What do you do when your female boss seems to like you, but she never says anything so you can’t be sure?
It’s a tricky one.
After all, this isn’t just an old office romance, this is with your boss. So you probably feel like you need to tread more carefully.
Luckily, there are some clear signs that your female boss is interested in you, even if she isn’t telling.
If you want to know for certain whether she likes you, then read on. You need to take note of these signs your female boss likes you but is hiding it.
How do I know if my female boss is attracted to me?
1) She gives you unwork related compliments
Sure, if your female boss is encouraging and complimentary about your work performance, it’s normal. This probably just means that she thinks highly of you and that she sees potential in you.
For example, it might be about your physical appearance. Perhaps she notices your new haircut, tells you how much she likes that color shirt on you, or how you look like you’ve been working out a lot recently.
Or it might be around a particular quality you have. That could be noticing that you’re “so funny” or “such a sweet guy”.
2) She asks you a lot of personal questions
You could also see it as a sign of interest if she asks a lot of questions about your personal life.
If she starts asking you about yourself, what you do at home, where you live, who with etc., then chances are she’s interested in you.
She wants to get to know you better, or maybe she’s even trying to find out if you’re single.
You will feel the difference between what is general polite office chit-chat and the sense that she is fishing for more information about you.
If she is taking too much of an interest in your private life then she could have ulterior motives for wanting to find out more.
3) She treats you differently than other people
The way she is with you in the office seems unique in comparison with your colleagues.
She might give you preferential treatment, like giving you much better shifts, letting you leave early, or giving you the bigger and better projects to work on.
In whatever way it is, both big and small, she is definitely treating you differently from everyone else.
On its own, this could just be a sign of respect. But her favoritism could also be based less on merit and more on her interest in you.
It might even feel like you have your own little exclusive club. She lets you into her inner circle, but not anybody else.
This is a clear indication that she likes you.
4) Her body language gives it away
When you want to know whether your female boss secretly likes you, body language is going to be a powerful tool for the deduction.
That’s because those subtle cues we are all constantly (and often inadvertently) giving off to each other reveal so much.
In fact, research has found that communication is 55% nonverbal, 38% vocal, and only 7% words.
So your boss doesn’t need to tell you outright that she is interested in the clues to be there.
Maybe she fiddles with her hair constantly in front of you.
She opens up her body towards you, always making sure to face you. When she crosses her legs, it’s always pointing towards you.
Or she might “accidentally” touch you.
There are lots of subtle signals women send through their body language. All you have to do is look out for these cues.
5) She creates situations of being alone
Your female boss may be trying to show you that she likes you, but she may also be afraid of saying something because of the consequences.
So in order to spend more time with you, she might try to orchestrate times and places for you two to be alone.
For example, she asks you to do something for her, but she may actually be trying to get closer to you.
It could be working late together on something, or having working lunches to discuss a project.
If you are the one who is constantly singled out for private meetings and one-on-one time, you might start to wonder why.
6) You feel mutual chemistry
Often the biggest indicator of attraction between you and your female boss comes down to a good old-fashioned gut feeling.
We’re actually experts at reading one another. The survival of our species has depended on it.
When there is mutual attraction, that chemistry can be very hard to disguise, no matter how hard we try.
You can sense when someone feels attracted to you, even if they don’t say anything about it.
It’s called chemistry for good reason. We tend to get flooded with feel-good hormones that create those butterfly feelings.
Those chemical reactions intensely draw you to someone and can create a sense of sexual tension when you are together.
7) She messages you outside of work for no reason
Sending you a text to ask if you can work on Saturday is one thing, but does your female boss send you messages for no real reason?
If yes, then she is probably trying to strike up a rapport outside of work. It’s even stranger is she decides to call you “just to chat”.
Look out for conversation starters she makes over messages or social media that don’t have any point to them.
It could include sharing memes or funny content and saying something along the lines of “this really made me think of you”.
Perhaps she sees something she decides to share because “I thought you’d like this”.
Contacting you outside of work certainly sounds like she wants the relationship to be more than just professional.
8) She tells you private things
It’s normal to be friends with colleagues, and plenty of people also become friendly with their boss. But usually, there is a line.
Private details about your life aren’t always appropriate to share with someone when you’re their boss.
So if she shares really personal or private information with you, and only you, about what is going on in her life then she obviously trusts you.
Maybe she starts to open up to you about something that is bothering her, or perhaps she needs some advice from you.
If she is confiding in you about both work and personal matters it’s a really strong sign your female boss likes you.
9) Colleagues have commented on it
Maybe you aren’t the only one who has your suspicions that your female boss is attracted to you.
Perhaps your colleagues have also picked up on it too. They may have asked whether something is going on or said that they are convinced she is into you.
They’ve noticed subtle changes in her behavior towards you, or maybe they have started to pick up on her making comments about you.
If it’s a bit of a workplace joke that the boss has the hots for you, you know what they say:
There’s no smoke without fire.
Your colleagues’ perception could well be right.
10) She’s started making more of an effort in her appearance
One of the most instinctively primal things we do when we’re wanting to attract someone is trying to look our best.
If she has her eye on someone at the office, whether she is planning to do anything about it or not, she’ll most likely put extra time and effort into looking good.
When it comes to women, dressing nicely is often a way to show off their best assets, and make themselves feel attractive and more confident.
So if your female boss suddenly starts putting in more effort with her makeup or clothes, it might mean she’s interested in you.
This includes things like taking care of her hair, nails, what she wears, and makeup. She may be trying to secretly impress you.
11) She suggests going out for a drink
Wanting to see you outside of work is an obvious sign your female boss likes you. Getting together after hours means you can talk privately.
You need to watch out for behavior that is not typical. For example, inviting the entire team for a drink straight after work probably doesn’t mean anything.
But if she suggests a time and place where it will be just the two of your, it’s far more significant.
Particularly when alcohol is involved in your out-of-work hangouts, it could be her way of hoping things will progress.
Having a drink or two tends to loosen our boundaries and bring our walls down.
12) Her mood lifts around you
Her face might light up with a huge smile as soon as you walk into the office. Maybe she laughs a bit too hard at your jokes.
It seems as though she is a lot happier whenever you are around. Her mood is far lighter and friendlier around you than it is anyone else.
This is a clear indication that she likes you. She is subtly reacting to your presence. Something you give off creates this shift whenever you are around her.
13) She gets flustered around you
Not all signs your boss secretly likes you will come down to flirty behavior or special treatment.
The reality could be that if your female boss has a crush on you and is trying to hide it, she may get very flustered when you are around.
She could feel embarrassed about her feelings. She doesn’t want people to find out and she is worried it could be obvious.
This might cause her to act tongue-tied, or become a little awkward in your presence.
You may notice she looks at the floor rather than at you, or her cheeks flush a little bit.
14) It’s in her eyes
Eyes give a lot away.
In fact, eye contact is very often an important part of flirting and displaying attraction.
You might catch her looking at you almost as if she is checking you out. Even if she quickly looks away as soon as you catch her eye.
Perhaps she holds your eye contact that little bit too long than is normal…
It could even be something detectable changes in her eyes around you. It’s almost as though her eyes have an extra glint whenever you two are talking.
When we are very engaged with another person, it can be very apparent in the eyes.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.
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