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13 definite signs the breakup is temporary (and how to get them back faster!)

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While a breakup can be hard to digest, it doesn’t always have to be permanent. It could be healthy to take breaks to help understand how much the relationship means to both of you.

When you have invested a considerable amount of time and emotion into a person, it is likely that the special bond you share with them could last forever and the breakup is really just a break.

Here are 13 signs that they probably will be back with you:

1. You Both Are Still Talking

If they haven’t blocked you on social media and still have your number on speed dial on their phone, it may be a sign that they aren’t quite ready to cut you out of their life.

Do you both still follow each other and hit each other up at random times during the day?

Do you find yourself still talking with each other on a consistent basis?

These are signs that there is hope for getting back together and reconciliation.

The best course of action you can follow in these situations is to keep lines of communication open and frequently reach out to meet them.

Bringing up happy moments from your relationship in the conversation could also be helpful in rebuilding that bridge.

2. They Respond Quickly to Your Calls and Texts

You can tell how much a person loves and values you based on the time it takes them to reply to your texts or calls.

It’s a clear sign that they still prioritize you if they reply almost spontaneously when you hit them up.

If the feelings they have for you’re still there then it’s also likely that they will be excited to see your name pop up on their screen.

By choosing to prioritize you even after the breakup, it’s clear that you’re still an important part of their life and that could be a sign that the breakup is only temporary.

3. Your Relationship Feels Normal and Relatively Unchanged

A breakup isn’t a switch that can turn off feelings completely.

Chances are that there is still a good amount of emotional attachment lingering in their hearts even after the breakup.

This emotional attachment could manifest itself in the form of insecurity that causes the relationship between the two of you to feel normal.

They may act as if nothing happened and your routine seems relatively unchanged despite the breakup.

For example, you may meet at the same spots, still rush to share every major news with each other, and include you in their life plans.

This implies that they aren’t ready to let go and are most likely hoping to get back together as well.

4. You Have a Mutual Desire to Spend More Time Together

This is an obvious one; if they love you then they will definitely want to spend more time with you.

Even if the both of you broke up, and you still long for each other’s company, then it is clear that the breakup is only temporary.

You may find them making plans to go out to the movies or study together. You may even get mixed signals from their end.

All of these may point to the fact that the connection between the two of you hasn’t died out and you both cherish the time you get to spend with each other.

Those factors could be the secret to getting back together.

5. You Keep Bumping Into Each Other (Too Many to Be Coincidental)

Do you find yourself awkwardly running into each other throughout the week?

If the answer is yes, then there may be hope for the relationship yet.

It is obvious that both of you miss each other and want to see each other.

If they’re “accidentally” calling you or bumping into you at your favorite hang-out spots, then they might be trying to salvage the relationship by spending time with each other.

You could even reciprocate this by finding out where they’re meeting them by “accident”.

6. Being “Friends” Is Difficult for Both of You

It’s quite common for people to remain friends after a breakup.

However, it is painful and extremely difficult to view someone you love and have feelings for as a friend.

They may claim to want to be friends but you may notice that they’re uncomfortable with being called a friend or may even notice their behavior towards you change.

This could be a sign that they want to remain in contact with you but aren’t sure how to express their feelings for you.

If you subtly hint that you don’t like being just friends either at the right time, then you may open the door to getting back together.

7. They Act Like It Doesn’t Bother Them

You may find that their demeanor and mannerisms have completely changed when they’re around you.

They may be struggling to come to terms with their feelings about you that are still there and may play it off as if it doesn’t bother them.

They may do this because they’re afraid of being vulnerable or showing signs of weakness in front of you.

The mask of indifference to the breakup is a clear sign that it matters a lot to them and deep down they may not want the breakup.

If you’re able to get through their walls and show that you still care, they may want to work on getting back with you.

8. Your Ex Tries to Flirt or Impress You

A classic sign that a breakup is temporary is if they come out of nowhere and try to impress you.

They may bring lunch for you, buy tickets to go out to the movies with you, or make elaborate efforts to get your attention.

The reason why they do this may be to give you a hint that they aren’t truly done with the relationship.

They may even try to flirt with you to hint at getting back together.

