Relationships can be hard, but when you have the right person on your side, you feel like you can conquer the world together!
When you choose a spouse, you want a reliable and supportive partner who will love you even through the darkest days.
And it’s usually in those dark periods that you become aware of the true colors of the person you’re with.
You might even go as far as questioning whether you’ve picked the right individual to be your life partner and best friend.
To help ease your mind and provide some clarity about your relationship, let’s look at 9 signs that you’ve chosen a good spouse.
1) You don’t feel judged by them.
You know that you’re with the right person when you can just be yourself around them. You don’t feel like they’ll judge you, which gives you the freedom to let loose.
Regardless of your imperfections or whether you make mistakes, your partner’s love and admiration don’t waiver. You feel safe and secure in their presence.
Ultimately, you accept one another, faults and all, because you have unconditional love.
But if you notice changes, like when they withhold affection when they want things or become dismissive and highly critical of your opinions, it could be a sign they’re taking advantage of you.
2) You trust them.
Trust, honesty, and transparency are the pillars of a solid relationship. Without trust, you’ll be in constant conflict with one another, and at the end of the day, you’ll be miserable.
Let’s say that your spouse plans a day out with friends. You feel comfortable and relaxed about it without counting down the hours till they’re back or worrying about what they’ll get up to.
Can you share your deepest, darkest secrets with them?
A trustworthy partner is one you can confide in. If something is bothering you or you want to share an experience from your past, you know they’ll listen and support you.
If your partner has integrity and you can both be honest about your emotions, finances, struggles, and even those random thoughts, you have trust.
3) You share similar beliefs and core values.
Sharing similar beliefs and values makes it easier to communicate and establish goals within your relationship. If you can’t see eye-to-eye on matters such as spirituality, where to live, or raising kids, it creates friction and constant conflict that are detrimental to a partnership.
Think of values as the glue that holds a relationship together.
Common core values such as commitment, lifestyle, and future plans can help you compromise without discussions turning into heated arguments.
Does this mean that you have to have similar interests?
Interests are different from values. Let’s say that you both love classic movies, but when it comes to exercise, you enjoy a good workout while your spouse prefers a leisurely game of golf. You can have different interests, provided you find common ground to enjoy each other’s company.
You can’t mimic one another’s likes and dislikes, and an important part of a healthy relationship is maintaining your own identity.
If you and your spouse have similar values and share some interests, it’s easier to plan a rewarding future together.
4) You handle conflict constructively.
There comes a point where every couple finds themselves facing conflict. And it’s absolutely normal to fight with one another when you have a disagreement, but it’s not normal to be hurtful, insulting, or dismissive.
In a healthy relationship, differences of opinion or heated arguments are handled constructively. You don’t love each other any less because of a fight, and you don’t compete to be the one who’s right.
Instead, you try to understand the differences in perspectives that you have as a couple.
Arguments are part of figuring things out and finding common ground, and when you and your spouse can work through them together, you’re building a solid foundation and future together.
5) You have a similar mindset when it comes to money.
When you marry “Mr. or Mrs. Right,” you’ll share goals concerning your finances. Many newly married couples don’t realize the severe impact that changes in their financial situation can have on their lives.
Should you or your spouse lose your job and have to live on one income for a while, how will you cope?
A successful marriage relies on shared financial interests. You should both agree on factors such as creating a budget or planning for your retirement.
Many couples have a joint bank account, but even when there’s trust, you both need to establish the rules that apply concerning expenditure.
When you and your significant other are on the same page concerning money matters, it places less stress on the marriage. It will go a long way toward helping should your financial circumstances unexpectedly change.
6) You have their support no matter what.
This might sound a little cliché, but does your spouse make you want to be a better person?
I’m not saying that you should expect them to quote Jerry Maguire’s “You complete me,” but when you have their support, you can be open and honest, and that creates security and motivation.
If you feel like you don’t have your partner’s support, you should rethink the relationship.
Does your opinion matter? When you need to talk, do they listen or jump to defend themselves while pointing the finger at you?
You know that you have a dedicated spouse when they’re in your corner. That means that they won’t judge or criticize you but will try to understand where you’re coming from.
7) You have good intimacy.
Good chemistry in the bedroom is a definite sign that you’ve found a compatible spouse!
It makes you feel wanted, valued, and cared for, which are important factors when it comes to marital satisfaction.
Being sexually compatible can prevent frustration in the bedroom. But apart from being intimate, little things like showing affection with a kiss or cuddling build trust, which puts you in a positive mood.
You should feel comfortable enough to express how you feel if your intimacy is not making you happy. Your spouse should be willing to listen and understand your needs.
8) You give each other space.
When you’ve picked the right spouse, you’ll share things together, but you’re mindful of one another’s space.
We all need some time alone, whether to wind down after a long day or to do what we love. This doesn’t mean placing your relationship on timeout. It means having some freedom and trust to do things that interest you without having your spouse by your side.
I got to a point in my relationship where I had to explain to my partner that I needed a day or even a couple of hours to myself at least once a week.
I’ve always been independent, and when my spouse and I moved in together, we barely spent time apart. I felt like I was slowly losing a sense of my identity, and I noticed that I’d developed a short fuse due to my frustration.
Be open about why you need time out rather than becoming angry and resentful.
You might not know this.
The latest trend for married couples is to sleep in separate rooms if their partner disturbs them with snoring or restlessness. Many have sworn that this kind of space actually saved their marriages!
If your spouse knows when to give you space, even if they sleep in another room because they snore too much, you’ve got a keeper.
9) You respect each other.
I don’t think that any relationship can survive if you don’t have respect.
Respect isn’t a one-way street, and both parties in a marriage should work on valuing their partner.
Here’s why respect is important:
Respecting one another means accepting who you are at your core. You both feel safe in the relationship and focus on encouraging one another during good and bad times.
What really stands out to me is that a respectful partner is considerate of your opinion and makes decisions with you.
This really opens the channels of communication because you don’t fear that what you say will be disregarded or scrutinized.
At the end of the day, nobody’s perfect. You won’t always agree with them, and sometimes your relationship becomes so challenging that you question whether you’re meant for each other.
Despite the hard times, you know that your significant other is there for you. Better yet, you see them in the nine qualities mentioned above, so you have confidence and peace in your heart that you’ve picked an exceptional spouse.