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31 real signs of a great first date (how to know for sure)

Just had a first date? Wondering how it went?

You’re in the right place!

In this article, we’re going to dive deep into everything you need to know to figure out if you had a great first date…or a not-so-great one.

Here are 31 signs your first date went really well:

1) How do you feel the date went?

Before we get stuck into the nitty-gritty of what happened on your date, it’s important to ask yourself how you feel the date went.

If you walked away from the date feeling somewhat positive, then that’s generally a good sign.

It’s more than likely he felt the same thing.

But it doesn’t mean he is attracted to you. It just means you both enjoyed each other’s company.

First impressions are important and how you “felt” when being in the presence of this guy are usually good indicators of whether chemistry (or potential for future chemistry).

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to see how you felt about the date:

Did you enjoy his company?

Did the conversation flow?

Rapport?

Did you wish the date lasted longer?

Do you want to see him again?

Did he like you?

Has he called you yet?

Keep in mind that it’s important to ask how you feel about the date because you need to decide if you want to see him again.

For some, it is all too easy to fall in love with the idea of love.

Take love out of the equation and think about the person. This is who you need to feel the attraction with.

Dating is a game – and you don’t want to be wasting anyone’s time diving into something just for the sake of it.

Were you enticed enough that you want to go on a second date?

If you were, then read on to see if he might feel the same way!

2) You have chemistry

As we mentioned above, feeling the chemistry isn’t the be-all and end-all when it comes to a first date.

But it can be a good sign!

There are some subtle signs that you feel a degree of chemistry towards each other and it all comes down to body language.

Did he match your smile?

Did he mirror your moves?

Did he stare into your eyes as he spoke to you?

Did he lean in closer to hear you better?

I learnt these signs from Carlos Cavallo. He’s one of the world’s leading experts male psychology and what men want from relationships.

If you want to dramatically increase your chances of being with this guy, watch this simple and genuine video.

In this video, Carlos reveals some “genius” phrases you can say to him right now that will make him obsessed over you.

3) It went longer than expected

One of the very best signs that your date went well is when it lasts for longer than you initially planned.

You may have met up to see a movie together, and then ended up getting dinner afterward and then having a drink too to prolong the evening.

Why is this a good sign?

After each activity, you both have the perfect opportunity to make an excuse and leave if you aren’t comfortable.

There is no need to get a friend to bail you out, or make up an excuse. You can simply signal the night is over and that is that.

The fact you both want to stay and the date goes on is a sign both of you felt something.

4) You laughed a lot

Let’s face it, we all know that life is full of plenty of ups and downs.

You want to find someone you can make it through those tough times with and build plenty of happy memories together.

If you found the date flowed with ease and you couldn’t help but laugh out loud every now and then, it’s a great sign.

You both have a similar sense of humor, which will bode well for the future.

When it comes to a relationship, you are never going to agree on everything.

It is important to take pleasure in each other and experience joy together. It will help you deal with whatever comes your way.

5) You both talked a lot

The last thing you want on a first date is one person taking up all the talking time.

Some people can go on and on about themselves, their life, their job, and more.

When this happens, they are either very self-focused (not a great sign when entering into a relationship), or they could be trying to fill a void.

Did he allow you space to talk but you just didn’t take it? This is a sign that you perhaps weren’t that into him and didn’t find it easy to talk.

Did he talk without a break and never ask about you? This is a sign he is into himself and perhaps doesn’t have room for anyone else in his life right now.

Think back to your first date and how the conversation flowed.

It is very easy to gauge whether or not it was equal on both sides.

6) You’re intimate at the end of the night

Back up, back up… intimate doesn’t mean sex (of course it can!).

Some couples like to take things slowly and get to know each other before they dive down that rabbit hole.

Intimate on a first date can also include hugging or kissing at the end of the night.

Or perhaps even hand-holding as he walked you to the car or door.

These are great signs that you are both attracted to each other and see each other as more than just friends.

Physical contact also plays a role in developing that chemistry.

7) He protected you

Even on a first date, a man will display protective instincts towards a woman he’s attracted to.

Did he put his arm around you when you crossed a busy road? Made sure you got home safe? Generally just being a gentleman, like opening the door for you?

These are subtle but important signs he likes you.

What these signs also show is that you’ve triggered the early stages of his hero instinct.

The hero instinct is a new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment.

Essentially, men have a biological urge to protect the women they want to be with. They want to step up for her and be appreciated for their efforts.

In other words, men want to be an everyday hero.

I know it sounds kind of silly. In this day and age, women don’t need a “hero” to protect them.

But here’s the ironic truth.

Men do still need to feel like they are a hero. Because it’s built into their DNA to seek out a relationship with a woman that makes them feel like one.

