Paul Brian
Breaking up is hard.
Knowing you’ll never hear from your ex again is even harder.
Even the strongest people struggle immensely with this situation, so I’m going to level with you:
If you’re dealing with this and trying to overcome it, it’s going to hurt badly.
But:
With the help of this guide I will show you a way through the pain to a better and stronger you.
1) They block you everywhere
When an ex blocks you everywhere, it doesn’t always mean they’ll stick to it.
But sometimes it does.
If they’ve hit the block button on every phone number, app, social media platform and location possible, then they clearly don’t want to hear from you again.
If it’s gone to the point of blocking you, then something clearly went very wrong.
And that’s not easily fixed, even with the passage of time.
This is one of the most unfortunate signs you will never hear from your ex again, and that’s the brutal truth straight-up.
2) They physically hide from you
If your ex moves away to a place you can’t find them and literally tries to hide from you, you’re almost definitely not going to be hearing from them again.
The light version of this is changing the locks:
The hardcore version is that he or she moves completely, maybe even to a new state or country.
They don’t want to see you or be seen by you.
They want you completely out of your life and it couldn’t be more crystal clear.
3) They are happily dating someone new
Even the best relationships have cracks under the surface, I fully realize that…
But one of the top signs that your ex won’t be contacting you again is that they’re happily dating someone new.
Not to be too blunt about it, but they just don’t need you anymore.
Here’s the thing:
The feeling of being replaced is brutal, and I know that all too well.
But when it happens, it happens.
And you shouldn’t hold out hope that your ex will contact you again.
4) They deleted every trace of you from their life
Another one of the most unfortunate signs you will never hear from your ex again is that they deleted every trace of you from their life.
Photos? Gone.
The flowers you bought for their front porch? Gone.
The necklace you bought her on your first anniversary? Gone.
The watch you gave him for his birthday? At a musty pawn shop.
When an ex does this there are only two possible reasons:
- They are impulsively erasing you out of feeling hurt and upset and might think better of it later on.
- They are systematically deleting all traces of you like an emotional hitman and will never contact you again for the rest of their life.
5) They cut off contact with all mutual friends and colleagues
Another big red warning sign that you’re never hearing from your ex again is when they cut off all contact with mutual acquaintances.
Even good friends you both shared find themselves now cut off from contact.
Your ex isn’t just breaking up with you, he or she is breaking up with your friends.
You know what:
This is sad.
It’s really sad…
And if it’s happening it’s time to face the harsh truth that your ex won’t be in touch with you ever again if possible.
6) They tell you they will never forgive you
Whatever it was that went wrong in your relationship is your business.
But one of the top unfortunate signs you will never hear from your ex again is that he or she tells you goodbye and says they will never forgive you.
Whether it was cheating, letting you down in your hour of need or something else, this person has told you in no uncertain terms that they are done with you.
It’s brutal, but it couldn’t be clearer:
They want you out of their life for good.
7) Get in touch with a relationship coach
Look, there’s no reason that you should have to deal with this by yourself. I know how painful it is to go through a breakup and on top of that – to have to accept that you’ll never speak to your ex again.
That’s why I strongly recommend that you have a chat with a professional relationship coach.
Relationship Hero is a popular website with dozens of experienced coaches to choose from. And while they usually help people fix the problems in their relationships, they’re also amazing when it comes to helping someone get over their ex and move on with their lives.
The sooner you get in touch with one of their coaches, the sooner you can start the healing process so that you can move on with your life.
Sounds good, right?
8) Your ex’s family shuns you
Another of the most hurtful and unfortunate signs you will never hear from your ex again is that his or her family now shuns you.
It’s not just your ex who’s given you the cold shoulder.
Now their own flesh and blood seems to think you’re the devil too.
If this is happening, let’s be honest:
You no longer have any kind of “in” to reconnect with your ex even if you wanted to.
Even their family hates you! It’s absolutely game over.
9) “It’s not you, it’s me”
Who hasn’t dreaded these words?
They’re the death knell for every relationship and there’s really no coming back from them in almost every case.
If your ex told you this when you broke up, it means they really really don’t like you anymore.
They want to rid themselves of all guilt and shame and be done with you for good.
