17 definite signs your ex is ready to get back together (ultimate guide)

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Getting back with your ex is not a decision you should make lightly. It’s paramount for the both of you to be on the same page about a reunion should you go for it.

Do they seem sincere in their desire to make it work this time? Have the both of you grown and matured in your time apart?

Look out for these 17 signs that show your ex is ready to get back together with you.

17 signs they’re prepared for a reunion

1) They still talk to you often

A text or two isn’t necessarily out of the ordinary. Maybe they just wanted to check up on you to see if you’re okay. It’s normal, especially if you split without bad blood.

It’s completely different if they contact you regularly though. If they text whenever something reminds them of you or if they seem to want to have regular conversations, then they’re definitely thinking about you constantly.

This is a good sign that they still have interest—or feelings—for you.

Not always necessarily so though. It can also be the case that they’re just returning to something familiar, even if it’s detrimental to them moving on. Still, be on your toes if they talk to you often.

2) Their replies are quick and enthusiastic

In line with the point above, you can also check how they reply. You can be even more sure that they want you back if their replies are typically quick and enthusiastic.

Does it not remind you of how people usually text when flirting with someone they like?

It’s the same thing: this means that they still have the hots for you, they surely want you back!

3) They don’t have your number blocked

If you’ve been texting, then they haven’t blocked your number. Or they unblocked it after having it blocked since your breakup.

It’s not unusual for exes to block each other’s numbers as a way to help themselves move on from one another.

However, if your number hasn’t been blocked, then this means that they are leaving the door open for a potential reunion.

They haven’t completely moved on yet—if at all—and still have some feelings for you.

4) The breakup was unintentional

Relationships are infinitely complicated things. It’s possible that you and your ex-partner did not actually mean to break up.

Perhaps you were both caught up in intense emotions after a particularly heated argument. Out of the hurt, anger, and resentment, the two of you then compulsively left each other.

We often say things we don’t actually mean or do things we wouldn’t do with a clear mind whenever we’re overwhelmed with emotions. It can even include something as drastic as a breakup.

If things ended in such a fashion, then it’s likely you still have feelings for each other—and want each other back deep inside.

5) Your ex wants updates about your life

If they’re constantly contacting you, it’s also important to note what they often talk about. If they’re often about mundane things like current news, it might not mean much.

However, if they’re often talking about their life—or, even worse, they’re asking about yours—especially in a personal way, then it’s almost certain that they have ulterior motives.

One could say that they’re already talking to you as if you were still a couple.

What does it mean for you?

More often than not, they’re likely trying to subtly rebuild the connection, familiarity, and intimacy that you once had.

6) They’re trying to make you jealous

Speaking of your dating lives, if your ex is completely over you, they won’t bat an eye if you mention that you’re trying to find someone new.

In fact, they might even be happy for you if you’ve remained friendly with them.

But if you sense some jealousy from them—such as trying to tell you that who you’re currently seeing is not good for you—then you know they have something else in mind.

They’re trying to redirect your attention away from your dates and back towards them.

Here are a few common ways ex-partners try to incite jealousy in each other:

  • Tell you about their dates on social media (and imply that they’re better than you);
  • Post about their improved appearance on social media;
  • Aggressively posting about being a happy single;
  • Telling you about their new, better-paying job.

Essentially, they want to make you regret leaving them, leading you to consider getting them back.

Even though this is a sign they want you back, it’s also a sign of their poor maturity level. Petty games like this should never be involved in a healthy relationship.

7) Other people don’t know about your breakup

Try to find out what your ex has been telling his friends and family about you. There’s a chance that they haven’t announced your breakup to their loved ones yet.

Perhaps they simply don’t want to because they’re a private person, but it can also be a sign that they’re still hoping for a reunion (so they don’t need to announce anything).

They likely think that there’s still a chance of improving your past relationship and dealing with unresolved issues that led to your breakup in the first place.

In other words…

They’re still in denial to both themselves and their friends and family that your relationship ended. It’s not legitimate in their eyes because they believe you still belong with them.

8) Remaining in touch with your friends and family

Speaking about friends and family, they might be putting in the effort to stay friends with your family.

On the other hand…

There’s a chance that he became friends with your friends and family outside your relationship, and if so, there’s maybe not much to worry about.

However…

If they don’t have a legitimate reason to stay in touch with your loved ones, then they’re essentially trying to hold on to their place in your world.

They’re using your friends and family to get back closer to you.

9) They’re not dating anyone seriously

While it can mean that they’re simply enjoying being single before they dive back into the dating world, it can also mean that they’re still hoping for a reunion with you.

They might be dating people, but they’re not doing so seriously.

