’s going out for dinner, or even watching a movie while snuggling with each other on the couch, is a sign of a strong relationship.

But it’s a sign that he may be falling out of love with you if these nights are few and far between.

Sure, he might fold and take you out for important nights like your birthday, or anniversary, but even then, if he tries to keep it low-key and doesn’t seem to enjoy himself, then he’s not fully invested in making the most of these date nights.

11. He never seems to compliment you

I think we can both agree that when you’re in love with someone, you can’t help but compliment them.

Whether it’s their cute nose or the way they carry themselves, you just want to let them know how much you admire those traits in them.

But if he never seems to compliment you, or notice anything about you, then it shows where his focus is.

Perhaps in the past, he’d notice immediately when you get your hair done, or you dress a little differently.

But now? He doesn’t even pay attention. Even when you sit down and think about it, you literally can’t remember the last time he gave you a genuine compliment.

Don’t worry. If you need attention from your husband, there are ways you can win his attention back.

12. He treats other people better than the way he treats you

He might tell you he loves you, but his actions speak louder than his words.

If you go out to the restaurant and he seems to pay more respect to the waiter than you, then something is up and it isn’t good.

Those compliments you used to get are now reserved for other people.

He respects the opinion of anyone else but you.

When there are other people around, he seems like the most generous and nice person of all time.

But when it’s just the two of you? He acts almost the opposite. This only serves to show how little respect he has for the marriage these days.

13. He is always irritable with you

We can all get stressed from time to time. This can make us angry and short with others.

But if he seems to be short with you and no one else, then that might be a sign that he is falling out of love with you.

And maybe you’re beginning to hate him for it.

He just seems to lack patience with you and is quick to get angry at even the slightest inconvenience that you cause.

He raises his voice, makes negative remarks, and doesn’t do anything you say.

14. He is gone all the time

Separation can make the heart grow fonder. But if your husband is doing the following, his heart may actually be growing away from you, and it’s possible that he may even be cheating on you. 

Here are some examples of being gone all the time:

  • He spends more time with his friends than with you.
  • His hobbies take up all of his free time, and you’re not invited to join him.   
  • Your husband is always going to happy hours and other events after work that you’re not invited to. 
  • He makes plans with friends but doesn’t invite you because he assumes you won’t be interested.
  • He isolates himself in other parts of the house or in the garage — any place where you’re not

15. He is easily irritated by you

Another sign that your husband may not love you anymore? You feel like you’re on pins and needles when you’re together. Plus, your husband always seems to be:

  • Picking fights with you over the smallest things.
  • Constantly rolling his eyes at you.
  • Frowning or tensing up when you approach him. 
  • Belittling you or saying hurtful things to you. 
  • Annoyed if you have to ask him a question or call him.

16. Your conversations are superficial

It’s one thing to have distance in a relationship, but it hurts even more when the person you used to share your soul with no longer asks about how your day went. 

All that remains now are shallow conversations and an emotional void between you two. Like he’d rather forget the connection than fight for what could be again. 

He won’t talk through his feelings or those of yours; everything’s left unsaid while nothing gets resolved. And it seems like he’d rather just ignore any troubles brewing instead of confronting them head-on.

Could There Be Another Reason?

Before you convince yourself that your husband doesn’t love you anymore, you need to rule out other possible reasons why he might be pulling away from you. For example, could he: 

  • Have a physical illness
    If your husband is pulling away from intimacy, he could be dealing with physical issues, such as erectile dysfunction.  
  • Be suffering with a mental illness 
    Depression or stress could be sapping your husband’s energy, leaving him little to spare for your relationship. 
  • Have an addiction
    If your husband has an addiction — such as to drugs, alcohol or porn — he may not be able to focus his attention on anything but his obsession.

How can you make him love you again? Here are 7 crucial things to do

1. Trigger his hero instinct

If you want your husband to fall back in love with you, trigger his hero instinct.

I mentioned the hero instinct above.

He doesn’t want to be an action hero. But little things like showing him that you appreciate what he does for you and that he feels like he’s contributing to a meaningful relationship will make him feel like an everyday one.

When he doesn’t, he will feel like less of a man. Emasculated. And your husband will lose interest in you over time.

Now, you can’t trigger his hero instinct just giving him admiration next time you see him. Men don’t like receiving participation awards for showing up. Trust me.

A man wants to feel like he has earned your respect.


There’s an art to doing this which can be a lot of fun when you know exactly what to do. But it requires a little more work than just asking him to fix your computer or carry your heavy bags.

The best way to learn how to trigger the hero instinct in your guy is to watch this free online video. James Bauer reveals the things you can say and do to trigger this very natural instinct in your husband.

Here’s a link to the video again.

2. Make time to do fun things together

How can you make your husband happy?

When you’re getting deeper into your marriage, it’s easy to forget to have fun.

The more you mesh your lives together, the more time you seem to spend on chores and just generally mooching about, rather than on exciting dates and adventures.