If you like this guy as much as he likes you, then it would pay to learn the simple ways to trigger his hero instinct. The best place to start is this excellent free video.

The video reveals the texts you can send, phrases you can say, and simple things you can do to trigger this very natural male instinct.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

8) You both put the phones away

It’s no secret that in this day and age, we all have far too much reliance on our mobile phones.

We constantly switch our attention towards it, out of mere habit.

It can take a lot to distract us from our devices. So if you find they stay away for the date, you know you are onto something.

We automatically start scrolling our phones when are bored.

Or go that step further and message a friend to bail us out of this boring date!

Sometimes you might just feel the urge to check your phone, but find you are too polite to do so. Even experiencing this urge is a sign things might not be going as well as you think.

If you managed to get through a night with no phones and no urges to check your phone, then it means that you were both too busy enjoying each other’s company.

9) They remembered the details

You can both smile and nod your way through conversations.

It’s a skill we all learn when we are sitting in boring lectures and dreaming about places we would rather be.

If he is able to recall things you mentioned earlier in the night and delves further into these topics, then he is into you.

He isn’t just nodding and smiling, he is actually listening to what you say.

This isn’t just a great sign that the date went well, but also a great sign for the future of your relationship.

We all dream about having a man who listens to us day in and day out!

10) You have things in common

Sure, everyone (including Hollywood) will tell you that opposites attract.

But it is important that you also have things in common.

Having too many differences can mean you aren’t compatible.

For example:

He eats meat, you are vegetarian.

You exercise daily, he hates it.

You love the outdoors, he loves TV.

Too many of these differences can lead to disaster. You both like to spend your time far too differently.

While there is always room for change and negotiation if the differences are too vast it may not be worth it.

Take a look at the common interests you did share on your first date.

Do you both hold similar values and have similar interests?

Even just a couple make the perfect base for a relationship.

11) You talked about future plans

If there is ever a certain sign your first date went well it’s talking about future plans together.

If a guy isn’t into you, then he isn’t going to bring up the idea of a second date.

After sharing a night with you, listening and sharing, he may pick up a common interest and suggest you try it together in the near future.

For example, he may suggest a movie he thinks you might like or suggest heading to a museum he knows you are interested in.

This shows he is keen to see you again and interested in that second date.

It also shows he has been paying attention to that first date.

12) You added each other on social media

If you both knew each other before this first date, then this won’t apply to you.

But if this is your first time meeting and you add each other on social media – there is something there.

Sure, some of us aren’t selective about who we are friends with on Facebook.

At the same time, we aren’t going to add a date we have no intention of ever seeing again.

Knowing this, if you are both keen to take the relationship online, it means there is a connection there you both want to follow with.

13) He asked questions

We all have those first date questions up to our sleeve.

Where did you grow up?

What do you do for a living?

What do you like to do in your spare time?

If he starts to come out with follow up questions that get much more specific, it’s because he is paying attention and actually wants to get to know you better.

You may find a question about your family leads into where you both grew up, what your siblings were like, things you did in your free time as a child, and more.

He has delved further to discover more about you but is also sharing just as much about his own life.

14) He made you feel comfortable

It is easy to feel nervous and a little anxious on that first date.

The first date is meant to be awkward – well, at least a little.

You are both putting your best foot forward to impress the other, which can lead to some awkward scenarios along the way.

If you are feeling comfortable as the date goes on, then it’s a sign things are going well.

You are both putting each other at ease, which is actually helping the conversation to flow as you open up more.

15) He is thoughtful

Think about the little signs that happened throughout the evening that showed he was looking out for you.

Perhaps your fork fell off the table and he bent to pick it up.

Maybe it got cold after the movie, so he gave you his jacket to stay warm.

It could be something so small that you missed it on the night.

Thinking back, it’s important to acknowledge these little things as great signs.

It shows he is a caring person, who is thoughtful in his actions.

This is not only important in showing the date went well, but also a great quality to be looking for in a partner.

16) The butterflies stayed

Remember those pre-date butterflies as you try to envision the night ahead?

Well, if these are still there when the date is over and he is long gone, then it’s safe to say the first date went well – at least for you!

If you’re still feeling something at the end of the night, then he likely is too.

Whether it was his body language, the way he listened, the way he touched you, or something else, your butterflies are a result of how the evening went.

17) He followed up

Did he call or text you within 24 hours of the date?

That’s generally a good sign that things went well.

Even better if that conversation moves beyond the obligatory: “I hope you got home safe” message.

If you find that his texts have turned into a conversation and you both still have plenty to say, then the first date went well.

There is potential for the future.

18) You weren’t afraid to tease each other

If you weren’t afraid to poke fun at each other in a light-hearted way, then you know the date went well. 

