Do you suspect your ex is doing some attention-seeking online?
We’ve never been more connected. And so it’s common for exes to still follow each other on social media.
Here are the big giveaways that your ex wants you to notice them:
10 signs your ex is trying to get your attention on social media
1) They become way more active than usual
Their social media use seems to have skyrocketed since you split.
Maybe they hardly ever posted and now they’re sharing every little detail of their day-to-day life.
There’s either a really noticeable change in the frequency of their social media use or It simply doesn’t fit in with their personality type for them to be posting so much.
I can always guess when someone is going through a breakup for this reason. When all of a sudden they are posting non-stop.
It’s often subconscious. They are feeling insecure and looking for comfort.
It can be a way of trying to prove to you that they still have a busy and full life without you. They want you to see that they’re doing just fine.
They are likely to be feeling needier and looking for validation and attention after the split. And social media feels like a convenient way to fill that void.
Generally, the more insecure someone feels the more they lean on social media to try to fill the void left.
2) They unfollow you and follow you again (or block and unblock)
Following and unfollowing or blocking and unblocking is erratic behavior.
Unfollowing an ex isn’t so strange after you split. It’s normal to want some distance to get your head together and move on with your life.
But it’s strange to suddenly backtrack and then start to follow you again.
It suggests that they weren’t unfollowing you for healthy reasons. They were doing it to make a point.
In this way, it becomes a passive-aggressive move that seeks to punish or hurt you in some way.
Rather than genuinely want you out of their lives, they wanted to send a “f**k you”. The problem is that they couldn’t see it through.
They were too curious about what you’re up to. And so this empty threat becomes far more of an attention-seeking exercise that shows that their feelings for you are far from neutral.
3) They still watch all of your stories
Let’s face it, still watching all of your ex’s stories on social media is just a bit weird.
I mean, they know that you can tell that they have seen it. You’d think that their pride would stop them from doing it.
It’s doubly weird if they no longer follow you, but still go onto your social media specifically to watch your stories. (I know plenty of people who this has happened to).
It’s not uncommon for exes to want to keep tabs on you and find out what you are doing.
But if they’re not being more discreet about it, it could be that they don’t care if you notice.
Why? because that’s actually what they want.
4) They randomly like old posts
Did your ex suddenly like an old post or picture on your social media?
Clearly, someone is home alone and feeling nostalgic.
There’s nothing inconspicuous about going through ancient posts on an ex’s page.
It’s a glaring flashing neon light sign that says ‘I’m thinking about the good old days’. And an obvious signal that they haven’t moved on.
If your ex comments on old photos, they’re clearly trying to draw you back down memory lane too.
It’s an attention-seeking attempt to try to remind you of happier times.
5) They share status updates directed at you
They may not mention you by name, but it is so very clearly directed at you.
I’m talking about those less-than-cryptic status updates where someone rants about betrayal, heartbreak, healing, and learning lessons for the future.
They are obviously airing your dirty laundry, and you know it.
Its captions like: “Time for a fresh start. Out with the old and in with the new”
Or “Ready to rise from the ashes. Diamonds were made under pressure.”
They’re sending you some sort of indirect message through a public forum, knowing (or hoping) you will see it.
6) They post things to try to make you jealous
They want to leave you with zero doubt that now they are single they are enjoying every opportunity that comes their way.
They may explicitly talk about their dating life. They may splash pictures of a new rebound romance all over their social media.
They may be photographed with new good-looking people who you don’t know, in order to plant seeds of doubt in your mind about who they are.
They might try to infer that they are getting plenty of action.
This is all done to try to make you feel insecure and jealous. It’s a subtle form of revenge.
But rather than have the intended effect of proving to you that they’ve moved on, their need to splash their love life all over the internet suggests the exact opposite.
7) They share really old photos or memories of you two
I’ve personally seen a couple of people do this on social media. And it was so obviously a desperate attempt to get their ex’s attention.
Once a guy posted a picture of him and his ex-girlfriend, and I saw she had even commented on it saying:
“Why are you posting this? It’s really old and it totally gives the wrong impression to people”
Ouch! That told him.
There’s no real way to innocently share memories of when you too were together on your social media. That’s why it’s always a guaranteed attention-seeking exercise of an ex who can’t let go.
8) They share quotes clearly about your relationship
They post quotes like this:
“Love doesn’t hurt you. A person that doesn’t know how to love hurts you. Don’t get it twisted.” — Tony Gaskins
“Forget the ones that forget you” — Wiz Khalifa
“Loving someone doesn’t make them deserve you” — r.h. sin
It may be just a picture or a meme quote. Or it may also be accompanied by a short statement like “so true” or “THIS”.
Either way, it’s a melodramatic nod your way. It’s a clear signal that they’re still thinking about you.
9) They try to show off how great their life is
They post pictures of themselves doing fun activities, traveling, partying, etc.
They’re trying to say: Look what I’m up to now. Look how much better my life has become since we broke up.
It definitely feels like they’re showing off. Every day brings a new, not so humble, brag.
Whether it’s going on vacation somewhere, buying something expensive, having a big party, or even just working out at the gym.
The message seems to be loud and clear — look what you’re missing out on.
10) They pointlessly DM you
They’ve not really got anything to say but they’re still dropping into your DM’s.
Maybe they share funny memes with you. Maybe they come up with an excuse to reach out, like: “I watched your favorite movie last night, how’s things?”
Or they may be trying to casually engage you in a conversation by responding to your stories in the hope of getting you chatting.
But it all comes across as forced and not natural.
What to do when your ex is trying to get your attention on social media?
1) Figure out if you want to get back together
Let’s start with the basics. How do you actually feel about your ex?
Is this attention unwanted or music to your ears?
If you are still harboring feelings for your ex and want them back then it’s time to cut to the chase and create a plan to reconcile. Why waste time playing games?
If you do fall into the camp of wanting an ex back, the best thing to do is check out this free video from relationship expert Brad Browning.
Rather than continue to dance around things with one another, he’ll share practical and effective techniques to get your ex properly back in your life.
You can click here to watch his free video with all the tips you need to get back with your ex.
2) Protect yourself from their attention-seeking by doing this…
Let’s say you don’t want to get back with your ex, and their attention-seeking is actually starting to trigger you.
What can you do?
Depending on the level of irritation it causes you, your best options are:
- Ignore it. If you can see through your ex’s actions without letting it get to you, this can be the best option. They’re doing it specifically to get your attention. So when they see that you’re not reacting, most likely they’ll eventually give up.
- Unfollow them so you don’t have to see it. If it starts to wind you up, you can do some damage control simply by unfollowing your ex from social media and removing them from yours. It can be healthier to put some distance between you two until feelings have healed.
- Block them. As a last resort, you might decide to block your ex. I wouldn’t recommend rushing into this as a knee-jerk decision. But certainly, if your ex’s attention-seeking becomes extreme or too much for you, it’s always an option to remove them completely from your life.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.
If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.
In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.
I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.