This is, in part, an inevitable consequence of being in a marriage.

Being able to do boring stuff together as well as partying all night and swinging from the chandeliers is just part of creating a strong, long-term bond.

But unfortunately, this “boredom” can be a significant reason a husband can fall out of love.

So keep this mind:

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean that the fun’s over.

It’s vital that you don’t allow your relationship to end up being just about sensible nights in and saving for the future. This isn’t an either/or kind of choice at all.

You know that famous breakup phrase “I love you but I’m not in love with you”? What that often really means is “we don’t do fun stuff together anymore”.

Having fun together is part of the fabric of a relationship. It is a big part of what binds you together.

In the beginning, fun was what it was all about. Now, it can’t be anything. But you can make sure it’s still a pretty big feature.

The way you do this? It’s boring but schedule some fun time.

If it’s not happening naturally, then you need to take action to make sure it starts happening.

Maybe a regular Saturday night date, a Sunday movie, or just a hot night once in a while. Whatever works for you and your husband.

3. Make him feel loved

Have you told your husband recently that you truly love and appreciate him? If not, do it now. He needs to know these things as much as you do.

Both of you may also need to discuss each other’s love languages.

According to best-selling author Dr. Gary Chapman there are five languages of love. They are words of affirmation; gifts; acts of service; quality time; or physical touch. If your love language is physical touch, then hugs may be important to you.

But if your husband’s love language is acts of service, he may be showing you his love by working on your car.

The two of you need to understand each other’s love language. That way you can effectively communicate your love in a way that your husband can understand. 

4. Go on dates with each other

Make the effort to spend some valuable “alone” time with your husband.

If you have kids, find a sitter. It’s important to set aside time for date nights, so that you and your husband can reignite the love and affection you once had for each other. 

5. Love yourself

Sounds lame? Sure. But if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect your husband to love you?

Think about it:

If you don’t love yourself, then you believe that you are not worthy of love.

And if you think that you’re not worthy of love, then you’re struggling to build a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

We’ve all heard it before. People who are confident in themselves and what they have to offer the world are more attractive to those around them. It’s no different for your husband.

It’s about ensuring that you’re lovable and showing your husband that you’re worthy of love and interest.

Think about your first forays into the dating world as a teenager.

At this age, most of us are nervous and unsure of ourselves. After all, we’re still figuring out our identity and place in the world.

While some lucky people are able to forge long-lasting relationships at that age, most people don’t. Why? Because they haven’t learned how to love themselves enough to be able to achieve it.

As we grow, we learn to love ourselves. Or at least, that’s the theory.

But loving yourself can be difficult to do, even for the most confident person out there.

We’ve grown up believing that loving ourselves is arrogant and narcissistic, but in fact, it’s the opposite.

Show your husband you love and care about yourself, and you’ll be giving him a road map to loving you.

So, how can you learn to love yourself?

It’s definitely difficult, but what you need to keep in mind is that it’s all about what I like to call “radical self-acceptance”.

Radical self-acceptance means acknowledging that you are who you are and that that’s OK. It’s not about accepting your flaws so much as it is about celebrating the whole of you, whatever and whoever you are.

No one is flawless. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has regrets. But many of us spend much of our time trying to change.

I realized this only after I delved into Rudá Iandê’s Love and Intimacy Masterclass that I mentioned above.

Rudá’s teachings helped me understand that loving myself was key to avoiding toxic patterns in relationships and strengthening my bond with my partner.

Yes, you need to dig into your personal needs and wants first in order to start working on your relationship issues.

And if you’re looking for a way to start loving yourself, I can’t recommend a better resource than this.

Here’s the link to the free masterclass again.

6. Love him for who he is

Now, how can you make your husband fall in love with you again?

Your husband is a great guy.  But maybe the way he dresses disappoints you. Or, maybe, you think he could be a bit more ambitious.

In your mind, he just needs to push himself a little harder to become the perfect man. So, you give him little suggestions on ways he can better himself. But then he accuses you of nagging him.

If this has created noticeable friction in your relationship, it may be time to step back and learn to accept him for who he is — warts and all. 

7. Be confident in yourself

Confidence is attractive. If you’re feeling good about yourself, then it is likely your husband will pick up on your confidence and want to spend more time with you.

So, work on bettering yourself and being the best “You” possible. Plus, it’s a lot easier to change yourself than it is to try and change someone else

Love and relationships are like gardens. They need to be tended with care. If you are seeing signs your husband doesn’t love you anymore, don’t give up. Instead, consider these as warning signs, and then take this opportunity to reignite the flame you once had for each other. 

FREE eBook: The Marriage Repair Handbook

Just because a marriage has issues doesn’t mean you’re headed for divorce.

The key is to act now to turn things around before matters get any worse.

If you want practical strategies to dramatically improve your marriage, check out our FREE eBook here.

We have one goal with this book: to help you mend your marriage.

Here’s a link to the free eBook again



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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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