As we said above, they might simply be using these supposed dates as a way to make you jealous.

10) Your belongings are still with them

This is especially the case if you two used to live together. But even if you didn’t co-habituate, it’s common for a couple to keep things from each other.

Classic examples are clothes, toiletries at their place, or prized possessions.

If they’re not letting go of your things yet then it means they haven’t been able to let go of you as well.

11) They will go out of their way to help you

Regardless if you parted amicably or bitterly, take note of how willing they are to help you.

If they regularly rush to your side whenever you need help, then it’s a sign that they still have a lot of concern—and feelings—for you. 

And by helping you a lot, they’re also trying to reignite your feelings for them too.

12) They still haven’t forgotten important dates

Whenever an important day comes around such as…

  • Your birthday or your loved ones’ birthdays
  • Christmas
  • Your past anniversary
  • Valentine’s Day

…do they still greet you with a lot of energy?

Bonus points if they even write you up a little letter to go along with the greeting.

Why will they do it if you two are not together anymore?

In simple words, they’re doing this to constantly remind you of their presence.

They want to remain in your personal life in some way or another and are trying to remain amicable with you to hopefully get back with you someday.

13) Nostalgia hits them often

If they’re talking with you regularly, do they always reminisce about the past?

Do they laugh and smile when talking about the good memories?

Do they express regret and imagine what could’ve been when talking about the bad ones?

Although they may be just really fond of your past relationship, they might also be trying to instill this nostalgia in you too as an attempt to rekindle your past emotions for them.

14) They want to talk about the breakup

Watch out if your ex is asking you for a proper, serious conversation about your past relationship and your breakup.

If they want to discuss in detail how the relationship was and how it eventually failed, then they’re definitely not over the breakup yet.

Perhaps they just want a proper closure so they can move on completely, but it’s also very possible that they’ll try to convince you to give the relationship another shot.

If so, they will most likely apologize for their past mistakes, tell you that they’re better now, and tell you they still have feelings for you.

Your relationship will either finally end for good or restart after this conversation.

15) You’re still a source of emotional support for them

Whenever things get rough for them, do they still reach out to you for support and comfort?

If they do, then this is a strong sign that they still love you and want you back. The fact that they still feel comfortable being vulnerable to you definitely means that they have not moved on yet.

By doing so, they’re likely also hoping that you’ll also return to being vulnerable with them again too. It’s a crucial step towards rebuilding the emotional connection you once shared.

16) They ask you for help

Just as they’re willing to help you whenever you need it, they also reach out to you for help. Again, it’s a way for them to re-establish that connection.

Although it’s entirely possible that they just simply need help and have no one else to ask for assistance at that very moment, be on the lookout for the things they ask you to help with.

They just might be using it as an excuse to see you and talk to you. If they ask help for things any functioning adult should be able to do—like, say, screwing in a lightbulb—then, it’s pretty obvious what they truly want.

17) Profuse apologies are incoming

If your ex reaches out to you and explicitly stated they want to properly apologize for the things they’ve done, then this means a lot.

They will likely give you a long talk about how bad they feel for hurting you in the past and will apologize profusely for it.

They might even say that they want to make it up to you by treating you right should you get back together.

Regardless of how sincere they are, this doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a good idea to get back with them.

When is it actually a good idea to get back together?

If you’re considering a reunion, you need to think about it deeply first. More often than not, it’s not a good idea for many, many reasons.

However, the second go at a relationship can also prove to be an amazing opportunity for a truly great romance.

Before pulling the trigger and getting back together, look out for these signs to see if they want to reconnect.

You know how to make him value you

We might think that the relationship will work well if you get back together. But the reality is, that we have to be prepared to face the same challenges we had in the past.

To deal with them, you have to come prepared.

You see, for guys, it’s all about triggering their inner hero.

I learned about this from the hero instinct. Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept is about what really drives men in relationships, which is ingrained in their DNA.

And it’s something most women don’t know anything about.

Once triggered, these drivers make men into the heroes of their own lives. They feel better, love harder, and commit stronger when they find someone who knows how to trigger it.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”? Do guys really need to feel like superheroes to commit to a woman?

Not at all. Forget about Marvel. You won’t need to play the damsel in distress or buy your man a cape.

The easiest thing to do is to check out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12-word text that will trigger his hero instinct right away.

Because that’s the beauty of the hero instinct.

It’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to make him realize that he wants you and only you.

Click here to watch the free video.

You’re both more mature now

The attraction and the emotions might still be there, but the harsh truth is that love alone is never enough for a healthy relationship.

For the two of you to get back together and have a successful relationship this time around, you need to have grown and matured during your time apart.

Before you reunite, you need to have recognized the problems that plagued your relationship in the past.