Studies have shown using humor in conversations increases rapport, and telling jokes can bring a sense of calm to the conversation during the flirting process.

You know your connection was through the roof if you teased them just enough that they laughed but not so much that they thought you were an inconsiderate jerk by the end of the day.

It’s only natural for people to enjoy the company of those who banter and challenge them. 

If you managed to throw in a sassy line or two; chances are they left the date thinking you’re confident, witty, and undeniably attractive.

So much so that they could already be planning date number two!

19) You were mirroring each other’s body language

You know your first date went well if your date was mirroring your body language.

They’ll leave saying they feel like they’ve known you forever and not even know why.

The reason why is that they felt like they were talking to themselves all night, in the best way possible.

This is actually rooted in the brain’s Mirror Neuron System.

This network of the brain is the social glue that binds people together.

A greater level of activation of the Mirror Neuron System is associated with liking and cooperation.

How do you do this?

Talk at a similar pace. If using relaxed body language, do the same. If they’re expressive with their hands, feel free to do the same.

20) You both participated equally in the conversation

What was the conversation like? How much did he speak compared to you?

If he spent the entire time talking about himself and struggled to listen to anything you had to say, then it may not have been a very good first date.

But if it was a great first date, then he would have listened to you and asked you follow-up questions to what you were saying.

And because you were both making an effort to listen to each other, you probably found some mutual interests.

21) You were interested in each other’s differences

It doesn’t matter if you are very different from each other. What matters is if you were curious about each other’s differences and you were able to keep the conversation flowing.

Being curious and non-judgemental is a hallmark of a great first date. It shows you both want to make things work, even though you might have differences.

Attention is the most basic form of love, and paying attention to someone takes conscious effort because that means you are choosing to focus on that one person and to process what they’re saying.

Yes, discovering common interests are important, but being interested and attracted to each other is more important.

22) You made deep eye contact with one another

The eyes reveal a lot.

Did he stare deeply into your eyes when you were talking? Good sign.

When he spoke to you, did his eyes light up? If so, he was enjoying himself and he wanted to make a good impression.

When you went to the toilet, was he looking at you when you turned around? Yep, he was checking you out.

Look, obviously when you’re talking with someone you’re going to be looking into each other’s eyes.

But when it comes to attraction, eye contact is different.

Studies have shown that when viewing images of someone that you find attractive it can illicit a nonverbal response of pupil dilation.

Another interesting study asked volunteers to look at photos of strangers and answer whether they were attracted to them romantically or sexually.

When it was sexual, the volunteers looked straight at the person’s body.

But when it was a romantic interest, they looked straight at the person’s face.

So if you felt like he was looking into your eyes rather than your body, then he’s interested in who you are as a person, not as a sex object.

23) You were both very comfortable getting close to each other

Obviously, you both felt comfortable with one another if you were able to casually touch each other.

It doesn’t have to be in an intimate way, even subtle touching is a great sign.

Other positive body-language cues include leaning in when you were talking or getting ultra-close to each other.

You had a great first date if you can say yes to any of the above.

24) They didn’t make any preemptive excuses

Did he tell you that he won’t be able to see you over the next two weeks because he is busy?

Not the best sign.

If he already hinted that he doesn’t want to see you again or “he isn’t looking for anything serious” then perhaps he didn’t enjoy himself on your date.

After all, he’s already thinking about avoiding a future awkward rejection in the future.

25) You talked about your friends and family to each other

This is a great sign that you both got along and you’re willing to share more about your life to each other.

Perhaps he told you stories about his friends, or he was listening intently when you spoke about your friends or family.

It’s an extremely good sign that he enjoyed your company if he said something like “I can’t wait to meet your friend …. She sounds fun!”

It shows that he is already thinking about taking things further and being a part of your life.

26) It wasn’t just small-talk the whole time

If your conversations never really led anywhere then it might show that there wasn’t much rapport between the two of you.

In general, when both people are making an effort in a conversation, the conversation naturally leads down a deeper path.

This is especially the case if he is thinking about dating you. He’ll be curious about who you are and will want to know what he is getting himself involved in.

Furthermore, if your conversations were deep, then it shows that you were comfortable enough with each other to reveal more yourself.

That’s a great sign that you may have connected on an intellectual and spiritual level.

27) He didn’t talk about his ex

If he didn’t bring up his ex, then that’s definitely a good sign!

If he did bring his ex up, then might point to the fact that he’s not ready for a relationship.

Kristen Fuller, M.D. says, “Bringing up an ex on a first date can make you seem like you may still have feelings for him or her or you may have some unresolved issues that need to be addressed.”

28) He walked you to where you went after the date

Gentleman alert!

A guy who didn’t have a good time with you wouldn’t bother walking you to where you were going next.

