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10 signs your ex is warming up to you (and wants to rekindle the flame)

Has your ex been acting suspicious lately, like they might want to get back together with you?

There are a few things that indicate someone is trying to get closer to you again. If you’re curious whether your ex might want to rekindle the flame, keep reading!

10 signs they want to be with you again:

1) They keep the contact regular

The first sign that your ex is reconsidering the break-up is when all of a sudden, the contact between you two goes from once in a blue moon to regularly.

The reason this is a sign of them having second thoughts about ending things is that they are suddenly willing to have you in their daily life again.

People who want to move on generally don’t engage in regular contact, as they are trying to forget about you.

Of course, they might be interested in just being friends, so don’t get your hopes up too soon, but either way, it definitely beats not talking at all!

2) They are the ones initiating the contact

Tying in with the previous point, an important indicator of your ex wanting to be with you again, is them being the ones initiating contact.

Of course, the two of you could regularly be talking, but if it’s always you reaching out to them and hitting them up, this doesn’t say too much about your ex’s feelings, sorry.

They might just be trying to be kind and not ignore you.

If, on the other hand, it is your ex that is reaching out and initiating the contact, it’s a different story.

That means you’re on their mind and they want to actively be in contact with you.

As we already mentioned, someone trying to move on usually doesn’t reach out to their ex, so there is definitely something on their minds.

This doesn’t mean you should never reach out to them yourself, of course. All I’m saying is pay attention to whether or not they are the ones initiating from time to time, as well.

3) They ask questions about your relationship status

This can be a big giveaway. Is your ex periodically asking you if you’re still single?

This type of interest in your dating life can be an indicator of them making sure you are still available.

Take this with a grain of salt, however.

If you are talking to your ex for the first time in a while and at some point in the conversation they happen to ask about your relationship status, it’s not an immediate sign of them wanting you back.

It could merely be genuine interest. Usually, you will be able to tell the difference, however.

If your ex is still single themselves, the chances of them asking because a part of them still wants you is exponentially higher!

And if they keep asking alongside showing other signs in this article, it can mean they want you back!

4) They tease and flirt

When you are talking to your ex-partner or hanging out with them, how is the conversation?

Are they teasing and/or flirting with you?

This one also depends on context. If your ex has always been a tease and never stopped acting like that even right after breaking up, them being flirty might not mean a lot.

If things were kind of tense and serious after the break-up, though, them flirting with you out of the blue can indicate a change of heart.

Of course, it is important to find out whether the only thing on their mind is sex, or if they are actually considering getting back into a relationship with you!

To find out what it is that they have in mind, it will probably take a little more time and an honest conversation.

5) They are open to physical touch

Granted the two of you are physically hanging out and not just texting, the way they act in relation to physical touch can give away what they are thinking.

Usually, the amount of physical contact two people share suggests the level of comfort they have with each other.

How is your ex acting when the two of you are together? Are they yearning for physical touch and can’t keep their hands off of you?

As with a few of these signs, this, unfortunately, doesn’t immediately equate to second thoughts about the break-up or wanting to reconcile.

It could just be a spurt of physical attraction. Having sex with the ex can be very tempting, after all.

In this case, listen to your body and what you want in that situation. Most importantly, don’t sleep with them solely in hopes of making them fall back in love with you.

If that is what you have in mind, talk to them about it, otherwise, you might get hurt when you realize all they wanted was a quick hookup.

6) They talk about their emotions with you

One of the biggest signs of your ex wanting to rekindle the flame with you is the depth and emotion of your conversations.

Being able to open up about all kinds of emotions in their life (not necessarily concerning you) is a sign of trust and emotional connection – the foundation of any relationship.

Does your ex talk to you about the frustrations, joys, stress, and confusion in their life?

Again, these emotions don’t need to have anything to do with you or your relationship, the mere fact that they are letting you in means that they feel safe expressing themselves around you.

This feeling of safety is the basis of a second chance at the relationship.

7) They don’t push you away

When your ex is not actively trying to push you away, and instead, is doing quite the opposite, they might be reevaluating their decision of ending the relationship.

Pushing you away could be the obvious ghosting or not talking, but it could also be disguised as a friendly “any person would be lucky to have you in their life”, “I want us to be friends”, or “I wish the best for you”.

Even if he ghosted you early on, he might be regretting it now.

Although seemingly positive at first sight, these phrases don’t indicate your ex wanting to get back into a relationship with you.

Instead, they are trying to remain on good terms with you while getting ready to move on.

Sure, this is not always the case, and sometimes people say these things right after a break-up and change their minds further down the line, but more often than not, this means they want to close this chapter of their life.

Signs of them not pushing you away would be actively staying in contact with you and being interested in your life.

