How deep is your love?
You may feel like you don’t have that much to give, or you may have had your ability to love tested beyond its limit by past heartbreak.
If you’re like me, you feel like you didn’t get all the love you deserved in the past, and it’s left a feeling of inadequacy about giving love.
But the good news is that many of us have far more love to give than we realize, and our capacity for love is actually far greater than we know.
Here’s how to find out…
1) You care
You genuinely care.
There’s no other way to say it, but the problems of the world and the problems of those around you truly affect you.
You want everyone to win in life, and you feel empathy when you meet folks who are down on their luck.
You aren’t just in it for yourself. This isn’t about showing off or putting the right hashtags on Instagram posts.
2) You give
Generosity is a crucial quality that’s missing in many relationships.
If you are a giving person it bodes well in terms of the love you have to give.
Emotionally you are not needy and you have love and energy to give to others on a daily basis. This is everything from helping out a friend in need to lending a hand to your parents when they need computer assistance.
The caveat here is that you are generous but not self-effacing. You stand up for yourself and care about your own needs as well.
This ties directly into the next point…
3) You’re supportive
You give a kind and supportive word where you can and try to have a beneficial impact on the world around you.
When friends need a shoulder to cry on, you’re there.
You have your boundaries and your own need for time and space, of course, but you love to be there for those around you and be their rock.
4) You’re accepting
You do your best not to judge people and you’re accepting.
You have your limits and your strongly-held beliefs, but you’re open to learning new things and meeting people on their own terms.
You’re able to agree to disagree and to still get along with folks from different walks of life.
You appreciate diversity for real, not just as a slogan.
5) You’re kind
You are a kind person who finds cruelty to human beings (or any living thing) to be repulsive.
You have a natural instinct to protect innocent life and to care about those who are being mistreated.
You’re not trying to show off or prove what a good person you are, in fact you don’t even think of yourself that way. But deep down you have a good heart.
6) You’re patient
You’re patient and able to delay gratification. This may sound basic, but not everyone can.
If you’re currently single or have been for a while, it shows that you’re able to be selective about who you settle down with and commit to.
Far from being commitment-phobic, this actually can also show that you’re patient and able to hold out for something real.
This bodes very well for your capacity to love. You’re not picky, you’re just patient for the chance to give and receive a love that’s truly meaningful to you.
7) You’re forgiving (but not forgetful)
You’re a forgiving person who doesn’t hold grudges and doesn’t go after vendettas.
It’s just not in your blood.
You don’t want to devote your time and energy to getting back at people who did you wrong and you prefer not to dwell on the past and on painful things that others did.
At the same time, you don’t forget and you remember how people treat you and who is trustworthy versus who is not.
As the American poet and activist Maya Angelou put it: “When somebody shows you who they are, believe them.”
8) You’re resilient
You’re tough and you pick yourself back up after a fall.
You don’t play the victim or look for handouts, and you know that life is deeply unfair.
Despite that, you’re not bitter. You really aren’t. You see challenges and setbacks as an opportunity to get stronger and stop making excuses.
Times get tougher, but you get stronger.
Even being alone a lot doesn’t make you fall into bitterness: you learn more about yourself and what you’re looking for in love when you’ve spent those months and years without a partner.
9) You give your all or not at all
You don’t do things halfway. You give it your all or not at all, and that’s just the way you roll.
At work, in your friendships and in the way you move through the world, you either commit or you don’t.
You don’t dip one toe in the water or hedge your bets.
You make a decision to either go for it or not, something which shows that you also have a strong capacity to love and to decide fully whether to commit or not.
10) You celebrate others
You celebrate the achievements of others and are genuinely happy when your friends and colleagues succeed.
You want what’s best for others and don’t focus on envy or a feeling of lack.
This capacity to cheer on other folks and celebrate their victories is deep inside you and comes to you naturally.
You have the feeling that the more others achieve their dreams the more you will as well. This sense of solidarity is vitally important in relationships and greatly appreciated by any partner.
11) You’re eager to learn
You have an open mind and are eager to learn.
You not only love to find out new information and expand your mind, you also like to learn about the experiences and emotions of others.
You don’t find it boring to sit on the bus and have an old man tell you advice about life:
Even if it’s a little schmaltzy, the depth of experience that comes from many years fills you with an innate respect. You want to listen, and it’s an instinct you would bring to a relationship, too.
12) You’re generally positive
We can’t all be positive all the time, and “toxic positivity” can actually be quite damaging.
But a bright smile and a can-do attitude still go a long way, and you do your best.
You want to be a positive force in somebody’s life, a net asset. You have a lot to give, and deep inside you know it.
The love inside you isn’t just in your imagination, it’s very much real and just waiting for the right person to tap into it.
Lost Your Sense of Purpose?
In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.
Jeanette Brown created this free values discovery PDF to help clarify your deepest motivations and beliefs. As an experienced life coach and self-improvement teacher, Jeanette guides people through major transitions by realigning them with their principles.
Her uniquely insightful values exercises will illuminate what inspires you, what you stand for, and how you aim to operate. This serves as a refreshing filter to tune out societal noise so you can make choices rooted in what matters most to you.
With your values clearly anchored, you’ll gain direction, motivation and the compass to navigate decisions from your best self – rather than fleeting emotion or outside influences.
Stop drifting without purpose. Rediscover what makes you come alive with Jeanette Brown’s values clarity guide.