14 obvious signs your ex misses you (and what to do about it) 

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It’s a sad fact, but not all relationships last. Something that may have started out amazing could quickly turn sour for several reasons.

It’s heartbreaking to lose someone you once cared for so much; in some cases, it might be necessary.

But even though the relationship ends, it doesn’t mean that the feelings shared between the two of you can be switched off instantly.

Here are some obvious signs that your ex is still thinking about you and misses you.

1) They text you unexpectedly

It’s pretty strange and stomach-jolting to receive a text from your ex out of the blue. Your mind will race with different thoughts, and you could experience a range of intense emotions.

The message they send is not always important; it’s more of the fact that they messaged you at all.

You should also take note of the time they send the message. It will usually be late at night or early hours of the morning. This is a common time for people to reminisce about their life and reach out to those they have unresolved issues with.

Generally, your ex will only reach out to you if they miss you.

Once you get over the initial shock of them messaging you, you can pay more attention to what’s in the text.

If they send something generic or a chain message, then they are testing out the waters with you and want to see if you’ll respond. In this case, you shouldn’t reply or even react to their message because they have given you no indication that their situation or feelings have even changed.

If their message is more personalized, then you should carefully evaluate what they have said and decide whether it’s worth a response. Even the kindest messages could have ill intentions, so it’s crucial you trust your intuition.

You were in a relationship with this person and can gauge whether them reaching out to you now is something you need or even want to respond to.

2) Admit they’re wrong and apologize after a long time

If your ex reaches out to you after a long time and claims they know they were wrong about something that happened in the relationship, it is definitely a sign that they’re missing you.

Often people only realize the value of something and someone once they have lost it and had time to reflect on the entire situation.

Most arguments and break-ups end in a drastic way because both partners’ egos come into play. Usually, once we’ve had time to think about things logically and from the other person’s perspective, we see how much more the love outweighed the negative stuff.

So, if your ex comes back to you with an apology and you also feel like there are unresolved issues you would like to get off your chest, then it’s important to do so.

But it’s vital to properly examine the apology to know if it is genuine or not. You do get people who are manipulative and will lie about how they’re feeling to get you back.

Read through their message a few times and decide if they actually addressed the issue that caused your breakup. Also, read between the lines to figure out if they’ve learned their lesson.

If you genuinely feel like their apology is worthy of a conversation, then you can reply to them and see where it leads you, but if you feel like they haven’t fully addressed the issues, then it’s best to delete the message without replying.

3) Send you gifts

Let’s admit it, receiving a gift or gifts from an ex is really confusing. Did they order it for you before you got together, or have they purchased it now because they still have feelings for you?

Well, firstly, if an ex gets you a gift, they’re clearly thinking about you and missing you.

But the way in which they miss you can differ greatly based on the relationship you had.

Some people were really good friends first and then decided to date, only to find out they worked better as friends. If this is the case, then they probably miss the friendship you had and may buy you little gifts that they think you’ll like.

However, if you ended a relationship in a negative way, where the other person did something terrible to you, and now they decide to get you a gift, then they’re just trying to get you back without actually putting any effort into the relationship.

Your ex could also send you a gift if they ordered it before you broke up, and even though the relationship ended, they still feel you should have the gift.

Here you can decide if you’ll keep it or not since it was purchased with good intentions. But if you feel it’s just going to be a reminder of a relationship you’re trying to forget, then accepting it might not be a good idea.

I mentioned earlier how the help of a gifted advisor can reveal the truth about whether or not your ex misses you.

You could analyze the signs until you reach the conclusion you’re looking for, but getting guidance from someone with extra intuition will give you real clarity on the situation.

I know from experience how helpful it can be. When I was going through a similar problem to you, they gave me the guidance I sorely needed.

4) They ask mutual contacts about you

One of the worst parts of a breakup is your mutual friends not knowing whose side to be on. In most cases, the friends still hang out with both partners but on separate occasions.

If your ex is missing you, they might enquire about your well-being or other personal details about your life with your mutual friends.

It is natural to wonder how your ex is and what they’re doing, but if your friends admit that this person is asking about you incessantly to the point where they make others uncomfortable, then it’s a problem.

It’s hard to imagine that someone we once loved and thought we knew could turn into someone we would one day be scared of. However, if someone keeps asking about you, it is a form of stalking, and who knows if they’re trying other methods to obtain more information about you.

