Just had a first date? Wondering how it went?
You’re not alone. First dates are always nerve-wracking.
Those butterflies in your stomach as you pick out what to wear.
The uncertainty about whether or not the conversation will flow.
Wondering whether you will have a connection or want to bail after five minutes.
No matter whether you are old friends or meeting on a blind date, nothing can take away those first date jitters.
They are not only normal but also make dating fun!
So the question is:
How can you tell whether your first date went well?
It’s a question everyone asks. Here are 17 signs to look out for.
Reflecting On Your First Date
Before you dive into whether the first date was a success or not, it’s important to consider your own feelings.
First impressions are important and a good indication of the future of your relationship.
Did you enjoy his company?
Did you wish the date lasted longer?
Do you want to see him again?
For some, it is all too easy to fall in love with the idea of love.
Take love out of the equation and think about the person. This is who you need to feel the attraction with.
Dating is a game – and you don’t want to be wasting anyone’s time diving into something just for the sake of it.
Were you enticed enough that you want to go on a second date?
If you were, then read on to see if he might feel the same way!
Finding That Spark On The First Date
Being on the dating scene can be fun, exhilarating, and nerve-racking all in one.
But many of us get hung up on finding that spark with someone. So much so, that we are too quick to dismiss a potential partner.
We all want to feel that spark, but if it doesn’t happen immediately, it isn’t cause for concern.
In fact, if you ask the experts, they think we should all take a chill pill.
Not feeling those sparks on the first date isn’t the be-all and end-all.
After all, it’s just the first date!
You are both feeling nervous and probably not quite yourselves.
Barriers are up to give off the best first impression possible. Barriers that can get in the way of getting to know each other and forming that spark.
That doesn’t mean you should risk a second date with someone you felt no chemistry for at all.
Instead, you need to consider whether you liked the person and if you can see potential.
Forget the spark.
Forget falling in love.
Focus on the person.
Hollywood has set us up for failure in this department, and sometimes we need to give love a little bit more time.
Here are the signs to look out for to know whether that first date went well and if there is potential for the two of you.
17 Signs Your First Date Went Well
1) It Went Longer Than Expected
One of the very best signs that your date went well is when it lasts for longer than you initially planned.
You may have met up to see a movie together, and then ended up getting dinner afterward and then having a drink too to prolong the evening.
Why is this a good sign?
After each activity, you both have the perfect opportunity to make an excuse and leave if you aren’t comfortable.
There is no need to get a friend to bail you out, or make up an excuse. You can simply signal the night is over and that is that.
The fact you both want to stay and the date goes on is a sign both of you felt something.
2) You Laughed A Lot
Let’s face it, we all know that life is full of plenty of ups and downs.
You want to find someone you can make it through those tough times with and build plenty of happy memories together.
If you found the date flowed with ease and you couldn’t help but laugh out loud every now and then, it’s a great sign.
You both have a similar sense of humor, which will bode well for the future.
When it comes to a relationship, you are never going to agree on everything.
It is important to take pleasure in each other and experience joy together. It will help you deal with whatever comes your way.
3) You Have Chemistry
As we mentioned above, feeling the chemistry isn’t the be-all and end-all when it comes to a first date.
But it can be a good sign!
There are some subtle signs that you feel a degree of chemistry towards each other and it all comes down to body language.
Did he match your smile?
Did he mirror your moves?
Did he stare into your eyes as he spoke to you?
Did he lean in closer to hear you better?
These are all signs he is interested in and hooked on every work. If you notice this body language from them, it’s a good sign he likes you a lot.
Recommended reading: 26 effective first date tips to make a great impression
4) You Both Talked A Lot
The last thing you want on a first date is one person taking up all the talking time.
Some people can go on and on about themselves, their life, their job, and more.
When this happens, they are either very self-focused (not a great sign when entering into a relationship), or they could be trying to fill a void.
Did he allow you space to talk but you just didn’t take it? This is a sign that you perhaps weren’t that into him and didn’t find it easy to talk.
Did he talk without a break and never ask about you? This is a sign he is into himself and perhaps doesn’t have room for anyone else in his life right now.
