9 signs you have just the right amount of self-confidence

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Self-confidence is a valuable trait that can empower you in many ways.

But you probably know people who take it a little too far…

They lack self-awareness, or come across as boastful or self-entitled.

Obviously, you don’t want to be that way! Here are 9 signs that you have just the right amount of self-confidence. 

1) You feel comfortable in your own skin

The first sign you have just the right amount of self-confidence is that you feel comfortable in your own skin.

This means you know who you are, and you don’t feel the need to try to change for anyone else.

You wear the clothes that make you feel comfortable, act the same way no matter who you are around, and only do and say things that feel true to you.

The thing is that when you feel truly confident in who you are, you don’t mind adapting your behavior to make people you care about happy.

For example, I know someone who is super laid back, and can usually be seen in the same ripped jeans and black T-shirt any day of the year. 

But when he gets invited to a formal event, he has no problem dressing more smartly, and toning down his slightly rowdy communication style.

2) You’re open to learning and growing

When you have just the right amount of self-confidence, you know that you have certain talents and skills. 

But you also understand that personal growth is a lifelong journey and that there’s always room for improvement. You embrace new experiences, challenges, and opportunities for learning. 

Rather than feeling threatened by feedback or constructive criticism, you see it as a chance to enhance your skills and expand your knowledge. 

What’s more, you actively seek out opportunities to acquire new knowledge or develop new competencies.

For instance, let’s say you’re passionate about photography. Even though you already know how to take good photos, you take the initiative to enroll in a professional photography course to enhance your technical skills and learn new techniques.

Being open to learning and growing demonstrates that your self-confidence is not rooted in illusion, but in a genuine desire to become the best version of yourself.

3) You have great self-awareness

How self-aware are you? If you have just the right amount of self-confidence, then you will confidently answer, “very”. 

Because real self-confidence comes from knowing, inside and out, your strengths and weaknesses. 

You know what people can rely on you for, and what they probably shouldn’t — and that doesn’t mean anything bad.

In fact, you’ll be much more respected if you are honest with people about your limitations and what you cannot promise. 

For example, let’s say you’re working on a team project, and you recognize that your public speaking skills are not as strong as your writing skills. 

Instead of attempting to deliver a presentation that might not showcase your abilities, you suggest that a team member who excels in public speaking take the lead.

4) You practice humility

Self-confidence is considered by many to be the opposite of humility.

But the fact is, they go hand in hand — to the extent that being humble is a key sign that you have just the right amount of self-confidence.

This includes recognizing the gifts and contributions of others, and also not needing to constantly boast about your own accomplishments.

Someone who is truly good at something doesn’t need to yell it from the rooftops in order to get validation from others.

It’s enough if you know it yourself, and you have the humility to know that there is still a long way to go. 

5) You are resilient in the face of setbacks

How do you react to setbacks?

Some people crumble at the first bump in the road, and lose all motivation. But others have a stronger resolve, and don’t let setbacks deter them from pursuing their goals.

The latter describes people with just the right amount of self-confidence.

I’m happy to say I recognized a personal example of this in myself.

I wanted to try a new field of work, and applied to a job posting I saw on a freelancer website. I did a small sample project for them, and the lady completely tore it apart.

I could have been discouraged and given up trying, but instead I took that as a sign that I had a lot to improve. So I enrolled in a professional course, and now I have to turn people away because I get so many requests for help. 

If you’ve had a similar experience in your life too, you can be truly proud of yourself. 

6) You’re willing to take calculated risks

Let’s say you get a cool idea for a new business. You have enough money to kick it off, but it is quite a significant amount. What do you do?

If you have just the right amount of self-confidence, here’s what you would probably do next.

You would conduct some market research, develop a solid business plan, and consult with some experts in the field.

And if it all checks out, you would take the leap.

Because real self-confidence means you’re willing to take calculated risks. You understand that growth and progress often require stepping out of your comfort zone and embracing new opportunities, even if they come with a level of uncertainty.

This demonstrates your belief in yourself and your ability to handle challenges. 

7) You celebrate the success of others

When you’re just the right amount of self-confident, you don’t feel threatened or envious when someone else achieves something significant. 

Instead, you feel genuinely happy for them and offer your support and congratulations.

I must admit that I struggled with this in the past. I was always comparing myself to others, and when someone else achieved something, for a second I would get scared that I’m falling short by comparison.

But as I’ve matured and grown more confident, I’ve learned to adopt a better perspective. Today, I recognize that everyone’s success is a reflection of their own efforts and talents, and doesn’t diminish my own.

In fact, I look at other people’s success as an opportunity to learn from their achievements and be inspired. 

8) You maintain healthy boundaries

Boundaries are so important in order for us to build healthy relationships and reach our goals.

As a truly self-confident person, you know how to set them. 

You understand your own needs and limits, and you communicate them effectively to others. You respect yourself enough to say no when necessary and to prioritize your well-being.

A friend of mine comes to mind as a great example. She works freelance as support for copywriters and designers, and some of the people she supports seem to do work relatively last minute.

One of them reached out on a Friday night to ask if she could work over the weekend. Rather than caving in, my friend politely told her that she is happy to help during business hours. 

This is the best thing she could have done, because otherwise she would be setting a precedent for her clients to contact her at any hour of the day expecting immediate help. 

She knows her worth, and that if she loses a client because she refused to sacrifice time with her family, it’s not a work relationship worth keeping. 

9. You take ownership of your mistakes

“I made a mistake.”

These words will rarely come out of the mouth of someone who is too self-confident for their own good.

But if you have just the right amount of self-confidence, you won’t have a problem admitting when you’ve made a wrong decision.

Rather than shifting blame or making excuses, you accept responsibility for your actions and choices. You recognize that making mistakes is a natural part of growth, and of being human.

All you can do now is learn from it, make amends, and strive to do better in the future — whether that means apologizing for a thoughtless comment, helping fix a broken item, or putting in some extra hours to solve a mixup at work. 

When you show the humility and self-confidence to do this, people respect you all the more for it. 

Developing just the right amount of self-confidence

Everyone wants to be self-confident — but few people stop to think about where the healthy limit is.

By reading this article, you are already much better off than most other people. 

You may have realized that you have just the right amount of self-confidence, or perhaps you might find that you can adjust your mindset to a better one. 

Either way, you’re certainly on the right path to finding great success in life

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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