8) They tell you they miss you

If you wanted a telltale sign of your ex wanting you back, this one is probably the most obvious one of them all. Your ex tells you they miss you.

People who are over a relationship and have moved on don’t usually say stuff like that.

Your ex saying things like they miss hanging out with you, or they miss the way things were means that they do not feel negative about the failed relationship.

This does not only entail the literal words “I miss you”, by the way.

Your ex might be showing you they miss you by reminiscing on memories they’re fond of, or feeling nostalgic and expressing that nostalgia to you.

More often than not, this follows the “show don’t tell” rule, where you will have to read between the lines a bit to get to the bottom of their intentions.

If they truly miss the way things were, there is a good chance of the two of you getting back together.

9) They call you when they’re drunk

Alcohol gives us the courage to do what we are too afraid of doing sober.

If your ex calls you when they are drunk, it means you are still deeply rooted in their subconscious mind.

When drunk, you usually only call the people you deeply care about, right?

Well, it’s no different with your ex.

Them calling you drunk, even if they don’t pour out their heart to you but just want to chat, can be a big indicator that deep down, they are still in love with you.

There’s a good chance that you can get back together, but for that to happen, eventually, these feelings will have to be talked about (preferably sober).

10) They talk about a future with you in it

Last but not least, the way your ex talks about the future can suggest a lot about whether or not the two of you still have a chance.

Are they mentioning things that indicate that you’ll still be in their life in the future?

This doesn’t have to be them talking about you as a couple in the future, but if they say something like: “Yeah, the next Olympic Games we’ll definitely stay up and watch the Boxing match till the end instead of falling asleep”, they think of you being in their life 4 years down the line in one way or another.

Again, this doesn’t mean they necessarily think about being a couple (yet), but they aren’t planning on cutting you out of their life, either.

This opens the opportunity to rekindle the flame further down the line and turn the friendship back into a relationship.

Many of these signs are there, what now?

If you’ve recognized your ex in at least a few of these signs, chances of them still liking you are definitely there.

Don’t get your hopes up too quickly, though. Until you actually sit down with them and have a clear conversation about getting back together, all of these signs are just that, signs.

It’s no guarantee that your ex will follow through with their feelings and get back together, or if they just want to stay friends.

What can you do in the meantime?

Instead of waiting around for your ex to decide they want to get back together, take this time to focus on yourself!

Not only will you make yourself a more attractive prospect (anyone is more attractive when they are focused on their own goals and dreams), but it will also make you more independent.

Falling in love with yourself and your life will never be wasted time.

If your ex wants you back, great! That’s just a bonus, then. And if not, you are still good and will find someone who loves you and compliments your life in the best ways.

To do that, take some time and reflect on what it is YOU want out of your life. What are your goals?

These could be personal goals, financial goals, career goals,…

Make a list of what you want to achieve and then take steps towards that vision.

Apart from working on your goals, make sure that you take care of yourself, too.

Take care of yourself physically, by leading a healthier lifestyle, mentally, by working through things that bother you, and spiritually by connecting to your inner self, or whatever it is you believe in.

A few things you can try to combine all three of those are:

  • Meditation
  • Exercise
  • Journaling
  • Reading about things that interest you
  • Extra time in nature
  • Lots of water and nutritious food
  • Plenty of sleep

…and these are just a few ideas!

To fall back in love with your life, seek out things you are passionate about! This could mean nurturing the hobbies you already have, or exposing yourself to new experiences!

Having something other than your relationship to focus on is not only helpful in the separation period but will ultimately make any future relationship of yours stronger and healthier.

My ex wants to get back together, what now?

If you had the talk, and the two of you decided that you want to try again, there are a few things to keep in mind.

There is a reason the relationship failed the first time, and if neither one of you has changed anything or worked on yourselves, the result will most likely be the same.

To make the relationship work, you have to figure out solutions to the issues that brought it to a downfall the first time around.

Ignoring the past and simply relying on the sexual tension and attraction between you two will not work, trust me.

Eventually, this infatuation fades and if there is no strong foundation, the relationship will fail again.

If there were deeply-rooted issues, you could consider therapy or work with a coach.

The most important thing to ask yourself before getting back together is:

Do you really want to be in a relationship with this person, or are you just lonely and sad about the break-up?

I know, it’s a harsh thing to say, but more often than not, there is a chance your ex-partner doesn’t even make you that happy, you just miss having someone around.

If that’s the case, please don’t settle for less. There is someone out there who will make you happier than you’ve ever been if you let them.

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Written by Anna Scheucher

Freelance writer specializing in holistic health, wellness, and psychology. Check out my blog to find out more https://www.fullyholistic.com/!

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