If your ex misses you and wishes to change anything about the way your relationship ended, then they should reach out and tell you themselves.

Anyone who is silently watching what you do is not good.

In such cases, it’s best to ensure you inform your friends not to disclose any of your personal details or relationship status with your ex.

If they find that difficult to do, then just be more selective about what you share with them.

5) Text you to ask if you’re in another relationship

An ex texting you at all can be surprising but them straight out asking if you’re in a new relationship is an obvious sign they’re missing you.

Now, someone missing you is always construed as cute, and in most cases, it is, but in others, it can be quite selfish.

Sometimes someone missing you is all about them and how they feel when you’re not around. They want you to keep doing the things you’ve always done for them but refuse to be the person that you need.

Also, pay attention to the way they ask you this question. Does it sound arrogant? Almost as if you’re a bad person for moving on from them.

Or are they sad? And you get the feeling they realized something special and can’t get it back.

In a situation like this, respect is the keyword. Your ex should treat you with proper respect, or else they don’t deserve your time.

It’s good to know that your ex misses you because it will help you heal from the breakup and not just feel like the entire relationship meant nothing to your ex.

But there’s no need for you to respond if you feel it will make you or your ex feel bad. By ignoring them, they eventually get the message that you aren’t interested and will leave you (and your new partner) alone.

6) Running into them often

Bumping into an ex can be awkward for both parties depending on the way the relationship ended.

However, if you see them everywhere, especially in all the places they know you like and would be at, then it could be concerning.

It also means they miss you and want to see your face in any way they possibly can.

You need to examine the feelings you have when you see them. Do you miss them as well? Are you annoyed they keep popping up while you’re trying to get over them?

If you miss them too and want to reach out, then don’t be afraid to do so. They’ll likely be receptive to your gesture and reciprocate it.

However, if you don’t want to keep running into your ex, then it might be beneficial to change your schedule if you can. This way, you don’t have to approach your ex, and you still get to do everything you need to.

In some instances, you might have to confront your ex about it. They will probably make excuses, but it’s important that you’re firm about not wanting them around you. Once you’re done, try to put them out of your mind and manifest more peace in your life.

If they don’t listen to you and still keep showing up, then you should just pretend they’re not there, and eventually, you won’t even acknowledge them. Your ex will also give up because they know they can’t get you back.

7) Express interest in things you’re doing now

If your ex is only now curious about things they know you’re doing and interested in, then they miss you and are trying to find a way to reconnect with you.

This isn’t always a bad thing because it proves that they’re making an effort to talk about something you love. It means that they want to know you even better than they already do.

But sometimes, it just means they want to get you back and will pretend to be the person you need. It’s important to see if this newfound interest in what you’re doing is genuine or has an ulterior motive.

If they strike up a conversation about something they know you’d want to talk about, ask questions about why they suddenly have an interest. Pry deeper into their intentions and trust any intuitive feelings you have about their responses.

In some cases, your ex can become a friend if they are moving forward in the same direction and harbor only platonic feelings.

However, if they or you are thinking about giving the relationship another go, then it’s vital you address all the issues that caused you to break up in the first place.

8) Get tailor made advice for your situation

While this article explores the main and most obvious signs that your ex misses you, it can be helpful to speak to a relationship coach about your situation.

With a professional relationship coach, you can get advice specific to your life and your experiences…

Relationship Hero is a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations, like whether or not you should get back with your ex or if you’re reading too much into their behavior.

They’re a very popular resource for people facing this sort of challenge.

How do I know?

Well, I reached out to them a few months ago when I was going through a tough patch in my own relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

Click here to get started.

9) They want to meet up with you

If your ex is reaching out and asking for coffee dates, then they miss you and probably want to reconcile with you.

But that doesn’t have to be the only meaning. Depending on the person they are, they could also be wanting to make amends and move on with their life.

Before you decide to meet up with your ex, ask them what they would like to talk about so you have an idea of what you’re heading into.

If your ex is elusive and says they’ll only tell you when they see you, it might be a ploy to get you back. Honesty is important in all relationships, and now that you’re broken up, they have no right to withhold why they want to meet up with you.

In some cases, you might want to go because you want closure and feel like you didn’t get to fully express yourself when the relationship ended. Trust your gut and make the decision that feels best for you.