More importantly, you need to have both the willingness and the wisdom to solve these issues once you’re back together.

If not, your relationship will most likely end because of the same issues again.

You know your triggers and what to do about them

Assuming you already know what the exact problems were in the past, it’s even more important to have a concrete plan of what to do about them once they inevitably resurface.

You should know what triggers negative emotions in both of you.

Then, you should talk about how to best avoid triggering the other person or how to best compromise about these things.

If you don’t do this, the relationship will gradually break down again.

For example, here are common triggers in relationships that eventually lead to breakups:

  • Financial mismanagement;
  • Imbalance of household chores;
  • Disagreement on priorities;
  • Sexual dissatisfaction.

You also need to reflect on your own actions: what are the things you might do that might trigger them?

You need to have a clear, proper solution even before you reenter the relationship. And once you’ve committed to each other again, you need to constantly abide by such plans.

The heartbreak has healed

Before you start another chapter, you need to completely close the last one. More specifically, you need to fully process and get over the past pains of the last relationship.

If you’re not able to, you are bringing resentment into the second round of the relationship. Doing so only predetermines your relationship to fail once again.

Whether it’s infidelity, neglect, selfishness, or pride—whatever it is, both of you need to apologize and forgive each other for past mistakes.

Only then can you start on a clean slate and have a solid foundation for another relationship.

And when you do, make sure you do it right.

This relates back to the unique concept I mentioned earlier: the hero instinct.

When a man feels respected, useful, and needed, he’s more likely to value your relationship and not want to end it.

And the best part is, triggering his hero instinct can be as simple as knowing the right thing to say over a text.

You can learn exactly what to do by watching this simple and genuine video by James Bauer.

You feel giddy and excited to get back together

At the end of the day, you should trust your gut.

No matter how much more knowledgeable and adept you are now about navigating the problems of a relationship, you also need to emotionally crave your ex.

Love alone is not enough, yes, but love is also the very foundation of any relationship.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you still feel butterflies whenever you see them?
  • Are you excited to spend time with them?
  • Are you looking forward to creating new memories with them?
  • Do you want to reenter into a relationship with them specifically or do you just want to feel like being in a relationship in general?

You need to truly want your ex back into your life with every fiber of your being.

Here’s when you definitely shouldn’t get back with your ex

In most cases, it’s not a good idea to get back with them. There’s a reason why you broke up in the first place.

Although we’ve outlined the signs and behaviors that show it might be worth considering, those things are easier said than done.

But if you see these negative signs, in addition to not seeing the positive ones, then you should 100% not reunite with them.

Feeling some déjà vu?

Yes, we said it’s important to retain the initial attraction and attachment you initially felt for them if you’re considering getting back together.

But we told you to listen to your gut too.

If you start feeling some déjà vu, that it’s likely going to be the same thing again regardless of what you’ve told each other, then it’s best to not push through with it.

There was abuse in the past

It’s one thing for your ex to make mistakes.

It’s an entirely different thing for your partner to deliberately abuse you.

No matter how mature they seem now, or how much you’re still attracted to them, intentionally causing pain and suffering to you is never forgivable.

Save yourself the future pain and move on.

You’re actually settling for them

It’s all too common for recently-broken up people to feel incredibly lonely.

Because of this, people often fear that they’ll never find love again.

You need to determine whether your thoughts are caused by a genuine desire to return to your ex or if you’re simply lonely or afraid.

Remember that it’s perfectly normal to feel this way and to grieve the end of a relationship, regardless of how it ended.

Seek professional help first if you’re overwhelmed by emotions. They will help you manage your emotions and this should help you in turn to make a logical decision.

The bottom line

By now you should have a better idea of how to check if your ex wants to get back together and what to do with it.

So the key now is getting through to your man in a way that empowers both him and you.

I mentioned the concept of the hero instinct earlier — by appealing directly to his primal instincts, you won’t only solve this issue, but you’ll take your relationship further than ever before.

And since this free video reveals exactly how to trigger your man’s hero instinct, you could make this change from as early as today.

With James Bauer’s incredible concept, he’ll see you as the only woman for him. So if you’re ready to take that plunge,be sure to check out the video now.

Here’s a link to his excellent free video again.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get $50 off your first session (exclusive offer for Hack Spirit readers).

Pearl Nash

Pearl Nash has years of experience writing relationship articles for single females looking for love. After being single for years with no hope of meeting Mr. Right, she finally managed to get married to the love of her life. Now that she’s settled down and happier than she’s ever been in her life, she's passionate about sharing all the wisdom she's learned over the journey. Pearl is also an accredited astrologer and publishes Hack Spirit's daily horoscope.

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