The reason this one sentence is so deadly is that there’s really no response…
After all:
What are you supposed to reply?
“No, no, it really is me: I’m awful.”
I think not. And even if you do try to the self-pity, confession approach, it only ends in more humiliation and the same break-up.
You can close the chapter on this love story forever.
10) Your ex committed a crime against you
Without getting too Jerry Springer about this, if your ex committed a crime against you, he or she is likely out of the picture for good.
Harassment, rape, assault, stalking, cyber-threats and all the rest can lead to some serious charges.
And if your ex got hit with charges in the course of your relationship, it’s enough to sour them on you for life.
Don’t expect them to come calling again (especially if there’s literally a restraining order against them or you).
11) They gave back all your possessions
Another unfortunate and rock-solid sign your ex is out for good is that they give back all of your possessions.
Whether you lived together or not, they are done with every last item that you ever exchanged or gave them.
As I said, gifts and thoughtful additions to their life are gone.
So are all your clothes, any possessions, even your toothbrush.
If there’s a big garbage bag out on their street the day after you breakup, I’d bet good money your spare toothbrush is in there.
I guess it’s over when it’s over…
5 tips to move on from an ex who’s gone for good
1) Remember the importance of self-care
Here’s the thing: when you’re dealing with the pain of a breakup and the fact that your ex won’t speak to you, it’s important to remember to take care of your physical and mental well-being.
- Make sure you’re getting enough sleep – that means at least 8 hours
- Eat healthyily – that means less sugary and processed foods and more veggies and fruits
- Exercise and spend more time outdoors
- Practice mindfulness meditation and yoga – this will help you focus on the present and reduce your anxiety and stress
- Do stuff you enjoy
- Spend time with friends and family
By doing the things listed above, you’ll think less about your ex and you won’t be consumed by sad and negative thoughts.
Just be kind and patient with yourself and you’ll get through this.
2) Meet someone new
Meeting someone new is sometimes the best cure to an ex you’ll never hear from again.
The only constant in life is change, and even if you are sure you’ll never replace your ex, you don’t have to.
Hold on to their memory, feel whatever you feel.
But here’s the crazy thing:
You don’t have to live up to any role or ideal. You can just meet someone new and see where it goes.
They don’t have to be the love of your life.
Maybe they’ll end up becoming a best friend, or a dance partner!
Maybe they’ll disappoint you and be a waste of time…
But keep moving if at all possible.
And do your best to enjoy the ride even through the big swoops.
3) Laugh in the face of chaos
I’ll be honest with you:
Sometimes life serves you a shit sandwich, and your only choice is to cry or laugh.
Or maybe both!
Making sense of why these things keep happening or how love went so wrong can cause a massive hangover…
It can even hurt your physical health.
That’s why sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh in the face of the chaos.
Accept the pain and the anger inside, but don’t revel in it.
Just keep moving. And laughing.
4) Get into your body
Many of us in our digital world spend too much time in our heads!
And you know what…
I have nothing against heads! But having spent way too much of my own life stuck in mind, I highly recommend getting unstuck.
A big part of unfucking your mind isn’t about thinking at all!
It’s about getting in your body, taking action, connecting with the earth and truly living.
You have more than enough time to sit and stare at a TV screen or pore over old texts between you and your ex.
Go out and swim instead, or go try a punching bag at the gym! You might be surprised how great you feel afterwards.
5) Consider a change of scenery
Sometimes the memories you have with an ex really are just too painful.
You walk by certain restaurants and remember them, or even shop in certain supermarkets and find yourself crying in the pasta aisle.
That’s not going to do you any good, no matter how tasty that pesto is.
That’s why you sometimes need to consider a change of scenery.
If this means moving to a new neighborhood, new state or even new country, so be it!
Maybe you can also shake things up in your professional life, with your hairstyle, personal wardrobe and interests.
Despite the disappointment of your ex having left you behind for good, think of how much freedom you now have to tap into your full potential completely unencumbered by the expectations and judgments of your partner.
You can now become the best you can be, even if that means remodeling your kitchen the way you always wanted, moving to Ireland and working in a pub, or starting a heavy metal jam band in your garage.
Do it!
