7 signs your emotional wounds are finally healing

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You’ve got some wounds from painful events in the past.

I feel you — if emotional wounds were real scars, my whole body would be covered in them!

People say “time heals everything,” but personally it took a lot longer than I thought for this to actually happen.

And then one day I realized that I feel very different compared to how I felt a few years earlier. Because those deep wounds I had were finally healing. 

I was able to tell through 7 telling signs — and it’s my greatest wish that you recognize these in yourself as well, because it’s a sign that you’re becoming healed and more whole. 

Let’s take a look at what they are. 

1) You’ve been putting in the work

Okay, this first item isn’t so much a sign as an action — but in my opinion, it’s one of the best indicators.

I had a couple very painful things happen in some relationships, including with friends and coworkers.

I spent a long time thinking that the pain would just go away, or pretending it wasn’t there in the first place.

But I realized that I was walking around carrying a lot of anger and resentment with me, and that it was deeply impacting my daily interactions and life.

So I found a therapist and started working with him regularly to process my trauma.

I’m not going to lie, it was difficult — but after about 9 months, I realized there’s a huge difference in how I feel on a daily basis.

It doesn’t happen overnight, but if you put in the work and effort with the intention to heal, you will definitely see an enormous impact. 

2) You don’t get triggered as often anymore

One of my top goals when I started therapy was to be less triggered by random things.

The way my boyfriend phrased something — my mother’s tone of voice — the way a random dude on the bus looked at me.

Somehow things like this set off a chain of assumptions, memories, and reactions in me and I really struggled to act like my best self. 

This happens to people when something reminds you of a painful past event

I’ve learned that it can also be because this person mirrors something in you that you don’t like — or you make assumptions about how they perceive you, and that affects your self-worth. 

So when you notice you get triggered less, it shows that you have processed your trauma. 

It’s not the first thing that pops into mind as often, and if it is, you’re able to slow down and choose a healthier response. 

3) You feel more confident in yourself

One of the best things about healing my emotional wounds has been the newfound confidence I have in myself.

And let me tell you, I used to be VERY insecure.

I mean, I would even not run to catch the bus because I was worried about people looking at me thinking I’m stupid if I didn’t make it on time. 

So I chose to wait for the next bus instead.

As you can see, this was affecting my daily life, my productivity, and my sense of well-being. 

Now, I can’t say I’m the most confident person on the planet — but I’m miles past where I used to be. 

When someone looks at me strangely, I no longer jump to thoughts like “I’m stupid” — I know my self-worth, and that person could have a million reasons for the face they made that have nothing to do with me.

This has been truly amazing, so I really hope you’ve been experiencing this sign yourself. 

4) You don’t feel angry so often anymore

As I mentioned at the beginning, the reason why I started putting in the work to heal was because of how angry and resentful I constantly felt.

As you can imagine — or perhaps even know from experience — it was not a good way to live.

I knew I had to change something, or I would create a truly miserable life for myself and everyone close to me as well.

So a massive sign that I was making great progress was that I no longer feel so angry all the time.

It’s hard to notice this sign, because it’s the absence of something. And in fact it took me a few months to notice.

But now, I feel so much lighter. It even feels like there’s a physical change in my heart — I’ve heard experts say that emotions do have a physical impact in the body, so this could even very well be true. 

For you, you might be struggling with a different emotion such as grief, or fear. Whatever it is, if you don’t feel it squeezing at you so much anymore, it shows that your emotional wounds are finally healing.

5) You’re able to think about what happened

When you’re deeply hurt by something, you may try to avoid thinking about it at all costs.

Which is 100% understandable. Nobody wants to think about something painful.

And we do need some time with space from the traumatic event until we’re ready to face it.

When you start healing, this changes. You loosen the pain from the event, and eventually it becomes like thinking about elephants — it doesn’t bring up any emotions at all.

Of course, it’s a long way to get there, and it’s normal to still have a dull ache when it pops into mind. 

But you’re able to think about it like another one of your memories, and play it through in your mind to analyze what happened and process your feelings.

I heard a story about this that really struck me — a figure skating couple had an accident where the man’s skate cut into his partner’s face during a spin.

To help them overcome this deeply traumatic event, their therapist had them watch the video so that they could see it more objectively and remove the emotional “shock” factor from the event. 

Naturally, this was a recommendation for their particular case, and you need to take your own circumstances into account.

But one thing is for sure, if you’re able to say the person’s name without cringing, or have whatever it was pop into mind and move on to think about what’s for dinner, you’re definitely healing.

6) Your relationships have improved

Have you noticed your relationships have improved lately?

That’s a great sign that your emotional wounds are finally healing.

I’ve been so happy with the impact my own healing journey has had on my relationships — not just the one with my partner, but also with my friends and colleagues.

I feel much more relaxed around them, as I’m no longer worrying about what they think of me, or trying not to get triggered by random tiny things.

I’ve become much more positive, and I dare say also wiser as I’ve learned a lot from the emotional wounds that I’ve finally processed. 

This is something I’m sure my friends have noticed, even if they haven’t said it outright — and I’ve noticed that they invite me out more often and act more affectionately than before. 

I’m so glad I see this sign, because that means my healing journey has been benefiting not just me, but also the people around me that I love. 

7) You have much better self-awareness

Finally, the last sign that your emotional wounds are healing is that you’ve gained self-awareness.

This is the bread and butter of success in life — being self-aware helps you know your strengths, take ownership for your mistakes, and make the best decisions for yourself.

Obviously, wounds are painful to process, but when you allow yourself to get close to them, they are an amazing opportunity to learn about yourself.

Why did you react a certain way? Why has this event affected you so deeply?

What can it show you about your values, and what lessons can you learn from it for the future?

As I mentioned before, my own trauma comes from painful events in previous relationships. So processing it has helped me define what kind of relationships I want in my life, and set boundaries for what I’m willing to accept from others.

For you it may be something else — but you know yourself a lot better thanks to healing.

Helping your emotional wounds heal

Now you know the 7 signs that your emotional wounds are finally healing.

It’s been a long journey, but I’m sure you’ll agree that it’s SO worth it.

If you want to help yourself heal even more, then first of all, keep doing whatever it is you’re doing — because you’re clearly on the right track.

But also, I can’t stress enough how much getting help from a therapist has helped me. 

Sometimes an outside, professional perspective is the best thing to help us get out of our own head a little, and know that we’re not crazy because someone else understands our point of view, in a safe place.

Whatever it is you choose to do, I wish you the best of luck on your healing journey. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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