Think back to your first date and how the conversation flowed.
It is very easy to gauge whether or not it was equal on both sides.
5) You’re Intimate At The End Of The Night
Back up, back up… intimate doesn’t mean sex (of course it can!).
Some couples like to take things slowly and get to know each other before they dive down that rabbit hole.
Intimate on a first date can also include hugging or kissing at the end of the night.
Or perhaps even hand-holding as he walked you to the car or door.
These are great signs that you are both attracted to each other and see each other as more than just friends.
Physical contact also plays a role in developing that chemistry.
6) You Both Put The Phones Away
It’s no secret that in this day and age, we all have far too much reliance on our mobile phones.
We constantly switch our attention towards it, out of mere habit.
It can take a lot to distract us from our devices. So if you find they stay away for the date, you know you are onto something.
We automatically start scrolling our phones when are bored.
Or go that step further and message a friend to bail us out of this boring date!
Sometimes you might just feel the urge to check your phone, but find you are too polite to do so. Even experiencing this urge is a sign things might not be going as well as you think.
If you managed to get through a night with no phones and no urges to check your phone, then it means that you were both too busy enjoying each other’s company.
7) They Remembered The Details
You can both smile and nod your way through conversations.
It’s a skill we all learn when we are sitting in boring lectures and dreaming about places we would rather be.
If he is able to recall things you mentioned earlier in the night and delves further into these topics, then he is into you.
He isn’t just nodding and smiling, he is actually listening to what you say.
This isn’t just a great sign that the date went well, but also a great sign for the future of your relationship.
We all dream about having a man who listens to us day in and day out!
8) You Have Things In Common
Sure, everyone (including Hollywood) will tell you that opposites attract.
But it is important that you also have things in common.
Having too many differences can mean you aren’t compatible.
He eats meat, you are vegetarian.
You exercise daily, he hates it.
You love the outdoors, he loves TV.
Too many of these differences can lead to disaster. You both like to spend your time far too differently.
While there is always room for change and negotiation if the differences are too vast it may not be worth it.
Take a look at the common interests you did share on your first date.
Do you both hold similar values and have similar interests?
Even just a couple make the perfect base for a relationship.
9) You Talked About Future Plans
If there is ever a certain sign your first date went well it’s talking about future plans together.
If a guy isn’t into you, then he isn’t going to bring up the idea of a second date.
After sharing a night with you, listening and sharing, he may pick up a common interest and suggest you try it together in the near future.
For example, he may suggest a movie he thinks you might like or suggest heading to a museum he knows you are interested in.
This shows he is keen to see you again and interested in that second date.
It also shows he has been paying attention to that first date.
10) You Both Added Each Other On Social Media
If you both knew each other before this first date, then this won’t apply to you.
But if this is your first time meeting and you add each other on social media – there is something there.
Sure, some of us aren’t selective about who we are friends with on Facebook.
At the same time, we aren’t going to add a date we have no intention of ever seeing again.
Knowing this, if you are both keen to take the relationship online, it means there is a connection there you both want to follow with.
11) He Asked Questions
We all have those first date questions up to our sleeve.
Where did you grow up?
What do you do for a living?
What do you like to do in your spare time?
If he starts to come out with follow up questions that get much more specific, it’s because he is paying attention and actually wants to get to know you better.
You may find a question about your family leads into where you both grew up, what your siblings were like, things you did in your free time as a child, and more.
He has delved further to discover more about you but is also sharing just as much about his own life.
12) He Made You Feel Comfortable
It is easy to feel nervous and a little anxious on that first date.
The first date is meant to be awkward – well, at least a little.
You are both putting your best foot forward to impress the other, which can lead to some awkward scenarios along the way.
If you are feeling comfortable as the date goes on, then it’s a sign things are going well.
You are both putting each other at ease, which is actually helping the conversation to flow as you open up more.
13) He Is Thoughtful
Think about the little signs that happened throughout the evening that showed he was looking out for you.
Perhaps your fork fell off the table and he bent to pick it up.
