Some people seem to easily get what they want in life.
And then there’s the majority who feel stuck and unable to move forward.
What separates these people?
I think it’s quite simple.
People who get what they want have a positive relationship with their desires. The feeling of “wanting” brings them joy, whereas the people who don’t get what they want feel bad when they feel desire.
I explained this in my latest YouTube video. Watch it below, and keep reading for the key signs you know how to get what you want in life.
1) Know what you want
This first sign is the most obvious.
To get what you want in life you have to know what you want.
The problem is that many people are confused about their desires. They think they want more success, but really they want a comfortable and secure lifestyle that keeps them in their comfort zone.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting success or wanting to keep things simple. It’s just important to be clear about what you really want.
Because when you’re clear on what you really want, you’re able to then focus on setting goals to achieve it.
2) Set clear goals
People who know what they want don’t just focus on the end result.
They are able to set clear goals that set them on a path to achieving them.
In my many years as an entrepreneur, I’ve learned a simple trick about setting goalsthat makes them more likely to be achieved.
I make sure that I set goals I enjoy pursuing, even if I don’t achieve them.
This may sound defeatist, but it’s not. I’m very driven to achieve my goals and work very hard. I don’t assume I won’t achieve them.
But I value the process of working towards the goals just as much as I want to achieve them. I want to go home from work having had a satisfying day.
People who get what they want in life set clear goals that are aligned with the life they want to live in the present moment.
3) Let go of your desires
This may sound a bit strange after writing about the importance of knowing what you want.
But stick with me for just a moment.
People who get what they want in life are able to let go of their desires.
Our desires can either lead us towards where we want to go to or they can consume us, keeping us stuck in place.
This is because when we have a desire, we are telling ourselves that we don’t currently have that thing.
Therefore, we need to let go of desiring the outcome and instead focus on the feelings that outcome brings to us.
By understanding the feelings we desire, we can then do things that bring those feelings. It may be that our goals become a little more humble, but we’ll create powerful momentum in our life that brings us towards what we deeply want.
I go deeper into letting go of desires in my video. Watch it here.
4) Don’t let others judge you
People who get what they want in life have figured out something that many people struggle with.
These people don’t let others judge them.
There are so many people judging us all of the time.
We grow up with parents evaluating everything we’re doing. We go to school where we are encouraged to get good grades and win over the approval of our teachers. We end up in jobs where we need to follow the orders of managers.
The world is full of judgment.
But people who get what they want have figured out something important. They have stopped caring about the judgment of others.
They probably still “play the game”, doing well at work and keeping the peace with their family.
But they don’t base their sense of fulfillment on the judgment of others. They don’t feel the need to prove themselves.
5) Move past failure
People who get what they want are comfortable with failure. It doesn’t keep them stuck in place, worried about their next move.
That’s because people who get what they want know that failing at something is an opportunity for learning something new.
When we fail at something, we’re out of our comfort zone. We’re in uncharted territory.
Failure is an opportunity for growth.
6) Change your mindset
Failure is an opportunity for growth because it gives us the opportunity to continually change our mindset.
Many people become stuck in their ways, not wanting to change anything about themselves.
But people who get what they want in life aren’t so stuck in their ways. They have a growth mindset.
7) Practice gratitude
The above comment was left on my YouTube video about letting go of desires to get what you want in life.
Coach NewLifeNinja is suggesting that gratitude can be used to create what he refers to as “energetic requests” to activate the law of attraction.
The trick is to feel gratitude for what people have that you don’t yet have because they are demonstrating to you that it’s possible to get what you want.
It’s a neat trick and something worth trying. Leave a comment to let Coach NewLifeNinja know what you think.
8) Work hard
Much of the article so far has been about mindset and reframing our approach to achieving goals.
People who get what they want in life are able to do all of these things, but they don’t stop there.
They also work very hard to get what they want.
They are able to create simple routines that can be repeated every single day, over and over, bringing them forwarding life.
They do this through working hard.
Here’s a pro tip on working hard:
You don’t need massive willpower to work hard. You just need discipline and the ability to keep things simple.
9) Know your purpose (your “why”)
People who get what they want are clear on their deeper purpose in life.
There’s a reason for getting all of the things they want.
And that reason is usually focused on helping other people in their life.
Here’s what the shaman Rudá Iandê says about purpose:
“Purpose is usually a mistaken word. I’ve seen many people looking for a greater purpose in life, like a kind of mission to save the world. Basically, they were trying to find something to make them feel super special and fuel their ego. Purpose is something different. You don’t need to change the world. You just need to shift your perspective, from ‘what can you take from life today’ to ‘how can you contribute to life today’.”
10) Be happy with less
There’s nothing wrong with wanting things in life. But people who get what they want are usually happy with wanting less.
This keeps things simple. They are more able to have what they want when they want less.
They then get into the habit of getting what they want, and this continually propels them forward in life.