Another common thing that your partner may do after a breakup which they consider temporary is to do things that will make you happy.

They still can’t help but laugh at your jokes and your smile still brings them happiness.

If they go out of their way to make you happy and cheer you up after a long day, then it is obvious that they want to restart the relationship.

9. Your Ex Tries to Make You Jealous

Jealousy is a clear sign that there is still a lot of emotional investment left in the relationship.

If they still have feelings for you then they will become jealous when you talk about dating others.

They may even try to make you jealous by mentioning other people they’re interested in just to get a rise out of you.

If they see your reaction, then they will know that they matter to you just as much.

By focusing on yourself without showing all your cards, you can get them to show some of their hand as well.

Ultimately, if the both of you still care enough to get jealous, then there’s a fat chance that the breakup is temporary.

10. Both of You Are Still Sharing Old Pictures of You Two Together

If your ex triggers a fond memory by sending you an old photo of the two of you together, they may still be interested in being with you.

Your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend could be posting images or sharing songs on social media that remind you of the good old days.

They may also talk at great lengths about the happy days when the two of you were together in an attempt to show that there’s no need to break up since things may return to normal; if the both of you only tried hard enough.

11. They’re Checking on You Through Mutual Friends or Family

Apart from being there when you need them, they will also be checking in on you through mutual friends if they’re still thinking about getting back together.

You may find that they still keep in touch with all your friends and family members.

This is a clear indication that the bond between the two of you is special and isn’t easily severed.

They may also be trying to show you that the people in your life are important to them to hint that the breakup may not be permanent.

12. They Still Care For You When You Need It

They will drop everything and rush to your aid if you’re in distress. They’ll look after you and make certain you’re okay. This indicates that they genuinely care about you and want you to be happy and safe.

Another sign is that they’re always willing to assist you and answer your phone calls and texts. They value you as a significant part of your life if they prioritize you even after a breakup. All of these are tell-tale signs that the breakup could be temporary.

13. They’re Still Single Despite a Long Time Since the Breakup

If they’re very reluctant and seemingly disinterested in getting back into the dating scene even though a long time has passed since the both of you broke up, it may be a sign that they aren’t ready to let go of you.

If they’re still single then chances are, they’re holding out hope that you will reach out and take the first step towards reconciliation.

How to Get Your Ex Back: 4 Important Tips

Okay, so now if you’re convinced your breakup is temporary, and you want your ex back now, what should you do?

Here are some tips to go about it the right way:

1. Reflect on the relationship

If you want to get your ex back, you need to reflect on the relationship you had.

What went right? What went wrong? And most importantly, how can you show your ex that things will be better the second time around?

Because you can’t repeat the same mistakes from your past.

For women, I think it’s essential to take some time to reflect on what really drives men in relationships.

Because men see the world differently to you and are motivated by different things when it comes to love.

Men have a built in desire for something “greater” that goes beyond love or sex. It’s why men who seemingly have the “perfect girlfriend” are still unhappy and find themselves constantly searching for something else —  or worst of all, someone else.

Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel important, and to provide for the woman he cares about.

Relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. He created an excellent free video explaining the concept.

Click here to watch the video.

As James argues, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human behavior and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.

How do you trigger this instinct in him? How do you give him a sense of meaning and purpose?

You don’t need to pretend to be anyone you’re not or play the “damsel in distress”. You don’t have to dilute your strength or independence in any way, shape or form.

2. Talk with them

Let them know how you’re really feeling deep down. Share your feelings with them. Let them know what they mean in your life.

They can either:

A. Tell you they still love you too and they want to get back with you.

B. Tell you they don’t love you anymore and it’s not going to happen.

If it’s the former, then congratulations! You just won your ex back! And importantly, the relationship will probably be different this time around.

But if it’s the latter, still, congratulations! You’re one step closer to finding that someone who will appreciate you for who you are.

Whatever happens, you’re ready for this moment. You are a much stronger person for what you’ve been through.

3. Spend time with others

If your “getting-the-ex-back” mission is still not making any progress, try spending time with other people.

You don’t have to date them. You can, however, spend time with them and let your ex see that.

This might spark a little jealousy in your crush’s system and he or she may end up wanting your attention back for themselves.