Maybe it got cold after the movie, so he gave you his jacket to stay warm.
It could be something so small that you missed it on the night.
Thinking back, it’s important to acknowledge these little things as great signs.
It shows he is a caring person, who is thoughtful in his actions.
This is not only important in showing the date went well, but also a great quality to be looking for in a partner.
14) The Butterflies Stayed
Remember those pre-date butterflies as you try to envision the night ahead?
Well, if these are still there when the date is over and he is long gone, then it’s safe to say the first date went well – at least for you!
If you’re still feeling something at the end of the night, then he likely is too.
Whether it was his body language, the way he listened, the way he touched you, or something else, your butterflies are a result of how the evening went.
15) He Followed Up
Did he call or text you within 24 hours of the date?
That’s generally a good sign that things went well.
Even better if that conversation moves beyond the obligatory: “I hope you got home safe” message.
If you find that his texts have turned into a conversation and you both still have plenty to say, then the first date went well.
There is potential for the future.
16) You weren’t afraid to tease each other
If you weren’t afraid to poke fun at each other in a light-hearted way, then you know the date went well.
Studies have shown using humor in conversations increases rapport, and telling jokes can bring a sense of calm to the conversation during the flirting process.
You know your connection was through the roof if you teased them just enough that they laughed but not so much that they thought you were an inconsiderate jerk by the end of the day.
It’s only natural for people to enjoy the company of those who banter and challenge them.
If you managed to throw in a sassy line or two; chances are they left the date thinking you’re confident, witty, and undeniably attractive.
So much so that they could already be planning date number two!
17) You were mirroring each other’s body language
You know your first date went well if your date was mirroring your body language.
They’ll leave saying they feel like they’ve known you forever and not even know why.
The reason why is that they felt like they were talking to themselves all night, in the best way possible.
This is actually rooted in the brain’s Mirror Neuron System.
This network of the brain is the social glue that binds people together.
A greater level of activation of the Mirror Neuron System is associated with liking and cooperation.
How do you do this?
Talk at a similar pace. If using relaxed body language, do the same. If they’re expressive with their hands, feel free to do the same.
Your First Date Went So Well, Why Don’t They Want A Second?
You may have made your way through each of these signs and ticked all the boxes.
In your eyes, this first date was a huge success!
So why doesn’t he want a second one?
There are plenty of reasons you may have found yourself in this boat.
1) They like you, just not romantically
If you think about it, good friends can have plenty of fun on a date. You have plenty to chat about, have some connection, and enjoy each other’s company. But this doesn’t mean you are romantically into each other.
This may be the case with your date. They may just see you as a friend they enjoy spending time with.
At the end of the day, the chemistry may just not be there for them.
Be thankful they realized it now and haven’t led you on for the sake of it.
2) They’re not ready for a relationship
Believe it or not (we know you do), some guys are on the dating market simply looking for sex.
They may have felt the same way you did – which has sent them running for the hills.
It’s no secret that guys mature later than girls.
If he isn’t ready to settle down into a relationship, there isn’t much you can do about it.
If anything, he has seen something there and knows with you – it’s more than just sex. Which has scared him away.
3) You remind them of someone else
Sometimes, it is nothing you did wrong.
You read the signs right – you both got on well and there was some chemistry between you.
It may simply boil down to the fact you remind him of someone.
Perhaps it is an ex he isn’t quite over, or it ended badly with.
It could be a friend he had a falling out with.
This familiarity can be enough to turn them off pursuing a second date with you.
Planning A Second Date
If your first date was successful and you are both keen for a second date – hooray! That’s great news.
Remember not to place too much pressure on yourself to make it as perfect as the first date.
Now that you have broken down that barrier, it is time to get to know each other better and feel more at ease.
As this happens, you will see more things you like, but also perhaps things you don’t.
The same will be true for him.
This essential getting to know each other period is important for any relationship.
Let it run its course and don’t go running for the hills at the first hint of something you don’t like.
Love isn’t perfect – so don’t expect your partner to be.
Falling in love means falling in love with all of them. Give it a chance! You never know where it might lead.
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