10) They make sure you know they’re still single

When your ex misses you and wants to get you back, they will constantly let you know that they’re still single. These could be subtle gestures like posting memes on their social media about the single life or in-your-face actions like messaging you to let you know they are single and asking about your relationship status.

If this happens and you’re also still single, you may be swayed to connect with them again. As humans, most of us are afraid of change, and if given the opportunity, we will fall back into what’s familiar.

But it’s important that you don’t. The two of you broke up for a reason, and until those issues are resolved on a couple and personal level, it’s best you don’t start a new or old relationship.

While being in a relationship might create short-term happiness, actively working on your issues will bring you and your future partner long-term bliss.

11) Quick responses to your messages

Another sign that your ex misses you is they respond to your messages immediately.

People rarely talk to their exes, so if your ex is always trying to keep the conversation going by responding to your texts as soon as you send them, then they definitely want to get you back.

The reason for them replying so quickly is that they miss talking to you, and they know you’ll likely still be online, so they can have a full conversation instead of random messages at odd times.

Something else to look out for is if they reply with questions. Many people do this to ensure you have to text back.

If texting with your ex is something you’re okay with, then this shouldn’t be a problem, but if you feel like they are suffocating you and you need space to deal with things, then you can mute the messages and just ignore them. If they are reasonable, you can just tell them that you feel weird and don’t want to chat.

12) Call you when they have had a few drinks

This is one of the most common signs that an ex is missing you—they drunk call you.

Many people admit that consuming alcohol makes it easier for them to express their deepest feelings.

When your ex is drunk, you may receive calls or messages letting you know that they miss you and wish you were still together.

You can interpret this sign however you like, but before getting your hopes up about anything, remember that when people pass a certain point of intoxication, they rarely remember what they’re doing.

So, if your ex says something to you while in this state, they might not remember it the next day or even feel that way anymore.

In fact, in some cases, it might be best to not listen to any messages or pick up calls from a drunk ex.

13) Comment that you look beautiful

This sign was touched on in the previous section but is so important that it deserves its own heading.

Your ex actively commenting on your Instagram or Facebook posts that you look beautiful is a surefire sign that they miss you.

But is it a good or bad thing?

It depends on the reason for your breakup and the length of your relationship.

If the relationship ended because your partner cheated on you, ignored you, made you feel unworthy, or caused you to feel unloved in any way, then them commenting that you’re beautiful should in no way make you go back to the relationship.

Most people have ulterior motives when it comes to their actions, and them commenting on something sweet doesn’t mean they care about you again. It’s just them wanting you back now they don’t have you because they’d rather you be with them than be happy.

If your ex was someone who always commented on all your posts before and hasn’t stopped even now that you’re broken up means they don’t adapt to change well. It’s difficult for their brain to process that you aren’t together or stop all the things they did when you were together.

In this case, you should do nothing about the situation. Eventually, they will stop and move on from the relationship, and by ignoring them, you make it easier for them to do that.

In instances where your relationship ended on a good note from both sides, then them commenting that you’re beautiful shouldn’t be an issue, and you can decide how you’d like to proceed with that situation.

14) Like your posts and old posts on social media

If your ex likes or comments on any of your current or past social media posts, then it means they’re actively looking at your profiles and are missing what they had with you.

They are also trying to get your attention and want to see if you will reach out to them. It’s their way of making sure you think about them.

This can be seen as a manipulation tactic, so it’s important to be careful with these types of individuals.

If your ex is only reacting to your posts but not sparking conversation in any way, then there’s no need to start one with them.

Even if you’re also missing this person and feel like them like a post of yours is a sign that you should reach out—don’t!

When someone has given you no indication that they have changed in any way, it’s best to leave them be. You obviously broke up for a reason, and if they haven’t changed, then the issue will come up again if you try to start a relationship.

If you didn’t have a bad breakup, or you feel like it was your fault that everything ended, and your ex likes your post, then it may be appropriate to reach out first.

You know that they miss you, and you want to apologize for the way things ended, so speaking to them will do no harm to either partner.

Lyndol Lyons

The business of life is the acquisition of memories. In the end, that's all there is. Writer, spiritualist, mom. Tolerant of people, but prefer animals. Owner of 346 cats in a previous life.

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