It shows that he is keen on you and he wanted to make a good impression.

Furthermore, if he lingered around when he was saying goodbye to you, then it probably showed that he wanted a romantic kiss from you!

29) He followed up after the date

Well, this speaks for itself, doesn’t it!

If he has texted you after the date has finished then clearly he wants to see you again.

And if he wants to see you again, then he definitely had a good time with you!

30) You could feel the physical attraction and sexual tension

It could have been something as simple as wanting to be closer to them or something more intimate like some sexual tension.

Either way, it was like you both had some sort of magnetic feeling between you.

If you felt on the date that there was something drawing you to each other physically, there’s definitely some chemistry there.

Sexual tension happens “when we desire someone but do not act on that desire”.

Don’t fret if it wasn’t there though. This could either come around as soon as you meet or it could also be developed over time.

Feeling sexual attraction towards each other is an important part of a healthy relationship because of the bond it creates and the love you can express.

31) You had a similar sense of humor

Research has revealed that there were higher levels of romantic attraction between people who have the same type of humor.

While it may not be a big deal to some people, knowing how to make each other laugh and smile without trying too hard to be funny contributes to chemistry.

So if you both laughed and smile together, then that’s definitely a good sign that you had a great date.

It’s important that you get each other’s jokes, mostly because the kind of jokes you make says a lot about you (like dark jokes) but also because you want to avoid the awkward silences that follow a joke that needs more explanation.

Jokes that you both get and truly make you smile can brighten up your day or lighten the mood when you’re feeling down. Both experiences can boost your chemistry with each other.

Your First Date Went So Well, Why Don’t They Want A Second?

You may have made your way through each of these signs and ticked all the boxes.

In your eyes, this first date was a huge success!

So why doesn’t he want a second one?

There are plenty of reasons you may have found yourself in this boat.

1) They like you, just not romantically

If you think about it, good friends can have plenty of fun on a date. You have plenty to chat about, have some connection, and enjoy each other’s company. But this doesn’t mean you are romantically into each other.

This may be the case with your date. They may just see you as a friend they enjoy spending time with.

At the end of the day, the chemistry may just not be there for them.

Be thankful they realized it now and haven’t led you on for the sake of it.

2) They’re not ready for a relationship

Believe it or not (we know you do), some guys are on the dating market simply looking for sex.

They may have felt the same way you did – which has sent them running for the hills.

It’s no secret that guys mature later than girls.

If he isn’t ready to settle down into a relationship, there isn’t much you can do about it.

If anything, he has seen something there and knows with you – it’s more than just sex. Which has scared him away.

3) You remind them of someone else

Sometimes, it is nothing you did wrong.

You read the signs right – you both got on well and there was some chemistry between you.

It may simply boil down to the fact you remind him of someone.

Perhaps it is an ex he isn’t quite over, or it ended badly with.

It could be a friend he had a falling out with.

This familiarity can be enough to turn them off pursuing a second date with you.

Planning A Second Date

If your first date was successful and you are both keen for a second date – hooray! That’s great news.

Remember not to place too much pressure on yourself to make it as perfect as the first date.

Now that you have broken down that barrier, it is time to get to know each other better and feel more at ease.

As this happens, you will see more things you like, but also perhaps things you don’t.

The same will be true for him.

This essential getting to know each other period is important for any relationship.

Let it run its course and don’t go running for the hills at the first hint of something you don’t like.

Love isn’t perfect – so don’t expect your partner to be.

Falling in love means falling in love with all of them. Give it a chance! You never know where it might lead.

The only sign you need

There really is nothing more nerve-wracking than heading off on that first date.

And when it ends, and you know you had a great time, it’s only natural to want to know if he felt the same.

You’d hate for it to be one-sided!

While all the signs listed above will give you a great idea of whether or not he felt the same way, there really is only one that you need to know for sure.

The hero instinct.

I mentioned this sign above, but it’s such a game-changer in the relationship world that I needed to bring it up again.

If your date went out of his way to protect you and felt essential and needed in those hours, then you can guarantee he is hooked.

It’s clear that you brought out his protective instincts, enabling him to step up to the plate and show you the kind of respect you deserve.

All men have this biological urge that is built into their DNA. They want to feel like the protector, and if you allow them, they will step up for you and be the man you need.

This term was coined by relationship psychologist James Bauer. To learn how to activate the hero instinct in your man, check out this free video.

So, what happens if you didn’t trigger this instinct on that first date?

Don’t despair, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost. There’s a good chance that if the other signs are there, he will still be calling you for that second date. The benefit is, you now know exactly how to hook him.

It’s time to learn all about it so you’re prepared for date number two.

Here’s a link to James’ video again.

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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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