8 signs you may be in love with the wrong person, according to a relationship expert

Being in love can make it hard to see the truth, especially when your partner isn’t the right match for you.

If you find yourself justifying their actions, feeling more anxious than happy, or sacrificing your own needs, it may be a sign you’re in love with the wrong person.

I’m Tina Fey, founder of Love Connection and a relationship expert.

I’ve seen countless instances where people get caught up in relationships that aren’t serving them well.

Recognizing the signs that you’re in love with the wrong person can be challenging.

But fear not, I’m here to shed some light on these subtle signals.

Here’s to making your love life a little less complicated!

1) Constant conflict

Love, they say, is a battlefield. But how much fighting is too much?

Well, if your relationship feels like a constant war zone, that’s a telltale sign you may be in love with the wrong person.

Disagreements and arguments are normal in any relationship.

However, if you’re always at odds and never seem to reach common ground, you might want to take a step back and evaluate things.

Being in love with someone doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything.

But it does mean being able to resolve conflicts in a way that strengthens your bond, rather than breaking it.

So keep your eyes open for this sign. It might just save your heart from unnecessary heartache.

2) You’re losing yourself

One of the most significant signs that you’re in love with the wrong person can be if you find yourself losing your identity.

As a relationship expert and someone who has walked this path before, I can’t stress enough how important it is to maintain your individuality in a relationship.

If you’re always bending over backward to please your partner or constantly changing your interests, opinions, or even appearance to fit their preferences, you might be heading down a slippery slope.

Remember the wise words of Oscar Wilde, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

Love should never require you to lose who you are. Instead, it should inspire you to grow and become the best version of yourself.

Take a moment and reflect. If you feel like you’re losing touch with your true self, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.

3) You’re overly dependent

Another red flag that you may be in love with the wrong person is if you find yourself overly dependent on them.

There’s a fine line between love and dependency.

If you feel like you can’t function without your partner or if your happiness solely depends on them, this could indicate a codependent relationship.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss in detail how codependency can negatively affect not only your relationship but also your overall mental health.

A healthy relationship bridges two independent lives, not merge them into one.

So, it’s crucial to maintain a balance between togetherness and individuality.

If you’re noticing signs of codependency in your relationship, I encourage you to read my book.

It’s filled with practical advice and insights on how to regain your independence and create healthier relationships.

4) You’re happier alone

Here’s a sign that might seem counterintuitive: you’re happier when you’re alone than when you’re with your partner.

Isn’t the whole point of being in a relationship to enjoy each other’s company?

But if you find yourself breathing a sigh of relief when your partner leaves, or if you consistently have a better time alone than when you’re with them, then it might be time to reconsider your feelings.

Love should enhance your life, not become a source of stress.

So, if solitude brings you more joy than your relationship, it could indicate that you’re in love with the wrong person.

It’s okay to enjoy your own company.

However, if you consistently prefer it over spending time with your partner, this could be a clear sign that something is amiss in your relationship.

5) Your instincts are ringing alarm bells

Trust me on this one, your gut instincts are often right.

If deep down, something feels off about your relationship, it’s essential to pay attention to that feeling.

Throughout my career as a relationship expert, and even in my personal life, I’ve learned that our instincts serve as our internal alarm system.

They’re there to protect us from harm and guide us towards what is right for us.

If your gut is telling you that you may be in love with the wrong person, don’t ignore it.

Try to understand where this feeling is coming from and address it head-on.

You owe it to yourself to create a love life that brings you joy and fulfillment.

Tune into your intuition. It might be trying to tell you something important about your relationship.

6) You’re making excuses for their behavior

Let’s be brutally honest here.

If you constantly find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior, you might be in love with the wrong person.

Bad behavior is bad behavior, no matter how much we try to sugarcoat it.

If your partner is disrespectful, dishonest, or consistently lets you down and you’re always justifying their actions, it’s time to take a hard look at your relationship.

Love doesn’t mean putting up with behavior that hurts or belittles you.

You deserve respect, honesty, and care in your relationship.

If you’re not getting it, it’s okay to question if this person is truly the right one for you.

So let’s call a spade a spade. If their behavior isn’t up to par, don’t shy away from acknowledging it.

It could be a crucial step in finding the love you truly deserve.

7) Your future plans don’t align

I’ve seen it time and time again in my line of work—couples madly in love, but with vastly different visions of the future.

If your future goals and plans don’t align with your partner’s, it could be a significant sign that you’re in love with the wrong person.

Love is wonderful, but it’s also important to look ahead.

You might dream of traveling the world, while they want a quiet life in the suburbs.

Or you might want kids, while they don’t see children in their future.

These differences can become insurmountable obstacles if not addressed honestly and early on.

As the great Mark Twain once said, “Plan for the future because that’s where you are going to spend the rest of your life.”

It’s essential that your plans for that future can coexist with those of your partner.

So take some time to discuss your dreams and aspirations.

If they don’t align and compromise seems impossible, it may be a sign you’re in love with the wrong person.

8) You’re constantly unhappy

This one might be tough to hear, but it’s vital. If you’re perpetually unhappy in your relationship, it’s a glaring sign that you’re in love with the wrong person.

Relationships have their ups and downs, of course.

But if your low days significantly outnumber the good ones, something is definitely off.

Love is supposed to uplift you and bring out the best in you.

If instead, you’re feeling drained, sad or unfulfilled most of the time, it’s time to face the harsh reality.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve a love that lights up your life, not one that casts a shadow over it. So be honest with yourself about your feelings.

It’s the first step towards a happier future.

Conclusion

Recognizing that you might be in love with the wrong person can be a hard pill to swallow.

But acknowledging the truth is the first step towards a healthier and happier love life.

It’s crucial to listen to your heart, but also to your head and your gut.

You deserve a love that brings joy, respect, and fulfillment.

If you’re not feeling these things in your relationship, it might be time for some tough decisions.

For more guidance on navigating tricky relationship waters and overcoming codependency, check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

You’re not alone in this journey. And with honesty, courage, and a little help from experts like me, you can find the love that you truly deserve. Stay strong!