Jealousy is a powerful thing; use it to your advantage. But use it wisely.

If you’re feeling a little adventurous, try this “Jealousy” text

— “I think it was a great idea that we decided to start dating other people. I do just want to be friends right now!” —

By saying this, you’re telling your ex that you’re actually dating other people right now… which will in turn make them jealous.

This is a good thing.

You’re communicating to your ex that you’re actually wanted by others. We’re all attracted to people wanted by others. By saying that you’re dating around already, you’re pretty much saying that “it’s your loss!”

After sending this text they’ll begin to feel attraction for you again because of the “fear of loss” I mentioned earlier.

This was a text I learned from Brad Browning, hands down my favorite “get your ex back” online coach.

Here’s a link to his free online video. He gives a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately to get your ex back.

4. Accept the situation

You’ve followed these steps. You’re stronger. And you’re either back with your ex or moving on with your life.

Whatever is happening, it’s super powerful to accept the situation.

Be thankful for this incredible person, no matter what is happening. They have been the impetus for you to grow.

Use this experience to make yourself better and avoid making the same mistakes twice, whether in the relationship or with your new life.

Open another chapter of your life with a stronger heart and a braver soul.

You are a very special, unique and incredible person. Start treating yourself this way.

5. Don’t give too much affection

This is another way to get your ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend) back. By showing your strong side and having clear boundaries, you’re showing your ex a new and stronger side to who you really are.

This is attractive, and it’s going to result in starting to spend more time with your ex.

When this happens, you need to refrain from showing too much affection.

Showing too much affection through long messages, consistent calls, and other clingy gestures would also make you look desperate.

Avoid these things and let your ex make the first move.

I have a question for you…

Do you really want to get back with your ex?

If you answered ‘yes’, then you need a plan of attack to get them back.

Forget the naysayers who warn you never to get back with your ex. Or those who say your only option is to move on with your life. If you still love your ex, then getting them back may be the best way forward.

The simple truth is that getting back with your ex can work.

There are 3 things to you need to do now that you’re broken up:

  1. Work out why you broke up in the first place
  2. Become a better version of yourself so you don’t end up in a broken relationship again.
  3. Formulate a plan of attack to get them back.

If you want some help with number 3 (“the plan”), then Brad Browning’s The Ex Factor is the guide I always recommend. I’ve read the book cover to cover and I believe it’s the most effective guide to getting your ex back currently available.

If you want to learn more about his program, check out this free video by Brad Browning.

Getting your ex to say, “I made a huge mistake”

The Ex Factor isn’t for everyone.

In fact, it’s for a very specific person: a man or a woman who has experienced a break-up and legitimately believes the breakup was a mistake.

This is a book that details a series of psychological, flirting, and (some would say) sneaky steps that a person can take in order to win back their ex.

The Ex Factor has one goal: to help you win back an ex.

If you’ve been broken up with, and you want to take specific steps to make your ex think “hey, that person is actually amazing, and I made a mistake”, then this is the book for you.

That is the crux of this program: getting your ex to say “I made a huge mistake.”

As for numbers 1 and 2, then you’ll have to do some self-reflection on your own about that.

What else do you need to know?

Brad’s Browning’s program is easily the most comprehensive and effective guide to getting your ex back you’ll find online.

As a certified relationship counselor, and with decades of experience working with couples to repair broken relationships, Brad knows what he’s talking about. He offers dozens of unique ideas that I’ve never read anywhere else.

Brad claims that over 90% of all relationships can be salvaged, and while that may sound unreasonably high, I tend to think he’s on the money.

I’ve been in contact with too many Hack Spirit readers who are happily back with their ex to be a skeptic.

Here’s a link to Brad’s free video again. If you want an almost foolproof plan to actually get your ex back, then Brad will give you one.

Can a relationship coach help you too?

If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.

I know this from personal experience…

A few months ago, I reached out to Relationship Hero when I was going through a tough patch in my relationship. After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track.

If you haven’t heard of Relationship Hero before, it’s a site where highly trained relationship coaches help people through complicated and difficult love situations.

In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation.

I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was.

Click here to get started.

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Written by Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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